Sharon’s Tonka Toy!

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Our neighbour’s wife has recently had a new car. Her long-suffering husband, children and insurance company are probably wishing that she’d resort to using the bus! I wouldn’t dare comment…

My neighbour’s wife is full of joy,
She drives around in a Tonka Toy!
Her husband says her driving’s poor,
Last week she bent the garage door.
The children groaned: “Not again mum,”
As the door made a bang like a big bass drum!
A colour-coded bumper and new headlight,
Seemed to put the situation right!
The garage door was beyond repair,
There’s now just a space right there!
All repaired but that’s not all,
Last night she hit the garden wall!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 20th!


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Grandfather Bard!

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There are many rites of passage in life. Some are un-nerving, some are frightening and some are absolutely fantastic! Having been in at the birth of two children, I thought nothing could ever come close to that emotional roller-coaster ride. Well I was wrong!

This morning I became Grandfather Bard.

Our daughter gave birth to a baby girl by text! Receiving messages at infrequent intervals had me wondering if I should reach for the self-administering tranquilizer gun. I paced the house, drank far too much coffee (with it allied trips for relief) and even trawled the Internet aimlessly (randomly ending up at Pitcairn Island!).

It took a further two hours to learn the weight (7lbs 11oz) and come to terms with this life-changing event. Now it’s off to view for the first time and I can’t wait.

Thank heavens for little girls…

A very proud
Grandfather Bard

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Hazel’s Pristine Audi!

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It’s always exciting when a friend gets a new car! What will they choose? What colour and what level of trim? In some workplaces hierarchy or performance is shown by Fred having an ‘X’ or a ‘LX’, metallic paintwork or plain primary colour. Friend Hazel chose a white Audi (to compliment the sunflowers)…

Hazel drives an Audi,
A very smart company car.
It’s always sparkly clean,
The cleanest car by far!

It’s not considered ‘girly’,
Or manly by a mile.
Husband Matt is fine with that,
Passenger with a smile!

She had a choice of motor,
A Ferrari was too dear!
Her manager suggested:
“Should have had a Kia!”

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!


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The Bard’s New Clothes!

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True friends are those who come to the rescue, they are life’s fourth emergency service. Since my trusty Isuzu burnt out at harvest time (see Bard passim: http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=1064) I have been very lucky to have been lent vehicles by friends to tow the toilets to the car boot sale on a Saturday. Recently Ian has lent me his Land Rover…

Ian lent me his Land Rover,
It goes like a bat out of hell!
Something to do with chips I’m told,
(covered with hot chili sauce as well!)

Compared to my poor burnt Isuzu,
It pulls the loo trailer with ease.
Up the hill I feel quite ill,
As I shout “Whoa, Oh whoa please!
But it’s on Saturday mornings,
Where it seems confusion has been:
Nobody knows my new tin clothes,
I enter the sale unseen!

“Where’s your motor gone?”
Has been a common refrain,
The times I’ve had to answer,
Are enough to addle the brain!

Jim told me the other morning,
(he’s never been a charmer):
“For the first time since I’ve known you,
You look like a proper farmer!”
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

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Autumn Colours!

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September on the farm is a time to cultivate the fields ready for a new crop. Up and down the countryside tractor drivers have been putting in long hours preparing the ground. At Baldock Bard Farm, Pete has been busy…

The big John Deere is chugging away
Its rubber tracks are clean
Dust is blowing far behind
As it makes an Autumn scene

The subdisk has two rows of tines
That stirs the earth below
Discs then chop up any lumps
The forward speed is slow!
Pete is sitting in the cab
Twelve hours on his own
The only company he has got
The radio and his phone!

As you pass him in the car
Give the chap a toot!
He’s the start of your daily bread
And he doesn’t wear a suit!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until October 13th!

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Rest in Peace

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When PC Yvonne Fletcher was shot outside the Libyan Embassy in April 1984 the country was shocked to the core. It was shocking not only because it was the death of a woman police constable but also because it was a shooting of a police officer.

When a hail of bullets and grenades in a Manchester suburb mowed down two young police officers yesterday the shock waves that travelled through society were as intense as those 28 years ago.

The closest any of us are likely to get to this type of evil act is through the media. This is entirely due to the bravery of our policemen and women who protect us by night and day.

The thoughts of every decent person will be with the families, friends and colleagues of the two officers.

Rest in peace, Nicola Hughes and Fiona Bone.

 

Baldock Bard

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Matteo’s Big Flames!

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Yesterday evening we had what may prove to be the last barbecue of the year. As the evening drew in the temperature dropped considerably and Matteo (see Bard passim: http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=1127), ably assisted by his Uncle Alessandro, decided to light the fire-pit! Four singed eyebrows later they announced their endeavour to be ‘an unqualified success’…

They do things differently in Italy,
Or that’s what Matteo said,
“We lighta de fire dis way,
Drya weeds forma de starting bed!”

We looked on with amazement,
As the flames leapt to the sky.
Instant heat soon warmed us,
He’d used diesel that was why!

In the middle of proceedings,
Uncle Alessandro poured more wine!
Matteo looked up from the fire-pit,
And claimed that all was fine!
Then came the timber,
Branches felled in June.
The flames licked around them,
I thought it way too soon.

They both carried the biggest,
A trunk that looked too long.
Suddenly “Hey!” they both leapt away,
Both had eyebrows gone!

Then the singing started,
“How we do-a de things in Rome!”
I can only suggest earnestly:
You never try this at home!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues every Saturday at 7am until mid-October!

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A Most Powerful Legacy?

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Some considered the Paralympics to be a runner-up to the Olympics. I believe that is no longer the case. Channel Four’s coverage in the UK has been remarkable, they have greatly helped change perceptions through their brave and ground-breaking broadcasts and presenters. The public’s insatiable appetite for entertaining, exciting and successful sporting action has enabled most to see beyond the missing arms, legs and other disabilities. Individual stories have uplifted a nation and reminded us that you don’t have to look far to find someone worse off than you, however once found they don’t seek pity, nor charity but acceptance and the odd Personal Best…

What was the moment you forgot the person was not simply disabled but a World-class Athlete?
Was it the tirade in the velodrome: “Four f*cking years I trained for this”?
(or the apology afterwards?)
or
Sarah Storey catching up with the men’s road race?
or
Ellie Simmonds unbelievable speed down the length of the pool?
or
Richard Whitehead’s amazing win in the 200 metres?
or
The shock realisation that you hadn’t noticed the commentator’s missing arm despite having watched him give numerous track-side reports?
or
The discovery that the Paralympics is not the only championships where disabled athletes can compete?

Finally…
For me, the individual story that I shall always remember, is how American gold medal winner, wheel-chair racer Tatyana McFadden came to the games. I make no apology for repeating it here.
Tatyana was born with spina bifida, paralysed from the waist down. She was adopted from a Russian orphanage at the age of six by an American, Deborah McFadden, who bought Tatyana her first wheel chair and then encouraged her to participate in sports as a way to keep healthy.
Mrs McFadden has said that every time she introduced Tatyana to a sport, she took to it right away: swimming, gymnastics, wheelchair basketball and downhill skiing. Apparently she kept saying “ya sama”, in Russian it doesn’t mean ‘I can do it’, it means ‘I can do it myself’.
After the Paralympics in Athens, aged 15, she returned to high school (having won a silver and bronze medal) with a wish to be part of the high school track team. but on the eve of the first meeting the coach refused to give her a uniform, she wouldn’t be allowed to compete. However after a complaint by her mother she was allowed to race. The other competitors in the 400 metres ran first and then the meeting was stopped and Tatyana was allowed to race – on her own.
Tatyana and her mother sued the Howard County Public School System. Deborah Mc Fadden had been head of the US Administration on Developmental Disabilities in 1990 when President George Bush signed the Americans with Disabilities Act that banned discrimination against people with disabilities. The lawsuit-sought clarification on how disability rights laws applied to high school sports. Tatyana wanted to compete alongside other high school students.
Her action was not only for herself, but also for others including her sister, Hannah, now also a world-class athlete.
Tatyana now attends the University of Illinois on a sports scholarship. More and more of these are now being offered to athletes with disabilities.
In an interview with NPR (National Public Radio), Deborah McFadden is quoted as saying: “I never set out to say, ‘Hmmm, I wonder how I can make her a Paralympian’, I was thinking, ‘How can I keep her alive?’”

I shall leave the final word to ‘Last Leg’ presenter Adam Hills, who said last night on Channel Four: “Sydney was the first games where Paralympians were treated like equals – London was the first time they were treated like heroes.”

The world has changed for the better, lets hope the change is everlasting.

Baldock Bard

Sources: npr.org, imgace.com, twitter.com, google.com, tatyanamcfadden.com, wikipedia.org  

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The Tea Makers!

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The Games-makers (Volunteers) have been credited as central to the success of both the Olympics and the Paralympics. This is the public side of volunteering. It is what we British do well. Lesser considered is the almost invisible acts of selflessness that take place daily and upon which local events rely. Yesterday I was with a small number of volunteers, making tea for 170 guests, to celebrate the 200th anniversary of the founding of their chapel in the small Welsh village of Pembrey. Blessed are the tea-makers, the butter-spreaders and the washer-uppers, for their reward is observing the satisfaction others get from a well-made sandwich, cake or welcome cup of tea…

A small Welsh chapel celebrates today,
Two hundred years of Thought, Hymn and Pray.
They’re holding a tea in the Memorial Hall,
Another denomination? They welcome them all.

In the morning, a small team of helpers,
Gather to spread, cut and cling wrap.
It’s like a social, everyone chatting,
Quiet efficiency, no sign of a flap.
Mid afternoon, the guests all assemble,
Sit at the tables, “wonderful food!”
The spoken volume slowly increases,
“Another cake? To refuse would be rude!”

Everyone leaves, all in agreement,
“Fantastic tea!” they say or they think.
The hall is empty but in the kitchen,
Volunteers are gathered, working the sink!
© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Salek’s 20th anniversary season continues on Saturday morning at 7am!

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Bruce the Cockerel

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As with our cats and dogs, farmyard animals become members of our extended family. It’s probably because we name them and see them wandering around the farm every day. Our North Holland Blue Cockerel died this week and it’s not only the hens that are missing him…

Bruce the Cockerel is no more,
We found him dead upon the floor.
Why he died we cannot say,
He just looked hunched then passed away.

Unlike some cockerels he was kind and gentle,
So his loss to the hens is monumental.
The farm is quieter now we know,
We’ll no longer be woken by his morning crow!

© Baldock Bard 2012
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
The Baldock Car Boot Sale’s 20th anniversary season continues tomorrow morning at 7am!
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BootLine: 07852 707 074
E-mail: baldockbard(at)u-boot.co.uk
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