Category Archives: General Life Observations

Agricultural Perfection!

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There are moments in life when perfection stares you in the face and you are forced to act. Yesterday evening I was driving back from visiting my old man when I suddenly slammed on the brakes, grabbed my trusty i-phone and took this mornings photo. I just wish that I’d had a proper camera with me…

Sometimes you just know that somethings right,
like the potato planting I saw last night.
It wasn’t me on the tractor as everyone knows,
I’d never achieved such perfect rows.
…so I’ll just sit back and enjoy someone else’s perfection!

Have a great day and if you can find perfection, even in others, luxuriate in the discovery and have a great day!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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…As A Post!

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For the last day or so I’ve been struck down with little or no hearing. It started with an attempt at self-medication using bicarbonate of soda as ear drops. It worked so well that all of a sudden I could hear nothing. So I’ve had a day of driving a silent mower, a silent tractor and a silent Loadall, much to my surprise. Unfortunately I have still been able to be infuriated by cold-calls that have cut through my peaceful day…

I’m walking in someone else’s shoes,
if I could sing I’d be singing the blues,
every-time someone speaks I say “What?”
I think I may have lost the plot.
But all is not lost I have to say,
because every morning could herald a better day
I hear the phone calling out to me,
just a cold call about electricity!
And I know not to be bereft,
it’s only temporary, I’ll not be long-term deaf.
In order to hear conversation I didn’t wanna-miss,
I self-medicated with a few cans of Guinness!
…it didn’t help!

May you enjoy a peaceful Bank-Holiday weekend but without ear-drops!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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Holy Moly – It’s a Landmark!

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Desperately searching for a topic and photo this morning, both presented themselves by accident! The photo subject caught my eye on Saturday and was stored for later use and the topic caught my eye just now! This mornings post is dedicated to the hundreds of thousands who have read my offerings since February 2012…

Holy Moly,
Guacamole,

Look up with surprise
Fall off a log!
Today marks the seventeen-hundredth
Baldock Bard Blog!

Thank you for reading,
for being there,
have a great day!
You see – I care!

Have a great day and I’ll see you all tomorrow!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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A Farmer’s May-time Fear!

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In early May a farmer’s mind tends to wander! It is time for mega-form-filling for the Rural Payments Agency in order to claim Basic Payment Scheme. Unfortunately it is rather complicated with Entitlements, Greening, Exemptions, EFA’s and Cross Compliance. These are all words that are guaranteed to strike fear into a farmer’s heart before 15thMay – deadline day…

Every year,
a farmer’s great fear,
is to make a mess,
of his BPS.
The mistake may be small,
but they risk losing all,
if the paperwork’s not away,
by the fifteenth of May.
It’s now all online,
which suits me just fine,
but I must be sure,
to lock my office door.
If I should escape,
and ignore the red tape,
please lock me back in,
and remove my large gin!

Later on I shall be taking a problem to the RPA Helpline. The one government helpline that is staffed by the most helpful people, they must be angels!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

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The May-Day Cowslip

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Using a ride-on mower on a lawn is a mixed blessing. While it is great to glide up and down the grass, it can be difficult to weave in and out of obstacles like hedges and flowerbeds. However one obstruction at this time of year is entirely worth the inconvenience (and un-mown patches of long grass!)…

There’s nothing quite like cowslips,
when they appear on your lawn,
you have to swerve the mower,
or in haste they’ll be shorn!
Their delicate strident yellow,
perfect contrast to the green,
the disruption’s always worth it,
for this annual April scene!

In years past the cowslip was used to decorate May-day head-dresses, Happy May the First!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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Five Orphan Ducklings!

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On Saturday afternoon Mrs Bard spotted five ducklings, clinging to a log, floating down the river. While four looked like they would possibly make the perilous journey, the fifth looked all-in. Luckily the log bumped into our moored boat and I was able to rescue them with a fisherman’s net. Despite much searching, there was no sign of a mother-duck and as it became apparent that they were well away from home territory, a rescue operation was put into place…

Five orphan ducklings,
clinging to a log,
floating down the river,
there’s barking from a dog.
Five orphan ducklings,
floating on a raft,
there’s a farmer with a net,
his friends will think he’s daft!
Five orphan ducklings,
are now in the car,
twenty-four miles later,
safe and warm they are!
Five little ducklings,
are well-fed and alive,
will be on a farmer’s pond,
they’ll be safe and hopefully will thrive!
I know that I’ve gone soft, but the older I get, the less I care! Many thanks to Val for being such a wonderful surrogate mummy and providing them with a snuggly sock-warmer nest!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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A Farmer’s Straight Rows!

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Towards the end of every week from April to October I can be found in a 10 acre field on the outskirts of Baldock riding a small ride-on mower! If I had £1 for every time in the last 26 years where some wise joker has asked me what I was doing in such a large field with such a small mower I could retire to the West Indies! However it is an integral part of preparations for the Saturday car boot sales…

You grow more potatoes,
when the row isn’t straight,
I guess the same goes for containers,
and other types of freight!
But at a car boot sale,
if the lines are all obscure,
customers are unhappy,
and I end up ‘in manure!’
So every week,
between April and October,
I try to mow straight lines,
(have to do it when cold sober!)
They all say it’s easy,
to run a car boot sale,
but let me assure you,
there are many ways to fail!
…and one of them is crooked rows!!

Have a great weekend and if you’re mowing a lawn, enjoy keeping the rows straight!
If you’re anywhere near Baldock, come and have a look for yourself (details below!)

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober  2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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April Showers

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Yesterday we had the first proper April shower this year, only 25 days into the month! Before that we’ve had days of solid rain only. This was a shower of biblical proportions along with added hail and sudden gusts of wind…

April showers,
rain and hail,
there’s a Storm Warning,
was it in the Mail?
Last week sunshine,
warmer than the Med,
‘Phew! What a Scorcher!’
The headlines could have said!
Next week frost?
Could there be snow?
We’ll not be asking journalists,
because they simply do not know!

May today be a pleasant warm spring day with no surprises!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
Bootsale starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober  2018
www.u-boot.co.uk
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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The Kayaking Couple!

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Last week while staying near the River Great Ouse in Cambridgeshire, I spotted a couple of intrepid explorers paddling down the river in a kayak. Oblivious to the dangerous rapids, waterfalls and treacherous bends, they seemed to be enjoying their trek…

Kayaking down the Yukon
on a Sunday afternoon,
they have shot ten rapids,
and had a packed lunch by noon,
soon they’ll have an ice cream,
from a mobile stall,
and only then they’ll admit,
they weren’t in the wilds at all!
They’ll porter to the car park,
then they’ll head for home,
a semi outside of Biggleswade,
from where they like to roam!

With apologies to the two who were enjoying a peaceful day’s paddling before they were spotted and written about!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
Bootsale starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober  2018
www.u-boot.co.uk
It’s the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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The Trolley-Cam

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While shopping over the weekend I came across a couple arguing. I wondered if such a thing as a Trolley-Cam existed, would people start putting ‘shocking shopping moments’ on Twitface rather like they do with motorway incidents now. I had invented ‘Trolley-Cam’ (in my mind). Then, on second thoughts I decided that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea…

I went shopping with my trolley-cam,
just in case I met an argumentative man,
down the aisles without any strife,
all of a sudden “You filming my wife?”
I tried to explain, as one should,
“of course not old chap, as if I would?”
“You’d better not” he said to I,
and with a fist he blacked my eye.
So the idea is a definite non-starter,
I’m too much a coward to make a good martyr!

Enjoy today and smile as you’re bound to be on camera somewhere! The Truman Show is here and now.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
7am Every Saturday until October
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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