Category Archives: Traffic Jam

Holding Up The Traffic!

Posted on by
Share

Often farmers are criticized for holding up the traffic with their tractors. Many contractors these days drive their machines large distances and incur the wrath of motorists. Despite never travelling more than two miles on public roads, I always pull in at the nearest opportunity so as not to let a queue build up. Recently I pulled in to let cars pass and understood the reluctance of some tractor drivers to pull over …

I drove my Loadall down the road,
pulled in to let cars pass,
but the whole of my exercise,
turned out to be a farce!
Out of twenty-two cars that passed me,
(I’d held up for not one mile),
not one driver put up a hand,
not one thanks or nor even smile.
So next time they can wait and queue,
(I never drive that far)
they can wait, they can bate,
for ignorant they are!

For all my ranting I shall probably continue to pull in and simply not expect any recognition!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

George the Giraffe!

Posted on by
Share

The other day we went as a family to a local wildlife park. Now I know there are those who are adamant that the only place to see wild animals is in the wild in their natural habitat. Unfortunately we didn’t have time to pop to Africa and so the park was the next best thing. The animals were wonderful, but my favourite was a lone giraffe…

George the giraffe,
was hiding you see,
in the wildlife park,
behind a tree!
People driving by,
stopped to stare,
George kept on hiding,
he didn’t care!
Some people laughed,
some felt sad,
George just grinned,
“My life isn’t bad!
All those who’d eat me,
are behind tall wire,
there’s food in these buckets,
you couldn’t get higher!
I have all that I need,
right here by this tree,
if I were in the wild,
you couldn’t see me!”

Have a great day and good luck with hide and seek!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

Share

Watering a Round Garden!

Posted on by
Share

On Saturday morning at 6am in Baldock, as I put out my direction signs for the car boot sale, I came across a man watering his plants from a mobile tanker. Folk met at that time on a weekend morning seem to always pass the time of day in a pleasant way. I crossed the road and we chatted a while…

Bob has a round garden,
in the middle of the street,
his flowers planted in rows,
so they are always neat.

Early Saturday morning,
he waters them with a hose,
his wife is also a keen gardener,
her name, of course, is ‘Rose!’

Have a great day and may your plants flower with vigour!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

A Roadside Discovery

Posted on by
Share

There are times, in this ‘post-look-anything-up’ world, when the smallest of events or discovery can make your heart sing. We have become so used to digital discovery that we can be startled when we find something in the real world we haven’t seen before. Yesterday our agronomist David reported the discovery of a tiny orchid growing on a roadside verge while he was walking from field to field inspecting our crops.
The Bee Orchid is one of nature’s greatest mimics, its petals look like female bees to a male bee and therefore as he goes to get friendly with his ‘mate’ he pollinates the tiny flower… They say that we humans with our technology are clever.
For once the beauty of this tiny flower has left me speechless. So a picture (worth a thousand words!) will have to replace verse this morning.

Have a wonderful day and remember that sometimes the smallest of discoveries can make your heart sing with joy. BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

Share

A Day Off?

Posted on by
Share

As my Saturdays are spent running the Baldock car boot sale, Mrs Bard and I sometimes take Monday off in liew. This is all very well until my untroubled morning is interrupted by the phone and reality pokes its head above the parapet…

No commute for me this morning,
Decided to take the whole day off!
Watch drivers queuing at the junction,
They look with envy – don’t they scoff!
The trouble with living ‘above the shop’
(Or on the farm it’s just the same),
There are always jobs you should be doing,
Like sweeping the farmyard in the rain!
So this morning I’m taking it easy,
A leisurely coffee, “that’s great!” I say,
Then the phone interrupts the silence,
And my day off fades away!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The Barley Mow Lane

Posted on by
Share

One of the advantages of doing form-filling for the EU’s Basic Payment Scheme is that you visit those often overlooked, but beautiful parts of the farm. One such place is Barley Mow Lane (TL2731, 5940, WO12 Woodland 0.2439ha, in case you were wondering!). Years ago, this wooded track formed the walk from the farm’s cottages to the local pub. Dis-use due to nobody employed on the farm, cars conveying the thirsty to places afar, closure of the pub in the late seventies and cottages sold off, means it has reverted to a magical small piece of woodland…

Tommy, Bill and Paul,
were in the pub’s darts team,
they’d walk up from the cottages,
double-tops were their dream!
The hard work of the day,
washed away with many beers,
dominoes and companionship,
and the echoing of ‘Cheers!’
Now the track is silent,
Nature has taken its course,
very few now visit,
except sometimes on a horse!

All was peaceful until the farmer arrived with his drone!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Early Morning Sleep Depravation!

Posted on by
Share

Last Saturday I was surprised to find a large queue of sellers awaiting me at the car boot sale. It was silly-o-clock in the morning, a time most sensible people have never seen at the weekend! A late arrival, some hours later, who still found a space, suggested somewhere they could go…

Before half-past six on Saturday,
they queued for the car boot sale,
some had been there for over an hour,
in case their pitch for a pitch should fail!
Someone suggested that they should,
possibly later this week,
buy a comfortable mattress,
or specialist counselling seek!

Have a great week and savour those extra minutes stole in bed after the alarm has rudely interrupted your sleep!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

My Farmer Failings!

Posted on by
Share

Amongst my many failings, Mrs Bard has one big complaint. Whenever we drive somewhere I’m always looking over the hedge to see what other farmers are doing! From “That doesn’t look a very good field of wheat,” to “That crop looks far better than mine!” Passing a tractor on the road begs the question (sometimes unspoken!) – “What’s he doing? Where’s he going?” Farmers can’t help it although apparently counselling can sometimes help…

If a farmer has a drone,
you’re in the garden with only socks,
he won’t be looking at you,
just at his neighbours’ crops!
If you see a naked knight in the bathroom,
without his suit of armour,

You can take a farmer from the farm,
but never remove it from a farmer!

Have a great day and stay safe. Picture shows Case Quadtrac and Lemkin cultivator – only saying in case you’re interested!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

Tiddles and the Driving Lesson!

Posted on by
Share

It is remarkable the sights you see when you are driving. Up to now they have been mostly un-provable, however the dashcam, ‘Spy-in-the-Windscreen’, now captures everything. On Friday I was driving through a local town and captured ‘Tiddles’ having her first driving lesson…

Tiddles is learning to drive the car,
sits on her daddy’s lap,
the problem when she sees other dogs,
she stands at the window to yap!
She can’t quite reach the pedals,
her paws slip on the steering wheel,
but oh how pedestrians like to laugh,
(other dogs have been known to squeal!).
Daddy keeps an eye on the road,
in case the law should see,
his defence: “Tiddles wasn’t driving,
she’s only just leapt on my knee!”

Have a good day and stay safe out there.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY
25th Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share

The View from my Window!

Posted on by
Share

There is nothing quite like the view from a tractor cab when you’re doing a job like rolling. You sit there hour after hour going up and down the field putting the sort of stripes in the wheat crop that are normally associated with Wimbledon Tennis Club. However, after a while it can get rather tedious…

Rolling the wheat on West Field,
up and down I go,
boredom is setting in,
fed up with the radio!
My flask of tea is empty,
the water has gone too,
and all I’m left to occupy me,
is watch the passing view!
It’s then I suddenly realise,
how lucky can I be,
watching passing countryside,
Anyone want to swap with me?

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing today, enjoy the view!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com


The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Share