Category Archives: People and Personalities

Tony and Doris!

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We had some friends to stay. One of them had served time at a college for journalists in the seventies near the town of Harlow. We decided to share his reminiscences and visit some of his old haunts near Sawbridgeworth. Strangely enough this included a rather attractive pub. Suitably refreshed we made an acquaintance with Doris who was just passing at the time…

When sharing varied memories of a student past,
others in the room just see today!
Journalistic recollections make a good article,
papers are now free no need to pay!
All of a sudden in the middle of a sentence,
the lights in the bar began to blink,
out in the car park leaves began to rustle,
“Is that Storm Doris do you think?”
Hightailing it back to Baldock reminiscence over,
trees on local roads begin to fall,
roads are impassable media is excitable,
Have things changed? He doesn’t think much at all!
Hope you have a great weekend untroubled by wind!
If you want good food and great service and you’re in the Sawbridgeworth area, why not try The Thatchers, Hatfield Heath, CM22 7DU? We did and we’ll go back once the wind has dropped! https://www.thethatcherspub.com

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Snowman!

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Yesterday my daughter and granddaughter made a snowman. There hadn’t been a great fall and so much energy was expounded in rolling two great snowballs for a great distance around the garden. However by midday the head had fallen off and the fine gentleman was on the way to becoming a mere memory.

The 12th of February is a date that evokes sad memories for our family. It was on this day, just before midnight, that we had that dreaded knock on the door and a policeman bearing the news that our son, David, had been killed in a car crash at the age of just 22.

I suspect there are some lucky people, who haven’t experienced this situation, who may consider that after 14 years we should ‘be over it by now’ as don’t they say ‘time is a great healer‘? Well I guess that in my case time doesn’t heal, it just makes the memories harder to recall and the ‘what may have been’ all the more difficult to comprehend. It also makes you realise that there are things in life that are more precious than money or material possessions.

Every time I see in the media that a youngster has lost his/her life in a car my thoughts are for the family who are about to embark on one of the hardest journeys they’ll ever face. They will miss the opportunity to say a final few words and this will haunt them for years. However if, like us, they had said the simple words ‘Love You‘ at the end of every phone call or parting, then they would know that their last words to their child were special.

Like the snowman, it is up to us to enjoy the life we have and be thankful for every day, because we never know when the thaw might come!

With love and best wishes to you all.
Love You David
BB
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

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Making A New Friend!

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Yesterday we had a family day out to celebrate daughter Siân’s birthday. Her daughter, Marsya decided we were to see dinosaurs, along with Monkey her constant companion. As everybody knows, the best place to do that is in the Natural History Museum in London. We came away with something we didn’t expect…

In a traffic jam in Knightsbridge,
Marsya’s Monkey let out a scream:
“There’s a dinosaur in the back seat,
the most frightening that I’ve seen!
What will we do if it starts to roar?
I’m off to hide upon the floor!”

By the time we were out of London,
Marsya’s Monkey had calmed down,
“What do you mean it’s pretend like me?”
he said with a quizzical frown.
Now this morning they are best friends,
(they come from the same gene pool,)
and in a Tesco bag for life…
…they’re both off to nursery school!

Have a great day and make a new friend out there (or just get in touch with an old one!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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A Proper Farmer At Last!

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Many years ago when I worked on a dairy farm, the cowman, Sam, told me that on a ‘proper farm’, the cowman had the softest hands! Of course his idea of a ‘proper farm’ included animals and in particular cows. Every day he used udder cream on the cows udders and, by default, on his hands with remarkable results. This Christmas, a friend obviously thought I needed to pay some attention to my hands and gave me some Farmers Hand Cream, a chance to be a proper farmer…

Look closely at my farm,
no animals will you view,
just some arable acres,
Wheat, oats and beans too!
I’m now a proper farmer,
as I’ve got Farmers Hand Cream,
I’ll have the softest farmer hands,
in Twenty-Seventeen!

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year wherever in the world you may be.
Want to be a proper farmer? Pop along to www.welshlavender.com and your dream will come true (as did mine!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Ice Road Trucker

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A friend recently admitted that when she couldn’t sleep she would creep downstairs and watch ‘Ice Road Truckers’ in the middle of the night. Having given the therapeutic nature of such a programme some thought, I came up with these words, not to mock, but to show that we all have our unique ways to help us through dark nights…

Meek and mild Martha on the school run,
respectable, maternal and full of fun.
Once ‘Kids Away’ with their packed-lunch tucker,
she becomes ‘Merciless Martha the Ice Road Trucker!’

She doesn’t care there’s no sixteen-wheeler,
her imaginary truck’s a saddened-girly-healer,
with her truckers cap perched on her pretty head,
she drives the frozen wastes around Maidenhead!

With love to all the Martha’s,’The road will get ya!’

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

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Celebrating Guests!

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wrapChristmas is over and the last guests have left Bard Towers. As in many households up and down the country, the remnants of the season’s festivities lay discarded behind the sofa; torn wrapping paper, a half-eaten mince pie, a crumbly dog poo and an unsavoury looking canapé! Following the final departure the silence is deafening. As Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers should have sung: “Guests made this a Christmas to remember…”

The turkey carcass lies abandoned,
Grandad snoring mouth agape,
Men are smoking in the garden,
From the washing-up escape!

Extra chairs from absent neighbours,
Grandma ate upon her lap,
Check that Grandpa is still breathing,
Yes he is! Thank Heavens for that!

Darren’s sitting very carefully,
His worried face shows signs of fear,
Been to the toilet many times,
Scoffed those sweets from North Korea!

The kids are rioting in the bedroom,
They are leaping on the beds,
One is tied up to the headboard,
Tantrums and cola without the meds!

Someone’s shaver has gone missing,
The bathroom’s in very thick fog,
Kevin’s toothbrush has gone missing,
I saw it used upon a dog!

A ragtag army goes out walking,
Shouted at by farmer-with-sheep,
Returning back all cobwebs blown-out,
Find that Grandad’s still asleep!

Seven dogs have started fighting,
Aunty’s Peke is on the top,
All the kids have learnt new language,
As adults try to make them stop!

In the kitchen war is raging,
Turkey carcass on the floor,
The hostess shouting at her husband:
“Can’t stand your family any more!”

At that moment front door opens,
Uncle Bernard, parked nearby,
All the kids instantly scatter,
“Bad-breath-Bernard” they all cry!

Doreen has a screaming baby,
Her partner is ‘away’ this year,
She is soon going to visit,
He’s in Parkhurst for shifting ‘gear’!

Someone produces an obscure bottle,
Aunty Flo is filled with life,
Within the hour she’s drunkenly singing,
Uncle Bob ignores his wife!

Pete is sleeping on the sofa,
Along with a girl he brought called Sam,
The resultant moanings are suggestive,
That they will, they do, they can!

Tuesday comes the house is silent,
They’ve all gone and left today,
Every room is strangely silent
‘Come next year – we’ll be away!’

FOR THE RECORD:
This verse and the people portrayed within are pure fiction and bear no relation whatsover to the wonderful guests we had to stay over the Christmas period. BB.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

 

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A Christmas Tale 2016

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For the last thirteen years, my family has become accustomed to an empty place at our Christmas table, since our son David died at the age of twenty-two. However that serves to highlight the very special and true Christmas tale I have to tell…

grantlindaGrant and Linda do the catering at my Saturday Car Boot Sales near Baldock. Their daughters, collectively known as the ‘Food Angels’ flit between the stalls, collecting orders and delivering food and drinks, so the sellers don’t go hungry or thirsty.

Just over a year ago, Grant and Linda’s eldest daughter, Bianca-Jade, left for Australia. Knowing full well that there is a time to let one’s offspring fly the nest and discover new vistas, they waved her off with smiles but heavy hearts. It was obvious to me how much they missed her as we often talked about the happy but sad side to ‘Wrong Postcode Syndrome’ for a parent when you have a close family.

At this point I shall let Linda’s Facebook post tell the rest of their Christmas Tale…

“Wow what a Christmas!
Last night I get a call from Grant saying can you pop home. This is while I’m out shopping with Gemma and Bradley. So I go home straight away to find Amber there. Grant says Amber needs you. I walk in the lounge and OMG Bianca-Jade says “Happy Xmas Muma”. I nearly fainted to say the least. Our darling daughter has come home for Xmas how long for who knows. So happy going to be a special one for sure!!!!”
family…and that, my friends, is what Christmas is all about!

May you have a wonderfully Happy Christmas, surrounded by those you love and discover the true spirit of the season.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

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March Past!

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sandhurstI never could understand why so many foreign tourists flocked to see soldiers marching up and down outside Buckingham Palace – until last Friday! Now I understand, having been invited to Sandhurst to watch a passing-out parade. Furthermore I understand why so many cameras and phones are raised in front of such a spectacle…

The British have always marched well,
the military on parade,
the seemingly effortless choreography,
the stamp of boot on tarmac made.
Our generation can be cutting,
about the youth of today,
with discipline and training,
these youngsters will be OK!

Where they’ll go and what they’ll do,
only the future will decide,
but because they’ll do,
wherever they go,
we can sleep safely inside.

If you are ever invited to see the Soverign’s Parade at Sandhurst, be sure to take a camera! Best of luck to newly promoted Lieutenant R. L. you have made many people proud of you, thank you for letting me share your day.
sandhurst2© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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New Dog Old Tricks!

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old-dogThey say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. What they never tell you is that an old dog excels in teaching a new dog old tricks! Our old terrier, Chip, is very old and takes great pleasure in watching our puppy misbehave…

Our old dog,
sits upon the furniture,
looking down his nose,
as the puppy runs around.
Our small puppy,
climbs upon the furniture,
she enjoys climbing,
chewing cushions that she’s found!
Our old dog,
smiles down from the furniture,
knowing that his naughtiness,
will always be around!
chip-pupGive your dog an extra treat today for being… your dog!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Benefit of Flowers Indoors!

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flowersThe other day a friend thought we needed cheering up and kindly bought us some flowers. Now, being just a peasant of the soil, I’m not a great flower lover. However when I sat down that evening I suddenly realised they’d lit up the room with their colours and I couldn’t help but smile. Job done…

I lit the fire when it got dark,
on the sofa I did park,
I happened to notice a vase of flowers,
in the room (had been there hours!).
Their vibrant colours lit up the room,
a blaze of happiness amongst the gloom.
So thank-you Val (she flowers leave),
for bringing light on an autumn eve!

On this autumn morning, I wish you flowers!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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