Category Archives: Lifestyle

Slow You Down!

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Mrs Bard and I have just returned from a short break in Norfolk on the East Coast. It is said that anything that outsiders find strange is ‘NFN’ or ‘Normal for Norfolk’! It is very rural and farming still plays a large part in the economy. I’ve always found the natives to be friendly and far from being slow (despite some alternative road signs)…

Slow you down!
before the bend,
or your journey,
may sudden end!
Muddy roads,
a village (sweet),
what’s in the road?
Only sugar beet!

Have a great day and find some time to ‘Slow You Down!’

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

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Matt’s Man Flu!

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Yesterday I saw a friend who was not well. Matt is a big guy and to see him laid low by something so iniquitous was not a pretty sight. Being a sympathetic person, I had to record his suffering with a photo! Then I had an urge to write about him to complete his misery…

“I’m boiling cold,
and freezing hot,
I think it’s man flu,
that I’ve got!”

“Do you feed a cold,
or starve the flu?
I’ll give it beer,
that’s what I’ll do!”

“When I’m asked,
‘Why not in bed?’
I will say:
‘Hangover’ instead!”

Wishing ‘Big Matt’ a very speedy recovery!
Have a great day and keep away from germs!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
RETURNS AFTER 27 YEARS!
First Saturday after Easter 2019
Buyers will still Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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The World’s Largest Donut!

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The other night I dreamt that I was eating the world’s largest donut! Being diabetic and no longer allowed such fare, it was a wonderful illicit dream and took me back in time to two years ago before I was diagnosed when it would have been no impossible dream…

The world’s largest donut,
was in front of me!
Had to lift it up,
with my JCB.
Opened wide,
and took a bite,
to eat it all,
would have taken all night!

When I woke in the morning,
no sugar-coated mouth,
no lump in my stomach,
heading south,
I could have sworn if allowed,
I’d have eaten it all,
the wonderful dreams,
of a diabetic fool!

Have a fantastic Friday and if you can, treat yourself!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
LAST SALE TOMORROW!
THIS SATURDAY
20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Like a Bird (in the Sky)!

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Many years ago, back in the early seventies, there was a TV advert for a lighter bread called Nimble. The advert had a nubile young maiden (probably now in her mid-seventies!) floating in a hot-air balloon to a backing track by pop group Honeybus ‘She flies like a bird in the sky…’ I was reminded of this yesterday morning when the farm was overflown by a balloon sponsored by a very different company…

She flies like a virgin in the sky,
I’d like to fly with her I don’t know why!
Her large voluminous skirt,
Would well match my shirt,
as we go gently floating by!
Up there in the sky – clear blue,
I’d wave back down to you!
She’d offer no resistance,
(she never goes full distance),
as we’d go gently floating by!

Have a great Friday and weekend. Stay healthy, wise and safe!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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It’s a dogs life!

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I was looking through some recent photos and came across one that made me think. It came as a shock to suddenly realise that the dogs in this household don’t worry about anything. They have no worries about money, accommodation, jobs or clothes and have the ability to make their humans worry about them, even apologising to them if their dinner is late.I so want to be a dog…

She sits contented on the settee,
no real problems at all has she.
She sleeps with contentment every night,
only worries about what’s in her sight.
She often wonders ‘when’s my meal?’
no other troubles imagined or real.
As for housework she doesn’t care,
the sofa’s covered in her hair!
She’s so superior she doesn’t talk
sits by the door when she wants a walk!
If I had a choice a dog I’d be
…but only if my owner was me!

Have a great day and may all your worries evaporate!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

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The Journey (2018)

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Recently I visited the Holy Island of Lindisfarne, off the coast of Northumberland. In the church there was a woodcarving called ‘The Journey’ by sculptor, Fenwick Lawson (1999). It is carved from seven elm trees and to be quite honest, I found it a bit spooky as it seemed to me to be a stark reminder of our mortality…

There is a time to be born,
and a time to die.
A time to ask ‘How?’
And a time to ask ‘Why?’

If we ponder,
on the time of our fate,
we’ll end up doing nothing,
until it’s too late.

“That’s rather morbid!”
I hear people say,
so if you’re vertical and breathing,
enjoy your today!

Stay healthy, happy and safe and do it today!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Our Wonderful NHS!

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On Sunday I returned from holiday (reports of the Bard’s demise had been exaggerated!). I immediately went to see my elderly father and discovered him with a badly infected foot. This resulted in a Monday A&E day and much waiting for tests etc. I’m not very good with medical stuff and the terminology tends to confuse a simple soul like me…

Sitting waiting in Ambulatory Majors,
surrounded by doctors with bleeping pagers!
In a room with adjustable bedding,
Emma, a nurse, (I’d tractored her to her wedding!)
Overworked staff back and forth they zoom,
no wonder they call it the Darting Room!
Confusing terms wouldn’t have been complete,
without a sign to the ‘Fluoroscopy Suite!’

The staff and service trumpet success:
We’re so lucky to have the NHS!

Have a great day and stay safe and well

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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In Case of Emergency!

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What do you carry in your car in case of emergency? The other day I made an attempt to clear out the back of my trusty Mitsubishi Shogun Sport farm car. It was way overdue and I found myself troubling over what constituted important and was was superficial…

There’s a landing pad in the back of my car,
just in case my drone goes too far.
A wire hand winch to lift where I can’t,
a spade for planting a colourful plant.
Assorted tools for mending when stuff broke,
a spare high-vis from a car boot bloke.
There’s also a box of fencing nails,
a spare light-board in case one fails.
But most important a heap of loo rolls,
in case I’m frightened by zombies or trolls!
If none of them were in my car,
I’d need each one before I went far!

Have a good week and if you need any of the above you know where to call

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The 10k Fun Run

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I have never understood the connection between the words ‘Fun’ and ‘Run’. For me running inevitably involved an escaped pig when I was younger or errant drone when of more advanced years. Yesterday I watched the start of two Fun Runs and if I’d have been a million years younger, might even have been tempted by the 10km myself…

Watching all ages,
On a gruelling run,
Torture themselves,
Under a burning sun.

From five to fifty,
families having fun,
I can now see why it’s called,
‘The 10k Fun Run!’

If I did enter,
I think you’d find,
I’d end up finishing,
Three and a half miles behind!

Have a great day and enjoy the sunny weather, if you’re running don’t overdo it!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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The Bookworm!

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Recently a thread posted by author Terry Tyler on Twitter asked: “What makes you a bookworm?” I answered, “… when you can assemble Billy bookcases by Ikea without looking at the instructions or having to search for that rather strange ‘Allen-type’ key because the kitchen drawer is full of the little critters.” However despite my rather facetious answer it made me consider my reading habit…

What would we do without ‘BILLY’?
What would we do without books?
They take less space on a Kindle,
function doesn’t always replace good looks!

For a change I picked up a paperback,
it was strange to go analogue,
couldn’t locate the page-turning button,
and no backlight was like reading in fog!

It’s so easy to buy on the internet,
download and whoosh it is here!
But it’s not the same as a bookshop,
heaven help us if they disappear.

Enjoy a good read today or better still support your local bookshop and buy a book!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


http://www.countrytrust.org.uk

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