Category Archives: Local Interest

The Farmhouse Kettle!

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KettleAll visits to the farm whether by agronomist, accountant, neighbour or first-time visitor always seems to end up in the farmhouse kitchen. Much is discussed, both on and off original topic! The most important implement on the farm is used time and time again…

The old kitchen kettle,
sits boiling on the range,
“Fancy tea or coffee?”
The question doesn’t change!
Around the farmhouse table,
a meeting then ensues,
Perhaps discussing crops,
or woodworm in church pews!
“What weather we’ve been having,
have you seen this week’s forecast?
All the weeds in the crops,
are growing mighty fast!”
Perhaps some farming gossip,
“…didn’t know he had a brother!”
The following question,
“Would you like another!”

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Teaching in the Rain!

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Yesterday we had another school visit from a primary school in North London. It seems standard practice for the media to only sit up and take note when they can ‘bash a teacher’ citing the ‘things aren’t like they were in our day’ whinge. Just as yesterday’s children were about to leave and in the middle of the ‘Portaloo Run’, the heavens opened and we saw the best of a teacher’s care (all the others were very impressive too!)…

It takes a dedicated teacher
to stand out in the rain,
“There’s a Portoallo empty,
send a child again!”
It takes dedication,
the sort you can’t forget,
not a word of complaint
even though soaking wet!
So let’s hear it for our teachers,
bless ’em every one,
Don’t only excel in the rain,
but also in the sun!

With many thanks to all the teachers who have brought their classes to the farm over the years. The future is in your hands and from where I am sitting it’s looking exceptionally bright.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Fishy Fishy!

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Matt Fish‘You’re never too old to learn,’ they say! This weekend I watched a friend mixing up a concoction to feed to fish in the river. What looked like bird table fat-balls were handed around for us to smell. I had no idea that fish had noses or such a developed sense of smell; perhaps the police should look into using sniffer-fish? I was further confused when I learnt that none of the well-nourished catch would be plate-bound…

Friend Matt is a fisherman,
He’s always feeding fish,
then sits on the bank for hours,
nothing for the dish!

When Matt arrives home at last,
wife Hazel shouts and flips!
wanted fish upon her plate,
he’s bought her fish and chips!

‘Happy Fishing’ to all coarse fishermen when the season opens on June 16th. May your rods always be bent under the strain of the catch!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Alien in the Dentist’s Light!

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Dentist LightLying in the dentist’s chair yesterday, looking up at the inspection lamp, I realised that if aliens wanted to see man at his most vulnerable they should infiltrate that light. Many people hate going to the dentist and put off the evil day. I find that whenever I’ve been, the care shown is such, that the fear vanishes and I’m left wondering what the fuss was all about…

I went to the dentist,
she said “Are you well?”
I said “It’s my tooth,
it’s hurting like Hell!”

She said “Let me look,
Oh yes! I can see,
this may feel uncomfortable,
open wide for me!”

After the injection,
she started to dig around,
I didn’t feel a thing,
but didn’t like the sound!

Suddenly it was over,
I rinsed the taste away,
Her parting words to me,
“Back on Thursday!”

The alien in the light,
reporting back from earth,
“She was too kind to him,
observation had no worth!”

With many thanks to my dentist for making the time in her chair as pain-free as possible.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Nature’s Bridesmaids Dress

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IMG_6204We have a wonderful Flowering Cherry in the back yard. Despite being out of view of most visitors to the farm, it is the most wonderful example of this tree that we have. There is also a fine example in our local churchyard, however despite being perfect for weddings, it’s finery is over very quickly…

The Flowering Cherry wears a bridesmaids dress,
as if at a wedding,
doesn’t wear it very long,
as soon it will be shedding,

Once it lies upon the floor,
confetti covered ground,
be forgotten for anther year,
like the dress it’s cupboard-bound!
Blossom 2If you’re off to a wedding this weekend, have a wonderful time!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Busy Shop!

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Busy ShopYesterday afternoon Mrs Bard saw a giant construction kit in a store. Priced at only £20, it seemed to be the perfect imagination-fostering toy for our three-and-a-half year old granddaughter. By teatime they had made a shop which my granddaughter named her ‘Busy’ shop…

In our kitchen is a ‘busy’ shop,
there are things to buy,
we’re already looking,
for the remote controller for Sky!
There are assorted items,
for sale to my wife and me,
let’s just hope I have loose change,
or there’ll be no coffee!

If you have children, hide this from them as I don’t want to be blamed for lost car keys, pets or food! Have a great day and enjoy imagination (even at your desk, why not sell a colleague something of theirs!).

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Coach without Horses!

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CoachWhat a Bank Holiday weekend! For once the sun shone for most of the weekend allowing for a sunny car boot sale! Afterwards Mrs Bard and I took off to a boat to relax (end of quarter accounts, VAT and catch up on paperwork!). Yesterday evening many people were travelling…

A very large coach drives over the bridge,
on Bank Holiday Monday evening,
going from Oxford ending in Cambridge,
two veritable centres of reading!

Over the bridge is the Bridge Hotel,
Where coach and horses once stopped,
now a place where modern coaches just pass,
used by tourists and those who’ve just shopped.

The swans don’t look up at the shiny new coach,
they simply continue to float,
they’ve no idea of the stress in our lives:
If they did they’d probably gloat!

Have a great Tuesday that feels like a Monday and acts like a petulant child that seeks attention!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Field Store!

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Field StoreLast Saturday we welcomed back some old friends who had travelled over an hour to come to the car boot sale I run at Baldock. Every time they set up a stall it is not only different but a jaw-dropping display that could grace the windows in Harrods, Macys, or any other top-class store anywhere in the world. Sometimes it’s a whole room display, sometimes it’s themed, but always it’s imaginative, artistic and breath-taking…

A couple come to the boot sale from Northampton,
they have an unusual stall,
the perfect display, just for the day,
much to the delight of us all.
First go up the windbreaks,
and small tables, scattered around,
there’s always a theme it’s got to be seen,
a stunning display on the ground!
Time goes into the placement,
the items for sale you can’t ignore.
The stunning display takes your breath away,
It’s as good as any large store.

The photo doesn’t do it justice I’m afraid. Like my school report I must do better next time. (and ask their names!)

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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‘Storm Baldock!’

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Boat SaleI have a sense of deja-vu this morning. It’s five in the morning and I’m manning the phone lines, just like last Saturday, to tell customers that the boot sale has had to be called off due to a very wet Friday. As I sit waiting, my mind wanders and I come up with new uses for the field…

Having a wet and waterlogged field,
poses a problem not seen before,
new unusual diversification,
if the rain continues to pour:

We could hold a swimming gala,
breast stroke, butterfly and crawl,
where to put the many spectators?
they’d have to sit in the pool!

Filming ‘Peppa Pig – The Movie’
would give a director many troubles,
until he shouts into his megaphone:
“Let’s all jump in muddy puddles!”

What about the biggest bathtub?
Plughole cordoned off by rope,
foam, excitement and much splashing,
“Has anybody seen the soap?”

Even in the worst scenario,
if the drainage were to fail,
floating down the Baldock Bypass,
seven Tall-Ships in full sail!

Boating seems the obvious answer,
powered by motor, oars or sail,
so next week you might find us,
holding a weekly car boat sale!
IMG_5748Hope you have a happy (and dry) weekend wherever you are and get to spend it with those you love.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday (weather permitting!)
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Wonderful Mother Nature?

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Being a farmer, apparently closer to nature than most, I am supposed to hold Mother Nature in high esteem. Mostly I do; the seasons come along like buses, animals and birds reproduce in the spring and harvest has always followed planting. However I think there are some areas where nature has slipped up, one of these I don’t understand…

Being now old in advancing years,
I have a question: Why growing ears?
Those silly flappy bits, are growing every year,
yet they don’t seem to help in making me hear.
They’ll soon be big enough to be seen in a zoo,
please don’t laugh it may happen to you,
there is only one purpose or so I am told,
they’ll hide my hearing aids when I’m very old!

Enjoy your day. Pardon? What did you say, I didn’t quite catch that, my ears got in the way!
Due to a fault in the operating system I’m having to use a library picture. This shows a volunteer attempting to measure my outsize ears. No animals were harmed in this process.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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