Early Morning Sleep Depravation!

Posted on May 7, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Last Saturday I was surprised to find a large queue of sellers awaiting me at the car boot sale. It was silly-o-clock in the morning, a time most sensible people have never seen at the weekend! A late arrival, some hours later, who still found a space, suggested somewhere they could go…

Before half-past six on Saturday,
they queued for the car boot sale,
some had been there for over an hour,
in case their pitch for a pitch should fail!
Someone suggested that they should,
possibly later this week,
buy a comfortable mattress,
or specialist counselling seek!

Have a great week and savour those extra minutes stole in bed after the alarm has rudely interrupted your sleep!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Bootsale Topdown!

Posted on May 6, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

According to those who know more than me about photography (that’s anyone with a ‘Box Brownie’ or similar!), the above photo of last weeks car boot sale is known as a ‘Topdown’. If there is an acknowledged way of taking wonderful photos, I haven’t found it yet! I rely mostly on a bit of luck, my DJI Mavic Pro drone and my un-trained eye…

Flying above the bootsale,
somewhat below the clouds,
my brave little drone,
takes topdowns of the crowds!
Sometimes they are acceptable,
sometimes I make a boob,
but sometimes they are good enough,
to put up on my You-Tube!

To see the animated version of the picture above please visit:
https://youtu.be/qJW94iqH-SU
Have a great weekend and stay safe!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
25 YEARS!
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

My Farmer Failings!

Posted on May 5, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Amongst my many failings, Mrs Bard has one big complaint. Whenever we drive somewhere I’m always looking over the hedge to see what other farmers are doing! From “That doesn’t look a very good field of wheat,” to “That crop looks far better than mine!” Passing a tractor on the road begs the question (sometimes unspoken!) – “What’s he doing? Where’s he going?” Farmers can’t help it although apparently counselling can sometimes help…

If a farmer has a drone,
you’re in the garden with only socks,
he won’t be looking at you,
just at his neighbours’ crops!
If you see a naked knight in the bathroom,
without his suit of armour,

You can take a farmer from the farm,
but never remove it from a farmer!

Have a great day and stay safe. Picture shows Case Quadtrac and Lemkin cultivator – only saying in case you’re interested!

The Uncultivated Wild!

Posted on May 4, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

This morning we have a group from a primary school in London coming to visit the farm. One particularly popular part of the visit is when we visit ‘The Zombie Ground’. As it has had no human interference and is wild it may be representative of a post apocalyptic world. Eleven years ago we took a piece of field, fenced it in, and left it to its own devices. The government advisor at the time suggested that trees would grow even though none were planted. I suggested that if that happened I’d eat my hat. Some trees have grown and so I’d better fetch my cap along with knife and fork…

I’ll be showing the children the ‘Zombie Ground’,
where self-set trees are all around.
I’ll explain to them this morning,
‘no more farming?’ It’s a warning.
The countryside would just go wild,
apart from the odd roaming child.
Living off simply berries and nuts,
not much fun no if’s nor but’s.
But I’ll say “don’t you fear,
we have a harvest every year,”
Then we’ll consider those abroad,
who are hungry and can’t afford,
things that we take for granted,
‘we always harvest all we planted’.

We are so very lucky to live in a land of plenty. The next time you eat, please spare a thought for those who live daily with hunger.

Monkey Goat and Internet Down!

Posted on May 3, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

For two hours this morning I couldn’t log onto my blogsite. I checked that I had put coins in the meter, the power was ‘on’ and the engine ticking away: still no result. I had’t realised that others were watching until suddenly without warning I was able to post…

“What is he doing?”
said Monkey to friend Goat,
“he’s been up for two hours,
not a word has he wrote!
It looks like the Internet,
won’t post his daily blog,
be easier to write it on,
paper or a log!
The poem he could carve,
‘from an elderly generation’,
and float it down the river,
it’s called an artist’s installation!”

Have a good day and stay connected!

Pan Overboard!

Posted on May 2, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

On the Bank Holiday Mrs Bard and I were invited to go on a short cruise on a river by some friends who own a posh cruiser. While eating a rater fine piece of cake I made a mess on the Wilton and the dustpan and brush went into action. Unfortunately while giving the crumbs to the fish, an accident occurred…

Up went the cry:
“Pan overboard!
it can’t swim,
Oh my Lord!
Attention Captain!
Stop the boat,
it can’t swim,
perhaps it’ll float?”
By swift action,
I’ll not forget,
the pan was saved,
by Annette!

Have a great week and if you’re boating please take care

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Gosling’s Mother!

Posted on April 29, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

There are many times in life when I see an image that takes my breath away and I can admit to being jealous of the photographer. Friend Val is a great wildlife photographer and I asked if I could borrow this picture of our new goslings because I believe it is truly worth ‘a thousand words’. Worry not dear reader, I’m not about to deliver that many words…

Val took this picture,
of our geese having a chat:
“Girls, I told you he wasn’t the father!”
perfect for a photo like that!

Thank you Val for letting me share this with others, wonderful photo.
Have a great weekend. BB

Nature’s Confetti!

Posted on April 28, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

This time of year we have fleeting moments that mostly we miss in our hurley-burley lives. The daffodils hang their dying heads and the snowdrops are a distant memory. Their places taken by bluebells in the woods and blossom blowing on the wind…

It looks like there’s been a wedding,
on our drive today,
where everyone threw confetti,
as the happy couple went away!

On the trees are Nature’s bouquets,
perfect for the bride,
to walk down the aisle,
with her intended by her side.

But if you look closely,
no bridal party came this way,
just blossom from the trees,
as in the wind they sway!

Have a great weekend. If you are getting married may happiness fill your day.

The Disappointment of Rain Gauges!

Posted on April 27, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Like a small child waking up on Christmas Day, I rushed out to my rain gauge this morning to see what the clouds had left me in the last 24 hours. The result was like getting the train tracks from Santa, with optional station and signal box, but without any rolling stock! However the forecast suggests ‘Light Rain Showers’ from 2pm until midnight…

The disappointment in my rain gauge,
will haunt me all day long,
just 2 millimetres (or an eighth of an inch),
is neither right nor wrong!
I suppose it’s just a case,
of farmers being satisfied,
with what we’ve got (not a lot!),
and accept the weather’s not on our side!
…But there’s is always hope for today!

If you’re looking forward to a sunny day, I hope you find it. However if you spot some rain-bearing clouds, please send them my way (but NOT for Saturday!).

Mr Bunn’s Big Bag!

Posted on April 26, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Throughout my farming career there have not been many years when we haven’t used fertiliser from Bunns, an old established company from Norfolk. While waiting for the spreader yesterday, I contemplated the wonderful advancement of the big bag that makes my job of carting to the spreader from the barn so easy. I the days of my youth the man doing the same job used to have to handle 1cwt (50kg) bags by hand, a back-breaking task…

Years ago a Mr Bunn,
said to his wife: “let’s give farmer’s fun!”
They sat in the kitchen with a bottle of Tizer,
“we’ll sell them small bags of fertiliser!”
So for years they made farmers sweat,
(and praying for rain but not too wet!)
After the couple had enjoyed a good laugh:
“Let’s go down a different path!
We’ve made them panic, now let the sweat run,
we’ll fill a bag that weighs a ton!”
Every year it’s easier for me,
they didn’t take into account my JCB!

With many thanks to Bunns and all the fertiliser manufacturers and sellers for initiating a quiet revolution un-noticed by most who drive by our farms.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: General Life Observations