A Norfolk Wedding!

Posted on September 28, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

On Saturday Mrs Bard and I went to a wedding in Norfolk. As in the script, everything went to plan; the bride looked beautiful, the Groom handsome, and the Best Man’s speech didn’t make Aunt Flo’s hair stand on end. The food was divine, the surroundings perfectly manicured and passing boaters on the Norfolk Broads jealous! Now that the guests have scattered to the four corners of the world, all that are left are memories…

I went to a wedding in Norfolk,
a typically British affair.
A marquee erected in the garden,
(expected Hugh Grant to be there!)
The cake was a towering structure,
Icing roses adorning the base,
Had they slipped with the sword when cutting,
would have been fruit all over the place!
But everything went so smoothly,
all bathed in brightest sunshine,
It’s the perfect start to a marriage,
May Annabelle and Phil’s union shine.

© Baldock Bard 2015
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SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
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The Happy Shopper!

Posted on September 18, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

We have many compliments about our car boot sale. Some say that it is the friendliest, some say it’s welcoming and some say what’s on offer is generally of good quality. We also have many customers who can’t speak but who endorse our sales by their actions…

A terrier came to our boot sale,
and much to his owner’s surprise,
chose a fluffy toy,
and carried it like a prize!

By the end of the week,
left of the toy was none,
so back to the Saturday boot sale,
to buy another one!

The Bank Holiday Funfair

Posted on August 31, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Sick of the stop-start harvest, and fed up with looking at wheat soaking up rain out in the fields, Mrs Bard and I made for a riverside abode over the Bank Holiday. A funfair, dragon-boat racing and fireworks were to be the ideal distraction from the soggy farm. Saturday’s drowning of a 40-year-old father of three young children, as he swam to retrieve a football, put life sharply into prospective. The soggy fields were forgotten, the charity dragon boat racing was cancelled along with the fireworks and the funfair was left to spend a damp and long weekend with little reward…

The funfair stays,
bedraggled by Bank Holiday weather;
damp rides, damp showmen,
and dampened spirits.

Flowers accumulate,
at the riverside in memory,
of a father of three small children,
who slipped under the water,
not yards from the riverbank.

For the family left behind,
life is not fun,
nor is it fair.

Our thoughts are for the family and friends of James Griffin, RIP.

© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Teaspoon of Life!

Posted on August 26, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Is your glass half full or half empty this morning? Chances are that if you’re a farmer looking out onto damp fields you might think the latter while reality suggests the former! I was moping about worrying about damp crops still in the field when suddenly I remembered that there was a large heap of dry grain in the barn, tipping out the washing-up-bowl also brought good news, so it looks like it’s going to be a good day…

There’s always a teaspoon left in the sink,
Just shout ‘Hurrah!” and make yourself a drink!
While you’re waiting for the kettle to boil,
Think of a positive in your daily toil.
If there’s no positive or none you can think,
At least you’ve an extra teaspoon found in the sink!

Have a great day and watch out for those lucky teaspoons in your life!

Dolly Worries About Her Mummy!

Posted on August 25, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Dolly the horse lives at the farm. Her ‘mummy’, Charlotte, swam the Channel a year ago. Dolly wondered what she’d do next. Last weekend it was Paris, however as expected, not the easy way…

Dolly was in a trance
When Charlie swam to France
“They do have ferries
As hedgerows have berries
She’s led me a merry dance!”

“This year to Paris she went
With a bicycle but not a tent!
Could have gone by car
or Eurostar!
But cycled with charitable intent”

“What is she next to do?
Hang-glide in darkest Peru?
I would be frantic
If she rowed the Atlantic
What’s a poor horse to do?”

If you are feeling generous please support the riders who are raising money for the Willow Foundation. It’s really easy! Text XBES62 £5 to 7070 or click this link to donate http://www.justgiving.com/Passport-Peleton?utm_id=26
Please donate – Dolly says Thank You!

The Blue and Yellow Taxi!

Posted on August 6, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

I spotted an unusual taxi parked in a taxi rank the other day. It was obviously ready for an urgent fare as it had blue lights and reflective bodywork. Later on I saw it rushing through town to deliver a passenger to an urgent meeting…

It’s a taxi for the criminal,
it’s a taxi for the bad,
when you are a passenger,
you know that you’ve been had!

Using a Rusty Brain!

Posted on July 16, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

I am on part two of the training to become a recognized UAV (or drone) pilot. This involves writing an Operators Manual that will be sent for approval to the CAA (Civil Aviation Authority). In these days of ‘copy-it-from-internet’ exams it is refreshing, but daunting, to read the warning from the guidelines: IF YOU SUBMIT THESE GUIDELINES WITHOUT MODIFYING FOR YOUR OPERATIONS YOUR OPERATORS MANUAL WILL BE REJECTED. Hence hours spent thinking and writing, much to the disgust of my rusty ancient brain…

My brain needs extra capacity,
an external drive attached,
because I’m having to use it,
Operations Manual hatched!
It’s taken most of the week,
to write this forty-plus page tome,
I’ve burn the midnight oil,
no time to fly the drone!
But soon it will be finished,
out of the dark I’ll be,
Mrs Bard will ask who I am,
I’ll reply, “It’s only me!”

© Baldock Bard 2015
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The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Missing Bracelet!

Posted on July 15, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Have you ever been given something and almost immediately mislaid it? Was the fact that it was missing noticed by the donor? How much trouble were you in? Not as much trouble as I was in yesterday…

My Granddaughter made me a bracelet,
it was tied tight to my wrist,
somewhere during the day,
it fell off and was missed!
I tried to blame the dog,
and the cat we didn’t own,
but I’m in deeper trouble,
so I’m searching all over home.
I tried to calm the situation,
with a bag of bright jelly sweets,
now she’s off the ceiling,
and about to call the police!
Those terrible two’s are with us,
soon it will be the threes,
I wish I could find the bracelet,
before it ruins my knees!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Posing for an Owlie!

Posted on July 14, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

One of the best sights on the farm is to watch a barn owl flying in a meadow. It always seems as if he will fall from the sky any minute as his flight is so slow and almost cumbersome. He also looks most un-aerodynamic. However when he sits on the branch of a tree it is a magnificent sight…

Oh Mr Owl are you as clever as they always say?
Portrayed as the teacher back in the day!
Yet as I watch your awkward flight gait,
I know there are voles awaiting their fate.
So Mr Owl, please sit still for a mo,
pose for an ‘owlie’, then off you can go!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Things Are Looking Up!

Posted on July 1, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Do you find that sometimes it takes somebody else to make you appreciate what you see daily but ignore? Last week I did a UAV course in Newcastle that covered Meteorology and clouds. Ever since schooldays and geography lessons I have ignored the subject. Sion, our instructor last week, spread his enthusiasm around as a gardener might do manure on favourite roses. Now, after some forty-five years since the classroom, I am in danger of falling flat on my face as I re-discover the beauty of the skies…

Oh good grief! What a surprise,
I’ve rediscovered cloudy skies!
They must have been always there,
But now I tend to stop and stare!

From Cumulo-Nimbus,
such bad boys!
Torrential rain,
horrendous noise!

To highest level Cirrus see,
Nature’s beauty just for me!
If you see me looking, eyes open wide,
Please take my hand, lead me inside!

If having read this, you look up and trip over the garden rake that you meant to put away yesterday, please don’t blame me! Have a great day and look up! You may also want to visit https://cloudappreciationsociety.org/ Thanks Sion! (pron: Shaun)

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Local Interest

A Norfolk Wedding!

The Happy Shopper!

The Bank Holiday Funfair

The Teaspoon of Life!

Dolly Worries About Her Mummy!

The Blue and Yellow Taxi!

Using a Rusty Brain!

The Missing Bracelet!

Posing for an Owlie!

Things Are Looking Up!