Category Archives: Local Interest

Making A New Friend!

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Yesterday we had a family day out to celebrate daughter Siân’s birthday. Her daughter, Marsya decided we were to see dinosaurs, along with Monkey her constant companion. As everybody knows, the best place to do that is in the Natural History Museum in London. We came away with something we didn’t expect…

In a traffic jam in Knightsbridge,
Marsya’s Monkey let out a scream:
“There’s a dinosaur in the back seat,
the most frightening that I’ve seen!
What will we do if it starts to roar?
I’m off to hide upon the floor!”

By the time we were out of London,
Marsya’s Monkey had calmed down,
“What do you mean it’s pretend like me?”
he said with a quizzical frown.
Now this morning they are best friends,
(they come from the same gene pool,)
and in a Tesco bag for life…
…they’re both off to nursery school!

Have a great day and make a new friend out there (or just get in touch with an old one!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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A Birthday Story!

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All of us who are lucky enough to have children, have a ‘birthday story’. Here is one of ours!
6th February 1984
The previous evening Mrs Bard filled a small suitcase while I filled the snowplough with diesel and put out my thermal clothes! Early the following morning, contractions announced the start of labour while a torch showed no snow! So we piled into our small green Talbot hatch-back and set out for the maternity unit in Hitchin. We saw not a living soul on the journey except for a small black rabbit on the outskirts of Letchworth, who seemed to give us the finger for disturbing its early morning routine.
Once at the maternity unit (now Waitrose!) we were quickly shown into the delivery room. Within five minutes I was on the floor! When I came round I had three nurses undressing me and Mrs Bard was complaining “leave him on the floor, I’m having a baby!”
All went well and our little girl came into the world.
Later I fetched her big brother, David, to meet his sister and the obligatory photo was taken, although in the days before selfies, not everyone was in the picture.
Yesterday, 33 years later, I found the faded photograph and remembered the story of how Sian came into this world. What strikes me is the look of wonder on David’s face, he was a very proud brother.
I was an emotional and proud father then, nothing has changed (apart from promising Mrs Bard I’d never wear thermals again, time has seen me forgiven for being a total prat!).
Happy birthday Sian, I’m so proud of you, with all my love.

Baldock Bard

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Slow Goose-Step!

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geesesOur guard-geese are behaving strangely again! Yesterday they attempted to impede a friends progress down the drive, which she filmed and posted. A comment suggested that it was because they were in no hurry to get to the farm because of the impending Christmas. I would suggest it’s because they are old, tough and awkward…

Christmas is coming,
the geese don’t give a damn,
they know they’re too tough,
and we’ll be eating ham!
They hold up the traffic,
on the drive to the farm,
they’re on a goose go-slow,
no sense of alarm.
After Christmas,
they’ll still act loud and shirty,
thanking their god,
they’re geese and not turkey!

With thanks to Dolly’s mummy for the picture and inspiration!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Truck Causes Chaos and Joy!

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coca-cola-truckLast night I drove into Baldock to see the Coca-Cola Truck. Yes! I know I’m bonkers, but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. The town was gridlocked and I began to rehearse my old-man’s ‘Bah Humbug’ routine. I managed to park and walked over towards the Coca-Cola truck. It was rather like walking in a vast crowd towards a football stadium, except for the number of excited children (by the time we arrived at the truck I was excited too!)…

The Coca-Cola truck’s in town,
the traffic’s gridlocked all around,
but once you see the children’s amazes,
you’ll put away those Grinch-like faces!
Because as all have come to know,
children’s Christmas is Santa and snow,
and I should recon for many a year,
they’ll remember when ‘The Truck’ was here!

I realize it is a clever marketing ploy, but to see the joyous faces of the children of Baldock was wonderful!
coke-truck2© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Difference ‘Twixt Grass and Wheat!

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deer4JPGOne of my favourite occupations is to sit at the window, look across towards the wood, and watch wild deer graze the meadow. The other day, (just before the Mavic drone nested in a tree), I was watching a small herd of deer grazing wheat. This was in a field that used to be temporary grassland in an environmental scheme. So despite the damage I cannot be cross as they obviously thought I’d re-drilled a different type of grass…

The deer took no notice,
of the buzzing drone above;
it might just as well have been Santa,
or a peaceful collar-dove!
They just continued munching,
on my emerging wheat,
I was torn between,
admitting joy or just defeat!
They are such peaceful creatures,
who wander through our farm,
they seek shelter in our woods,
I’ll not do them any harm.

The only reassurance I repeat:
Please eat my grass and not my wheat!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Urgent Upgrade For: Daughter App!

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matiParents who have downloaded the app: DAUGHTER, are advised to install this latest update. This includes a short guide to dealing with a new virus that could turn your lovely, beautiful, charming darling into a snarling spiteful monster when a particular ‘software’ request goes unheeded…

Various methods to diagnose the presence of ‘WANT PUPPY!’ in your daughter:

  1. Drop the word ‘PUPPY’ into conversation …Observe reaction.
  1. Unveil picture of ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.
  1. Check internet browsing history for ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.
  1. Check cellphone for message including ‘PUPPY’ …Observe reaction.

Don’t fall for light discussion regarding ‘PUPPY’, it is dangerous and could lead to…

THE NEXT STAGE

These vital signs shouldn’t be missed:

  1. The Plea: “Can we go and see a PUPPY?”
  1. The Excuse: “We don’t have to have the first PUPPY we see!”
  1. The Bluff: “We’ll just be looking at PUPPY!”

It is important that before you go to “just look” at PUPPY you check for unusual signs:

  • For the first time ever there is a hidden blanket in the car and snow is not forecast for the next few months.
  • Tins of food with PUPPY on the label have appeared in the cupboard next to the breakfast cereal.
  • PUPPY MONTHLY suddenly appears on the mat alongside the daily newspaper.
  • The neighbours have started erecting a dog-proof fence.
  • The council sends six men in high-vis to attach a dog-poo bin to the lamppost outside your house.
  • Old newspapers have been hoarded in the garage rather than being put out with the recycling.

Ignore these vital signs at your peril as ignorance could lead to…

THE FINAL OUTCOME…

You find yourself with

ONE OF THESE…

puppy…A PUPPY!

It’s cute, it’s soft, it’s charming and lovely… just like your daughter!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Ploughing Match

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ploughing-matchThese days farmers have a choice of cultivation methods to choose from. There’s No-Till where seeds are planted by the drill into stubble, Min-Till where only light cultivations precede the drill and finally the traditional Plough-cultivate-drill. The plough is now seldom seen in action on the farm. It’s expensive in both wearing parts, fuel and most of all, time. Ironically I’ve done more ploughing this year than ever before, but then, what do I know about anything? The skill of ploughing is maintained by the countryside’s hidden sport of the Ploughing Match. Friend Ian took along his vintage crawler tractor and plough (my plough stayed at home so I didn’t advertise my lack of skill!)…

The art of the ploughman is kept alive,
when to the ploughing match tractors arrive.
They plough an opening furrow long and straight,
this is then judged a nerve-wracking wait.
Then off to the neighbour’s furrow in with the plough,
and slowly start ploughing, is it level now?
Adjustments are made to furrow, width and pitch,
concentrate now and stop before ditch!
The last furrow should match up well with your first,
then it’s off to the beer tent to satisfy your thirst!

With thanks to Ian and Charlotte for the photo, and best of luck to the winners who go onto the next level. I shall return to my plough and pretend I have the skill.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Friends Found!

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On September 29th I wrote about a couple who were emigrating from Bedfordshire to Bournemouth http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=8791 As the days progressed and the last car boot sale of the season drew ever closer I began to panic. Would I find them to let them see the posting? Would they appear out of the blue? Would I ever see them again? They had became a couple that epitomised the friendly face of the Baldock Saturday Boot Sale…

Last Saturday, on the very last sale of the season, there they were! Not only that but after the sale was over they sent an e-mail that out-barded the Bard. So for the first time (hopefully not the last), pray silence for our guest writers of the day, Dawn and Ray (aka the Talls), formerly of Clifton, Beds, soon to be of Bournemouth, Hants…

Each Saturday before dawn breaks
The Baldock Bard cheerily wakes
A hop and a skip to the coffee and toast
Then down to the field to let in the host…
Of sellers who’ve come to dispense of their wares
They look at the weather and utter their prayers.
‘It’s Simon’ they yell, ‘all’s well with the world’,
As they head for the field like the Dervish who whirled.
He stops for a chat with each one he greets
No favourites has he, no time for elites
Once everyone’s settled he’s off on his rounds
To part the good punters from their hard earned pounds.
Please take no offence, we think you’re a smasher
The lord of the manor, the King of his pasture
And as we depart for lands by the sea
Dawn and Ray wish you well, and we will guarantee
That if ever to Baldock we venture to shoot
We’ll spend a few hours at your famous car boot.

From Dawn and Ray aka ‘The Talls’.

Looks Like I’m going to up my game with competition of this standard! Look out Bournemouth, the lovely Dawn and Ray are on their way!

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Up Before The Lark!

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DCIM100MEDIADJI_0041.JPGFor the last time this year I am up before the lark on a Saturday morning. My normal ‘Bed By Nine – I’ll Be Fine’ rule was broken last night as I was ploughing into the night in an attempt to finish the field – Big mistake! The bed would’t let me go this morning and I am drinking a bucket of coffee in an attempt to resume normal service…

It’s Saturday morning,
just after five,
for the last time this year,
I’ll dash down the drive.
The alarm woke me up,
with a shriek at four-thirty,
I grabbed another half hour,
it was too early!
My customers await,
for me to open the gate,
all hell will break loose,
if I should be late!
For the last time this year,
to meet on Saturday,
Old friends will meet
“Happy Christmas” they’ll say!

To everyone who has joined us on a Saturday morning, whether in person or spirit, we wish you a very Happy Christmas and look forward to seeing you again next year!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Birthday Party!

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DCIM100MEDIADJI_0010.JPG

Yesterday the garden echoed to shrieks of joy from twenty-five pirates and princesses at my granddaughters fourth birthday party. What a wonderful sound, it is surely the greatest reward for a garden to be a place of innocent pleasure at an innocent age. I’m only sorry that the temperature wasn’t slightly warmer for the adults who bravely stood around while their charges rushed about and didn’t notice the slight chill…

Birthday parties haven’t changed much,
since when I was young,
children rush around the garden,
shouting and having fun!
Then the sandwiches appear,
squash at table places,
the birthday cake is passed around,
leaving creamy icing faces!
It’s back on the bouncy castle,
more time to rush around,
before young heads begin to droop,
tired and exhausted, home-bound!

Pirates and princesses reach their homes,
remember, just four years old,
They seek their beds without complaint,
without even being told!
…and so did an elderly ‘Bard-Pirate!’ (having been told off by a certain four-year-old for not dressing up enough!)

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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