Category Archives: Silly Verse

Drone On The Roof!

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rooffall3Yesterday I had a minor crash with my UAV (Drone) and it looked spectacular. Losing concentration I tried to land it on the roof of the stables from where it fell unceremoniously to the ground. Suddenly a song by the Drifters came into my mind and I now can’t shift it: ‘Up On The Roof!” Four new propellers and two prop guards later all was well…

When your drone starts foolin’ around,
and misbehaves in front of your face
it climbs up higher than our stairs,
and all my training falls right into place!
On the roof, no landing place to be,
the landing zone is as hard as hard can be!
Let me tell you now,

When I pick up the pieces of my drone,
I carry it back to the table at home (it hit the roof!)
I get away from the accident site
And think about the excuse I can use (it hit the roof!)
On the roof the only place I know,
Where drones that land make up a good show!
Let’s not land on the roof! (up on the roof!)

The damage wasn’t as bad as it could be,
and from the picture you can clearly see,
I keep a telling you… (repeat from top!)

With apologies to the Drifters for borrowing their melody, please can you take it back now?

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

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BACK NEXT YEAR
From April to October 2017
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Up Before The Lark!

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DCIM100MEDIADJI_0041.JPGFor the last time this year I am up before the lark on a Saturday morning. My normal ‘Bed By Nine – I’ll Be Fine’ rule was broken last night as I was ploughing into the night in an attempt to finish the field – Big mistake! The bed would’t let me go this morning and I am drinking a bucket of coffee in an attempt to resume normal service…

It’s Saturday morning,
just after five,
for the last time this year,
I’ll dash down the drive.
The alarm woke me up,
with a shriek at four-thirty,
I grabbed another half hour,
it was too early!
My customers await,
for me to open the gate,
all hell will break loose,
if I should be late!
For the last time this year,
to meet on Saturday,
Old friends will meet
“Happy Christmas” they’ll say!

To everyone who has joined us on a Saturday morning, whether in person or spirit, we wish you a very Happy Christmas and look forward to seeing you again next year!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Gulls Canteen!

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gullsI don’t think I have ever seen so many gulls following the plough as I did yesterday. If I didn’t have to look forward to keep the wheels in the furrow I could watch them for hours. It is my excuse for a crooked furrow and I’m sticking to it…

There’s no orderly queue at the seagulls canteen,
it’s the most disorderly chaos you’ve ever seen!
They’re swooping and pooping – unbelievably rude!
there’s no decorum when they’re looking for food!
Finally just to show they’ve finished their meal,
they bomb the tractor to let you know how they feel!

…and I had run out of windscreen wash!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Not As It Seems!

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pressIt is strange how things look different from the air. The other evening at dusk I sent the drone up over a field where Robin was pressing some ploughing with the John Deere rubber-tracked crawler tractor. My ploughing looked less than impressive…

Robin’s pressing my recent plough,
doesn’t look so good now,
when I was ploughing it looked fine,
now I’m embarrassed to say it’s mine!
In fact I’d say it makes me wince,
looks like he’s pressing a tray of grey mince!

…if you should spot me doing a dance,
I’m hoping for rain to come up from France,
if you have influence please can you say,
I’d please like some rain, but not Saturday!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Patient Terrier!

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terrierOur terrier is on a mission. She rushes around the house and then spends hours inspecting the skirting boards with the intensity of a hungry hound watching a tin of dog food being opened. We have tried everything except for counseling, perhaps it’s time…

Is there a rat in the kitchen?
or could it be a mouse?
our dog is going crazy,
rushing around the house!
It sits gazing at walls for hours,
playing a waiting game,
I wish it would catch just one,
perhaps that’s not her aim?

We were so concerned,
we took her to the vet,
“This terrier is normal,
no remedy discovered yet!”

In the Baldock Bard tomorrow: The cat that sings out of tune!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Age-Related Lubrication!

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lubricateYesterday was again spent on the tractor, ploughing. Burial Ground was particularly bumpy. This morning I ache all over, I can’t understand it. However in the workshop I came across a possible remedy…

My joints creak,
my muscles ache,
from sitting on the tractor.
I really think,
I must concede,
Age – the damning factor!

In the workshop,
I discovered,
a can of lubrication!
A quick squirt,
on every joint,
could be age-related salvation!

Now off to shovel some wheat and see if a squirt will help!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Talk Like a Pirate Day!

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pirateToday is not only my 1,350th posting, but also “International Talk Like a Pirate Day”. Both could be described as a silly nonsensical things designed to be just fun! All around the world today, ordinary folk will be using those phrases we know and love. Some will be dressing up for the occasion and some will simply be letting loose the odd ‘Aaaaaaaarrrrrh’ to surprised customers, commuters or colleagues. Enjoy…

“Shiver Me Timbers!”
we all say,
today is Talk
Like a Pirate Day!

Whether at work,
or at the bar,
it’s always satisfying,
to let out a big “Aaaaaarh!”

So go on I dare you,
or the plank it’ll be,
talk like a pirate,
see what fun it can be!

*In todays picture I’m modeling a 1966 T shirt from the Pirate Radio Station ‘Big L’ otherwise known as Radio London, which broadcast from the MV Galaxy off the Essex Coast from 1964-1967.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Mechanical Twins!

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twinsHurrah! The tractor that was broken is now mended and after a road test, has been declared ‘fit to plough!’ The two mechanics sent from Oliver Landpower, the local JCB dealership, waved their magic spanners and repaired the differential in the front axle quicker than scheduled…

Jonny and Jonny are mechanical twins,
exceptionally good at mending things!
When tractors on a farm break down,
they’re the mechanics you want around.
The JCB is fully functional now,
ready to return to the field with the plough,
The two must have had exceptional training,
they waved a spanner
…and it stopped raining!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Poorly Tractor!

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Readers who read my last posting will remember that when I left you there was something wrong with the JCB Fastrac tractor. A horrible clonking sound was coming from the front axle and ploughing had to be postponed while we awaited the mechanics…

The JCB Fastrac was ploughing,
day-dreaming as JCB’s do,
about a digger called Doug,
and a dumper-truck from Peru!

She was driving across the Savannah,
frolicking in the long grass,
when all of a sudden a pain,
in an instant her daydream was past!

The mechanics who last gave her a service,
looked on with horror at her gear,
pronounced with concern “differential”
“This looks serious we fear!”

She sits in the shed abandoned,
weeping silent tears on the floor,
parts are due from the factory,
so she can frolic wth the plough once more!

With grateful thanks to the skilled ‘Tractor-Doctors’ from Oliver Landpower at Luton, without whose skill I would be left scratching my head with confusion!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Service Interval

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Oliver LPI walked out into the yard the other morning and came face to face with what looked like a siege situation. Two large yellow vans were blocking the door into the barn. I approached with caution…

Two yellow vans block the shed door,
not a scene I’d witnessed before!
I approached with caution (unlike me!)
They’d come to service the JCB!
Now completed I can’t ask for more,
the tractor runs better than it did before,
the only problem that they couldn’t plan,
was to grease the joints of this old man!

With thanks to the two engineers from Oliver Landpower for using their skills to the max!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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