The Amateur Bee Keeper!

Posted on July 25, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Following a wedding in Devon, we had a funeral in Chester, a mere 250 miles to the North. The funeral was a true celebration of a life well lived. We stayed with Tony, an amateur bee keeper in Staffordshire. His attitude to this new hobby was rather refreshing…

Tony loves his bees,
he deals with them at ease,
he’s not really sure,
if he wants any more,
but if some swarm by he’ll say ‘please!’

He wears a very strange suit,
along with black Wellington boot,
he carries smoke,
before giving them a poke,
in his honey-questing persuit!

Unless you’re properly dressed it is not a good idea to disturb insects that sting!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Alice at Eighty!

Posted on July 5, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday evening Mrs Bard and I went to an 80th Birthday Party. Nothing unusual you may think, however as people get older these days they seem to get younger. Back in the day, when my grandmother was 80, she looked positively ancient, dressed in black or grey and confined to a chair. These days bright colours and a positive outlook seem to be the order of the day, particularly with Alice…

At a party in her garden,
(resembling The Palace!)
a young and spritely eighty,
we sang “Happy Birthday Alice!”
Wearing a brightly-coloured dress,
made for her daughter’s wedding,
added to a broad wide smile,
led to the years a-shedding.
Later when she opens,
her pile of birthday cards,
she’ll become aware,
all hold her in high regards.

When I was a child she hosted the most amazing children’s birthday parties, I’m pleased to say she’s not lost her magic touch! Happy Birthday Alice!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Memories in South Road, Baldock

Posted on June 28, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It is said that many from a certain generation can recall exactly where they were when they heard of President Kennedy’s assassination. I have to admit I can’t. Yesterday evening while driving down South Road in Baldock I remembered only too well the evening of 28^th of June 2012…

A simple journey,
to fetch a take-away,
around 7.30,
five years ago today.
I had to stop the car,
through tears I could not see,
a devastating phone call,
in South Road came to me.

Marsya was a journalist,
mother and true friend,
supporter and encourager,
enjoyed her life no end.
Everyone still misses you,
(soppy verse you despised!)
you enjoyed shocking with vernacular,
damn these tearful eyes!
Remembering Marsya and her much-loved family with love

© Baldock Bard 2017
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Not In Our Branch

Posted on June 13, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

In our local Lloyds Bank branch there is a new sign by the cashiers warning that abusive behaviour by customers will not be tolerated. I never thought I’d see such a sign in such a friendly small branch. While visiting yesterday I had an idea…

The ladies who sit behind the counter
have had a very bad encounter,
someone came in the other day,
behaving in an abusive way.

I have an idea for abusive haters,
hidden trap door with alligators!
If they attempt to scream and shout
It’d give them something to complain about!

In a couple of months the bank will close,
what we’ll do then heaven knows.
As the staff disperse to branches new
please remember the majority not the few.

Dedicated to all those at Lloyds Bank, Baldock. Thank you for being so friendly and charming over all the years – we’ll miss you.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Suitcase!

Posted on June 2, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I love browsing in remainder stores. I find that more than anything else it serves to remind me how we all have very different tastes (a wonderful thing otherwise we’d all be the same!). In my search for a stand-out item, I recently came across some suitcases that got me thinking…

Steve and Alice had been away,
seven whole nights in Montego Bay.
Flying back at the dead of night,
luggage carousel caused a fright!
So many bags all the same,
they searched for theirs only by name!
Steve then had a great idea,
solving the problem suddenly clear.
For Alice’s birthday he bought a case,
no more searching would they face.
Alice let out a dreadful groan,
now he travels on his own!

Wherever you’re travelling today, stay safe and enjoy yourselves.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Good in People

Posted on May 30, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

In these strange and uncertain times the kindness and humanity of people is often overlooked. However look at any incident, either national or local, and you will spot ‘Helpers’ Ordinary people who, rather than look away or gawp, do acts of kindness to help. An incident at the car boot sale I organise last Saturday, reaffirmed my faith in human nature…

A man called Dennis went to the boot sale,
as he does every week without fail,
looking around for some paint,
he began to feel quite faint.
All of a sudden he found himself down,
collapsed out cold on the ground.
Up jumped some helpers from their stall,
(didn’t know the collapsee at all),
put him in the recovery position,
“At the boot sale is there a Physician?”

The ambulance drove its way through the crowd,
it’s sirens occasionally quite loud,
took Dennis to Stevenage A&E,
now he’s better and bright as can be.
It just shows that there are good people about,
their deeds not broadcast with a shout,
at a boot sale, in the street, anywhere,
ordinary people who really do care.

With my heartfelt thanks to those who rushed to help. I don’t know your names or where you are from, but if this somehow reaches you, I just want to thank you so much for your acts of kindness. Dennis is much better and will be looking for you on Saturday to thank you in person. BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Doughnuts with Caramel Sauce!

Posted on May 20, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

We all have a favourite place to go to celebrate a birthday, anniversary or even just a Friday or weekend! Mrs Bard and I have sometimes driven thirty-five miles out of Baldock, almost to Newmarket, to eat out at the Hole In The Wall at Little Wilbraham, on the flimsiest of excuses! Yesterday was our 38th Wedding Anniversary, so it was a no-brainer when I wondered where to take the family for lunch to celebrate this milestone.

Alex Rushmer and his crew,
always take such care of you.
It’s no hardship, none at all,
to enjoy a lunch at the Hole in the Wall.

A Masterchef finalist in Twenty-Ten,
his food’s so good we go back again!
To cap it off we choose (of course!)
his famous Doughnuts with Caramel Sauce!

So thanks to everyone for a great lunch,
you are all such an amazing, welcoming bunch!
Added to that a great list of wine,
can’t wait to come back one more time!

Alex and the Crew are at The Hole in the Wall, Little Wilbraham, CB21 5JY. http://www.holeinthewallcambridge.com
You’d better hurry before they run out of Doughnuts!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Mr Bunn’s Big Bag!

Posted on April 26, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Throughout my farming career there have not been many years when we haven’t used fertiliser from Bunns, an old established company from Norfolk. While waiting for the spreader yesterday, I contemplated the wonderful advancement of the big bag that makes my job of carting to the spreader from the barn so easy. I the days of my youth the man doing the same job used to have to handle 1cwt (50kg) bags by hand, a back-breaking task…

Years ago a Mr Bunn,
said to his wife: “let’s give farmer’s fun!”
They sat in the kitchen with a bottle of Tizer,
“we’ll sell them small bags of fertiliser!”
So for years they made farmers sweat,
(and praying for rain but not too wet!)
After the couple had enjoyed a good laugh:
“Let’s go down a different path!
We’ve made them panic, now let the sweat run,
we’ll fill a bag that weighs a ton!”
Every year it’s easier for me,
they didn’t take into account my JCB!

With many thanks to Bunns and all the fertiliser manufacturers and sellers for initiating a quiet revolution un-noticed by most who drive by our farms.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Francis and the Pigtails!

Posted on March 15, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday on the farm, relief tractor driver Francis was cultivating. It is worth noting two facts: One: He has cultivated more land in his time than most of us have had hot dinners. Two: Having fathered three boys, one would possibly consider that his knowledge of ‘pigtails’ was sparse. He may not be used to platting hair but his understanding of a ‘Pigtail’ cultivator is probably unrivaled…

Up and down the field he goes,
keeping the straightest uniform rows.
He’s done this job many times before,
today, yesterday and in days of yore!
Some may use an expensive machine,
he knows oldies are not what they seem.
Despite some rust and faded paint,
they get on with the job – ‘flash they ain’t!’
In summer you’ll find him checking yield
‘cos he’s out standing in his field!

Many thanks to Francis for stepping up to the plate, it’s great to have you back!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Special Trip!

Posted on March 6, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

My son-in-law John (seen above with his favourite implement!) and his family have gone away in their camper van to celebrate a very important day. Daughter Marsya spent hours deciding which dolls (‘babies’) to take (I fear that she included the one that drinks and leaks!). They are now in their snug little ‘home away from home’ somewhere in the Midlands…

It’s son-in-law John’s birthday today,
it’s a big one I shouldn’t say.
Let’s just hint it rhymes with ‘naughty’,
as well as ‘sortie’ and of course ‘sporty!’
For his birthday with banners unfurled,
in the camper van to Dinosaur World!
No lie-in for daddy today,
“Here’s a doll it’s time to play!”
We wish you hours of a special ‘mirth-day’
and of course a ‘Happy Birthday!’

Happy Birthday John, hope you have a truly happy day.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: People and Personalities

The Amateur Bee Keeper!

Alice at Eighty!

Memories in South Road, Baldock

Not In Our Branch

The Suitcase!

The Good in People

Doughnuts with Caramel Sauce!

Mr Bunn’s Big Bag!

Francis and the Pigtails!

The Special Trip!