Category Archives: Lifestyle

Cossack-Style Farming!

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img_0889Did you ever watch a display by Cossack riders where they rode two horses at once around a ring whilst standing up? As a child I remember being awe-struck at this remarkable feat. Yesterday I attempted to multi-task, delivering seed in half-ton bags to the drill and rolling in behind with my newly-mended JCB Fastrac. I also managed to go and fetch more seed from a neighbouring farm and get to my granddaughter’s fourth birthday party…

Just like a Cossack,
I’m a rushin’ about,
rolling and driving,
while no laws do I flout!
The drill is kept going,
the rolling proceeds,
while fetching and carrying,
big bags of seeds!
At about four o’clock,
everything stops,
sing ‘Happy Birthday’
then back to my crops!
Later in the darkness,
my day is done,
the life of a farmer,
is filled with such fun!
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© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk


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Talk Like a Pirate Day!

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pirateToday is not only my 1,350th posting, but also “International Talk Like a Pirate Day”. Both could be described as a silly nonsensical things designed to be just fun! All around the world today, ordinary folk will be using those phrases we know and love. Some will be dressing up for the occasion and some will simply be letting loose the odd ‘Aaaaaaaarrrrrh’ to surprised customers, commuters or colleagues. Enjoy…

“Shiver Me Timbers!”
we all say,
today is Talk
Like a Pirate Day!

Whether at work,
or at the bar,
it’s always satisfying,
to let out a big “Aaaaaarh!”

So go on I dare you,
or the plank it’ll be,
talk like a pirate,
see what fun it can be!

*In todays picture I’m modeling a 1966 T shirt from the Pirate Radio Station ‘Big L’ otherwise known as Radio London, which broadcast from the MV Galaxy off the Essex Coast from 1964-1967.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Keeping Up With The Times!

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Boot PokemonOne of the signs of advanced years is the inability to keep up with modern trends and advances in lifetime skills. I am fast approaching the day when even changing the channel on the TV will be a challenge! I have tried my best to acquaint myself with modernity but I feel I’m falling behind. At last weeks Saturday car boot sale I let myself down badly…

I was chatting to a stall-holder,
when her daughter let out a great scream,
“There’s one standing beside you,
it’s the coolest that I have seen!”
No matter how hard I looked,
I was standing all alone,
I even adjusted my glasses,
nothing to see on my phone!
“It’s a Dowzee standing beside you,
I saw a Venonat there just now,
There are Pokemon all over this field,
you are so yesterday and how!”
I smiled at her mother,
a quizical smile at that,
returned to my ignorant lifestyle,
and looked for a virtual cat!

I have it on good authority that there are Pokemon’s at the Baldock Saturday Car Boot Sale. I cannot guarantee that they’ll still be there this week or if they’ll buy from your stall, I’m only repeating what I’ve been told! Oh, and apparently, a unicorn was seen a couple of weeks ago, not to mention a couple of elves and Father Christmas on holiday… Good Luck in whatever you’re searching for!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Perfect Plant Carrier!

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PlantsI always like to see people leaving our Saturday car boot sale having had a successful morning. People often ask me: “What sells?” I have to answer truthfully: “Anything that somebody else wants!”. Last week I saw a couple leaving having had a successful buy…

Bob and Jill went looking for plants,
(they’re just back from holiday in France!)
Went along to the Baldock Boot Sale,
hoping that their search wouldn’t fail!
“I like these ones!” said an excited Jill,
“but our small car will overfill”,
“Don’t worry!” said Bob (sounding all aloof!),
“You forget we have a folding roof!”

Have a great weekend filled with laughter, sunshine and friends!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Life is Like a Biscuit Tin!

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BiscuitsIsn’t life remarkable? Some days your confidence is so great that you feel you could lift the heaviest weights in the gym before breakfast using just your little finger. Other days your confidence is so low, it’s all you can do to pick up a coffee mug! Today marks my 1,299th published blog! It’s all down to biscuits in the tin…

Life is like a biscuit tin,
you only get out what you put in.
If you arrive and there’s nothing there,
it just shows that life’s not fair.
If the Bourbons have been eaten,
accept you’re late you have been beaten.
The plainest biscuits left behind,
are often reliable, solid and kind.
If often disappointment you have shown,
you know what? Buy your own!

Have a great day and enjoy those biscuits! Somewhere a farmer is glad you do!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Asylum Chaos in Calais!

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Part of the crowd of British Businessmen claiming assylum in Calais

Part of the crowd of British Businessmen claiming assylum in Calais

Thousands of British illegal immigrants have stormed the Calais mayoral office to claim asylum following last week’s UK referendum.
The businessmen, wearing bowler hats and carrying rolled umbrellas, made their point by chanting: “Excuse me, Madame Mayor, do you think we could possibly rely on your good nature to offer us asylum?” A lone policeman surrounded the protesters and was soon bombarded with offers of: ‘a nice cup of tea from my Thermos?’ ‘Marmite sandwich?’ and ‘a nice piece of fruit cake that my wife made?’
The group, smuggled into France ‘sometime in the last 48 hours’ by people smugglers, were offered shelter in a refugee camp known as ‘Jungle Deux’. One man, known as Mr Smith, told our reporter that he was looking forward to spending time in the jungle as he’d seen celebrities do it on TV and it didn’t look too bad, but wasn’t looking forward to frogs legs or snails in the ‘Tucker Challenge’. Another known as Mr Smith was hoping that his wife and extended family would be able to join him in Calais later if his bid for asylum was successful.
Government sources denied that mass emigration was underway and were at pains to stress that this was just normal holiday traffic, “Traffic levels on roads leading to cross-channel ports is consistent with the time of year,” claimed a spokesman. When our reporter asked why Operation Stack was in operation on port-bound motorways with many thousands of family cars, laden with possessions, awaiting a crossing, the spokesman called security and had him ejected from the news conference.
In other developments, calls for the closure of Aldi and a boycott of BMW, VW…cont p196

© Baldock Bard 2016

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Easy Rider (retired!)

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ScooterThe other day I watched a completely contented pensioner ride his scooter down the street. His relaxed seating position reminded me of the age-old poster for Easy Rider! Seemingly at peace with the world, for me he summed up all that was genteel back in the day, my only regret being that I only had my phone and not a camera to capture the moment…

My old man rides a scooter,
he drives it down the street,
raises his hat to passers-by,
who all think he is neat!

It’s his only mode of transport,
he thinks that it’s a horse,
He calls it Mr Ed,
(after a TV show of course!)

Some old folk drive their scooters,
chariot-riding Queen Boudicea’s,
pedestrians run to avoid them,
primeval recollection of spears!

Remember, what you judge today could be you tomorrow! Have a great day and if you’re on your scooter, stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Fishy Fishy!

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Matt Fish‘You’re never too old to learn,’ they say! This weekend I watched a friend mixing up a concoction to feed to fish in the river. What looked like bird table fat-balls were handed around for us to smell. I had no idea that fish had noses or such a developed sense of smell; perhaps the police should look into using sniffer-fish? I was further confused when I learnt that none of the well-nourished catch would be plate-bound…

Friend Matt is a fisherman,
He’s always feeding fish,
then sits on the bank for hours,
nothing for the dish!

When Matt arrives home at last,
wife Hazel shouts and flips!
wanted fish upon her plate,
he’s bought her fish and chips!

‘Happy Fishing’ to all coarse fishermen when the season opens on June 16th. May your rods always be bent under the strain of the catch!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Terminus 2066!

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PaddingtonThe other day I went down to Paddington Station in West London to collect an aged relative. On my way to spend 30p at the conveniences I looked up at the roof of this ancient monument to mass transit solutions. It led me to wonder what lay in store for rail travel in the future and which of our present customs would remain…

Will there still be antique stations,
when trains are supersonic?
Will platforms remain the same,
some arrival times still chronic?

Will the guard still blow a whistle,
even though trains automatic?
Will we alight in London,
next stop the Adriatic?

Will commuters pack like sardines,
on their way to Town?
Or will the work come to them,
still in their dressing gown!

Will it still hold a child’s wonder,
an open-mouth gasping stare,
I hope it’s still spectacular,
even though I won’t be there!

I consider myself very fortunate that I walk to work and don’t squeeze into a over-full carriage with other city-bound commuters. So for me the excitement of a train journey remains something special and reassuring in this ever-changing world.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Uncomplaining Mother!

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MotherI was mowing the lawn yesterday evening when I happened to see some slight movement under the lavender. On closer inspection it was a lonely uncomplaining hen pheasant sitting on a nest. She was perfectly camouflaged to protect both her and her eggs…

Sitting on her nest,
the mother doesn’t flinch,
when the noisy mower passes,
doesn’t budge an inch.

Where is her husband?
Nowhere to be seen,
probably in an armchair,
staring at a screen!

By the time the eggs are hatched,
she’ll be ready for some dinner,
as bringing up her children,
has left her very much thinner.

To mother’s everywhere in appreciation of what you go through for your young.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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