Category Archives: Past Times

Hibernating Hornets!

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The other day I was splitting wood on the log splitter. Part of the tree that I was splitting was rotten to the point where the wood under a part of the bark could have been described as being ‘earthy’. It was in one of these sections that I discovered hibernating hornets. This discovery led me to ponder my previous meeting with these vicious insects…

Many years ago on the island of Malta,
A young cadet’s future did nearly falter.
Out on the range grasping a sub-machine gun,
I didn’t see the hornet but was stung on the bum!

“Safety catch off” was my last fainting shout,
as I slid to the floor I had passed out,
The machine gun on auto I didn’t hear,
As bullets screamed past the surprised sergeant’s ear!

So when I found hornets while splitting firewood,
I dispatched the hibernators, as I knew I should.
To safeguard my family when in front of the fire,
no guilt did I feel remembering that ancient live fire!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

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SG7 6RD
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BACK AFTER EASTER
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Tony and Doris!

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We had some friends to stay. One of them had served time at a college for journalists in the seventies near the town of Harlow. We decided to share his reminiscences and visit some of his old haunts near Sawbridgeworth. Strangely enough this included a rather attractive pub. Suitably refreshed we made an acquaintance with Doris who was just passing at the time…

When sharing varied memories of a student past,
others in the room just see today!
Journalistic recollections make a good article,
papers are now free no need to pay!
All of a sudden in the middle of a sentence,
the lights in the bar began to blink,
out in the car park leaves began to rustle,
“Is that Storm Doris do you think?”
Hightailing it back to Baldock reminiscence over,
trees on local roads begin to fall,
roads are impassable media is excitable,
Have things changed? He doesn’t think much at all!
Hope you have a great weekend untroubled by wind!
If you want good food and great service and you’re in the Sawbridgeworth area, why not try The Thatchers, Hatfield Heath, CM22 7DU? We did and we’ll go back once the wind has dropped! https://www.thethatcherspub.com

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Yeti Generation!

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I have noticed that amongst those newly-retired of my generation there is a tendency to drive a make of car that thirty years ago would have not been considered. The new darling of the Sixty-plus is the Skoda Yeti. Nearing retirement, get your order in now…

We’re the Yeti Generation,
we remember better times!
Sunny summer days,
and poetry that rhymes.
Now many are retired,
we enjoy a scotch and soda!
And of course its obligatory,
we have to drive a Skoda!

Pensions at the ready folks, follow the trend to the Czech Republic!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Using Your Oko!

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The first time I heard the phrase ‘Get your Oko up’ was when I worked on a Cambridgeshire farm in the seventies. The phrase meant to use anger to accomplish a job that was either unpleasant or needed extra strength. Yesterday I had one of those jobs to do and used anger to help me…

I had some sawn up logs to move,
nobody near – nothing to prove,
and so I needed extra strength,
for large cut rounds and corded length

Before I started a cold-call rude,
helped to put me in the mood,
and as I lifted the heavy wood,
my back was questioning if I should!

I remembered something that made me cross,
the wood became light as candy floss!
All I can say it goes to show,
use up that Oko you’ll be nice to know!

Have a good day and use that Oko to the best effect!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Snowman!

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Yesterday my daughter and granddaughter made a snowman. There hadn’t been a great fall and so much energy was expounded in rolling two great snowballs for a great distance around the garden. However by midday the head had fallen off and the fine gentleman was on the way to becoming a mere memory.

The 12th of February is a date that evokes sad memories for our family. It was on this day, just before midnight, that we had that dreaded knock on the door and a policeman bearing the news that our son, David, had been killed in a car crash at the age of just 22.

I suspect there are some lucky people, who haven’t experienced this situation, who may consider that after 14 years we should ‘be over it by now’ as don’t they say ‘time is a great healer‘? Well I guess that in my case time doesn’t heal, it just makes the memories harder to recall and the ‘what may have been’ all the more difficult to comprehend. It also makes you realise that there are things in life that are more precious than money or material possessions.

Every time I see in the media that a youngster has lost his/her life in a car my thoughts are for the family who are about to embark on one of the hardest journeys they’ll ever face. They will miss the opportunity to say a final few words and this will haunt them for years. However if, like us, they had said the simple words ‘Love You‘ at the end of every phone call or parting, then they would know that their last words to their child were special.

Like the snowman, it is up to us to enjoy the life we have and be thankful for every day, because we never know when the thaw might come!

With love and best wishes to you all.
Love You David
BB
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

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A Birthday Story!

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All of us who are lucky enough to have children, have a ‘birthday story’. Here is one of ours!
6th February 1984
The previous evening Mrs Bard filled a small suitcase while I filled the snowplough with diesel and put out my thermal clothes! Early the following morning, contractions announced the start of labour while a torch showed no snow! So we piled into our small green Talbot hatch-back and set out for the maternity unit in Hitchin. We saw not a living soul on the journey except for a small black rabbit on the outskirts of Letchworth, who seemed to give us the finger for disturbing its early morning routine.
Once at the maternity unit (now Waitrose!) we were quickly shown into the delivery room. Within five minutes I was on the floor! When I came round I had three nurses undressing me and Mrs Bard was complaining “leave him on the floor, I’m having a baby!”
All went well and our little girl came into the world.
Later I fetched her big brother, David, to meet his sister and the obligatory photo was taken, although in the days before selfies, not everyone was in the picture.
Yesterday, 33 years later, I found the faded photograph and remembered the story of how Sian came into this world. What strikes me is the look of wonder on David’s face, he was a very proud brother.
I was an emotional and proud father then, nothing has changed (apart from promising Mrs Bard I’d never wear thermals again, time has seen me forgiven for being a total prat!).
Happy birthday Sian, I’m so proud of you, with all my love.

Baldock Bard

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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The Sign Of Old Age!

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The other day I had a family outing to Luton. I hear you saying, “Luton, why Luton?” We went along with my 4 year-old granddaughter to Stockwell Discovery Centre: museums, exhibitions, gardens and excellent cafe! (If you find yourself with some time to spare in the area, I highly recommend a visit) On the way around the museum (where I saw many displays I remember from my youth!), I saw a sign that I should have worn around my neck just a few days before…

January’s a strange month,
on an arable farm,
mostly office-bound,
manual work hurts the arm!
If you have a busy day,
you tend to feel your age,
end up bent in half,
like an ancient Roman sage!
But in Stockwood Museum,
a sign I liked so much,
“I am old…
…Please do not touch!”

If you’re bending or lifting today, please take care, you’re not as young as you used to be!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Art of Saving Fingers!

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Yesterday afternoon I chopped some kindling for our log-burner with my hand-axe as I was too lazy to fetch the tractor and log-splitter from the shed. As I was wielding the hatchet, I remembered to hold the log with a small stick and remembered an old farmworker, who showed me many years ago how to save fingers…

There’s something quite therapeutic,
Chopping kindling with a small axe,
So long as you remember your fingers,
They don’t care for bladed attacks!

On a farm when I was not twenty,
If working near a wood with a gang,
First thing Old Frank would chop firewood,
“We need to keep warm if we can!”

He’d cut a small stick as ‘a holder’,
To safely hold the wood (always planned!),
Then down would crash the billhook,
And his fingers would remain on his hand!

Wednesday Safety Alert: Be careful out there if using an axe today.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Christmas Card

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ccardsLast week I received an E-mail from a supplier to say that this year they aren’t sending out their annual Christmas card. This was a shame as the quality of card was way in excess of  the value of customer I was, but it assured continuation of them on my supplier list. Oh well, that’s one less to write…

How long do you think,
Christmas cards will survive?
robins and angels,
Santa sleigh rides!
Has it come to pass,
messages of Joy Love and Peace,
are no longer required,
on the Nation’s mantlepiece?
How will we know,
of your great wonder-child,
when our little darlings,
are running wild!
(…we only need to look,
Oh! the joy of Facebook!)

To those for whom I have no address, please consider this is my Christmas card to you. May you find peace, joy, love and happiness this Christmas.
With love from the Baldock Bard.
P.S. For others, they’re in the post or in process of being written ‘the analogue way!’

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
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Old-Man Planned!

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DCIM100MEDIADJI_0096.JPGI was filming with my drone the other day (before it nested in a tree) and ended up with a picture of a small spinney on the boundary of our farm. Because it nestles in the valley it mainly goes un-noticed unless you’re either working that field or driving up the single-track road beside it. However it has family history…

We have a little spinney,
on the boundary of our land,
once it was a ‘Chalk Pit’
it’s being was ‘Man Planned’
In the Sixties, my father,
planted up this piece of land,
So that I can always say,
it’s ‘My Old Man Planned!’

If you have a chance to leave a man-made legacy for future generations, grab the opportunity with both hands. It’s an opportunity that few of us get and no matter if you are gone and your name is forgotten, your legacy lasts. Go on – be daring – plant a tree before your day is done!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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