The Missing Keys!

Posted on August 30, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

The other day my keys went missing. At the same time I was looking after my twenty-two-month-old granddaughter. At first I refused to believe that the two events were linked. However as time passed she became the prime suspect…

I’ve lost my keys,
Where can they be?
I’m sure I had,
Them here with me!

I came indoors,
I had them then,
I went back out,
To feed the hen!

I went upstairs,
Granddaughter to bed,
For morning nap,
and story read!

I cleared her toys,
From the floor,
Didn’t have keys,
Anymore!

Made a coffee,
Tried to think,
Even looked,
In the sink!

From the basket,
Musical noise!
She’d hidden keys,
beneath her toys!
© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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Back To Smarties!

Posted on August 12, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I bought a tube of Smarties for what must be the first time since my daughter was at primary school. In the intervening twenty-odd years much has changed. Gone is the round tube with its collectable coloured and lettered plastic top. As for the contents of the new unimaginative colapsible hexagonal package…

Whatever’s happened to Smarties
I heard myself refrain
They say they’re the best taste
Yet they don’t taste the same

Their taste is unexciting
Colour no longer six
They are almost bad enough
To be sold from ‘Pick and Mix’

I know that I’m an oldie
And oldies must complain
But bring back original Smarties
This change is just a shame!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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We Shall Remember Them

Posted on July 29, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

On July 20^th 1914, my grandfather started harvesting winter oats. He employed 23 men on the farm and most work was done by hand. It took a week to cut and cart 60 acres of oats. By the end of 1918 three of those men lay in unknown graves in Northern France.
Today we are starting our harvest 100 years later. By the end of today, three of us should have cut and carted to store 52 acres worth of oats.

Maurice Barnes, aged 34, died 23^rd April 1917
Albert Presland, aged 23, died 12^th March 1915
Harry Hollingsworth, aged 28, died 3^rd August 1916

At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning,
We shall remember them.
© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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Abandoned Rose in the River

Posted on July 22, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I was in a riverside pub garden recently when something colourful caught my eye. In an eddy behind a fallen tree, amongst the takeaway cartons, garden trimmings and general surface scum, was a single abandoned red rose. How it arrived there and why it had been rejected in such a startling manner, I could only imagine…

In the pub garden, by a river, the young couple sat,
watching the boats and stroking a cat!
The young man wondered, ‘when shall I ask?’
The girl gripped her vodka, her face a stone mask.
In a carrier by his feet, with some romantic prose,
a small dark blue box and a single red rose.

He dropped to one knee, holding rose and ring,
she hissed, “get up now, you ‘effin-daft thing!”
Without looking back, she made a dash for the door,
Leaving him certain, he would see her no more.
Ring back in his pocket, he flung the rose far,
into the river and walked alone to his car.

May you live in interesting times!

Posted on July 9, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

It is alleged that Confucius said ‘May you live in interesting times.’ Nobody said whether this was a threat or a promise! Last night Mrs Bard and I changed TV channel just in time to see Germany score a World Cup goal against Brazil. Ten minutes later, having watched a further four hit the back of the Brazilian net, we sat open-mouthed and stunned. How many of you checked the score this morning to check you hadn’t been dreaming…

Brazil one, Germany seven,
(Could very well have been eleven!)
“May you live in interesting times!”
Disbelief can disrupt sometimes.
The shock defeat of the age,
Will footballers go back to minimum wage?
Will everything we know be different now?
Leave us shocked and wondering how.
Will politicians start to tell the truth
And everything work via Bluetooth?
Will traffic wardens forget to fine,
Supermarkets saying: “pay next time!”
Who knows what the future might bring,
We may even see Charles as King?
Thoughts of change makes me feel ill,
What if England could beat Brazil?

Mr Blue Sky!

Posted on July 7, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Sometimes a sad day can be uplifting. Last Thursday Mrs Bard and I went to a funeral of a fireman. Nigel was a kind, decent, gentle-man and his funeral service reflected these attributes. There were so many people at the crematorium to celebrate his life that we spilled out of the door and down the drive. A poignant moment was the playing of ELO’s ‘Mr Blue Sky’, a most fitting accolade for a man who will be very missed…

Sometimes
Through the cloudy sky
We are shown a glimpse
Of somewhere else

And we are reminded
That maybe
Just maybe
There is something better
Waiting
Just waiting
Elsewhere.

Waving At Aircraft!

Posted on June 30, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Have you ever lain on your back on a hot summer’s day, looked up at the sky and wondered where that plane is going? The other day I watched a contrail from the garden. I pointed my phone at the sky and discovered though an app (PF AR) that it was carrying freight from Mineapplois to Stansted. If I was able to do that with my i-phone, how could someone with more resources ‘lose’ an aircraft…

In lay on my back
Looked up to the sky
Watching an aircraft
And wondering why
It leaves a trail
Wherever it’s been
Although sometimes
This cannot be seen

Then I wondered
About that Malaysian plane
Where it could be
Will it be seen again
The news is now silent,
The press have moved on
And nobody knows
Where it has gone

All of those relations
Of the passengers lost
How must they feel
When they count the cost
Of families parted
Never seen again
Because the authorities
Can’t find just one plane

Memories at Offord Lock!

Posted on June 28, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Is there a place you know that forever reminds you of somebody?
Mrs Bard and I were on the River Great Ouse in Cambridgeshire this week. On a narrow-boat the top speed is around 4mph and so there is plenty of ‘thinking time’ as you steer a path that in a car would take minutes, but by boat takes hours. There are also locks to negotiate that can add considerably to journey time. It is one of these locks that will forever remind me of a friend who left us two years ago today.
Marsya and her husband Tony were with us for the weekend and we had to go through Offord Lock on our journey. While we were working the lock, I watched Marsya go over to a small table where there were cakes for sale in aid of charity. I took a couple of snapshots, not professional photographs, just holiday snaps!

This week, travelling through the same small countryside lock, I remembered that insignificant moment (woman buys cakes from table!) and thought of Marsya. Then I trawled through my un-catalogued digital-drawer to find the photos.
I post them this morning for two reasons. Firstly, to remember a great friend, who is sorely missed by all who had the great fortune to meet and know her. Secondly, as a reminder to us all, to enjoy and rejoice at those small insignificant moments when they happen, as they may turn out to be more important than they might seem at the time.
Enjoy a great weekend

Baldock Bard

Fergus, the Largest Duck in all the World!

Posted on May 24, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

To our ducks on the pond, new-arrival Fergus is the largest duck in all the world. He arrived the other evening from Langford, Bedfordshire, where he used to live with his wife Sydney and her sister Bridget (both named after the structure in Sydney Harbour). The ducks on our pond were speechless when he arrived, but soon succumbed to his charms…

Fergus was unhappy,
His wife had passed away,
And he was ever so lonely,
Miserable every day.
We drove up to Langford,
When contacted by phone,
Said Fergus’s Mum and Dad:
“He’s pining on his own.”
So now he’s on our pond,
With our motley crew,
There’s Balduck, an Indian Runner,
And a white duck from Norfolk too!
They welcomed their new friend,
The girls said “Want a ride?”
You’re the largest duck we’ve ever seen,
Come swim by our side!
© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
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Remembering my Mother on Mother’s Day…

Posted on March 31, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day here in the UK…

I was thinking about how many people no longer had mothers to thank on ‘Mothers Day’.
I suddenly remembered with great clarity, the last time I saw my mother.
I was spending three months in County Cork while my wife did a cookery course at the world-famous Ballymaloe Cookery School.
My mother and father flew over for a week to visit. I showed them all around County Cork sharing the places I’d discovered. The week was soon over and it was time to see them off at the airport.
The departure gate at Cork Airport is upstairs in the terminal and I carried their case on the escalator. Then we parted at the gate.
On my way down the escalator I suddenly had this very clear vision that I’d never see my mother again. In vain I tried to climb the down escalator, having to resort to continuing to the bottom and then running up the one going up. When I reached the top needless to say they had disappeared from view.
Four weeks later my mother suffered a fatal stroke while tidying up her grandson’s grave. Although I saw her in the hospital back home just before she died, I still consider that my ‘true goodbye’ was at Cork Airport.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mum.

Your Son,

Baldock Bard.