Category Archives: Weather

Autumn in July!

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I must have been walking around with blinkers on for the last few weeks as suddenly the pavements and sides of the roads seem to be covered in leaves. Autumn has come early and with it a problem for both councils and motorists…

It’s autumn in July,
it made me wonder why,
so many leaves were lying on the ground?
It’s as if the trees,
had performed a striptease,
because the relentless heat had finally ground them down.

Both the sides of the road,
leaves gathered like it snowed,
even yellow-lines are partially obscured.
Will you get a parking fine,
by stopping on the hidden line,
a leafy prosecution might well be secured!

Stay safe out there and take care where you park!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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It’s All In The Photo!

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The other day I was asked by a local farmer to survey one of his fields with my trusty drone. I was hoping to find any evidence of land drains that might show up in this drought. I overflew the field for over 40 minutes and began to feel a failure when I could see no evidence on the monitor. Back in my office I started to stare at the high-definition pictures praying for some sort of success in order to save face! I then remembered a story that an elderly friend told me back in the mid-eighties about his war-time experience with an aerial photograph…

In 1944, just before ‘D Day’, Andrew, a young inexperienced officer in the Engineers, was asked to deliver a package to the Photo Reconnaissance department. He was shown into a room and told to wait. On a large table there was a massive black and white aerial photo of a main-line railway track leading to a large junction. As a teenager, Andrew had spent his summer holidays in the West Country, as a bored only child he had been befriended by the local stationmaster who had taught him about railways, not just in the UK, but also on the continent. Out of interest he began to look at the photo. Suddenly he noticed something odd, various bridges had been removed and one of the tracks had recently been moved to allow a greater distance between the up line and the down line. What he’d noticed was the alteration of the rail network in northern France in order to accommodate Rommel’s Tiger tanks on their way to where the Germans thought the Allies would invade – the Pas Du Calais. This also proved that the propaganda had been successful and accepted by the Germans as fact. He was immediately posted to intelligence, where he spent the rest of the war, in his words: “Looking at photographs!”

Andrew taught me that in photographs the evidence is always there to see, you just have to see it! I remembered Andrew as I sat starring at pictures from 400ft of a field and very slowly lines began to emerge and they weren’t tractor wheel marks!
Thank You Andrew.
Normal service will be resumed tomorrow!
© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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Damned If I Do…!

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Have you ever been wrong on many counts? I was the other day and it was not long before a stranger told me so! It was a very hot day and I had gone shopping with Mrs Bard. We parked in a supermarket car park so devoid of shade it might as well have been an Arabian desert! As we had the dogs in the car I elected to stay with them. Having recently watched a video of a vet, dressed in scrubs, showing how hot dogs can become in a car, I left the engine and air-conditioning running. Big mistake…

A knock on the window heralded her arrival,
Attilla the Hen had a new rival!
“What are you doing with your engine running?”
Her vitriolic attack was momentarily stunning,
“It’s people like you cause Global Warming,
I’ll report you for that!” a timely warning!
When I said I had two dogs in the back,
she started to splutter as if having an attack,
“People like you should be allowed to keep pets,
They should have warnings about you in the vets!”
With that she stormed off quite absurd,
and fell not so gracefully over the kerb!
So I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t,
will I take any notice? I’m damned if I won’t!

Have a great day, enjoy the heatwave and remember hot dogs die in hot cars. Stay cool, healthy, happy and safe

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Big Match!

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There are people who are fed up with the hot weather, but at the Baldock Saturday Boot Sale we love it! As an added bonus, because the gates open for sellers at 0630hrs, the heat of the day is yet upon us. But tomorrow many will ignore the heat at 3pm when a certain match kicks off in Russia…

It’s cool to boot at Baldock,
before the heat of the day,
the sellers set their stalls out,
many buyers (they don’t pay!)

Tomorrow we won’t mention ABBA,
meatballs or IKEA,
at three their stores may empty,
it’ll be football with a beer!

If things go wrong in Russia,
and England are knocked out,
let’s pray there isn’t trouble,
like throwing plastic chairs about!

Have a great weekend and enjoy the match!
See you the other side of the weekend!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Home From Home

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On my way to the bank yesterday I passed a caravan parked in a car park. Knowing that some holiday-makers sometimes use car parks for the night with a motorhome, the idea of a caravan parking this way was new to me. On the way back I stopped to speak to the couple who were sat outside in the sunshine. They’d had a tough week, he’d lost his job, she had been ill and they were evicted from their home. However, they were smiling, with a broad grin he told me how friends were rallying round to help…

In a car park in town,
a caravan with jacks down,
looks like it’s going to stay.
A husband and wife,
with troubles in life,
sit outside on a perfect summer’s day.

Last week they were evicted,
a move neither predicted,
and now the van is their home.
The leisure battery was shot,
no power had they got,
no light at all – not an ohm.

A friend lent a generator,
a battery from a mate (…er!),
their friends had rallied around.
I felt quite humble,
that despite a huge tumble,
their feet remained on the ground.

The moral is clear,
that when icebergs appear,
and your ship is sinking quite fast,
friends bring the lifeboat,
to help keep you a-float:
Your future depends on your past.

(…in life you reap what you sow!)

When I passed later they had gone. I wish them well, it just shows that none of us realize just how lucky we are.
True friends are always there, covering our backs.
Discover a new friend today. I made and helped a new friend yesterday.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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Saying It With Flowers!

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How observant are you of your surroundings? Do you sometimes, like me walk around with a head full of nonsense, and totally fail to spot something right in front of your eyes? Yesterday I was walking through a town when suddenly I stopped, look back, and blurted out – ‘Wow!’ to nobody in particular…

On a drab library building,
suddenly flowers abound,
so much so,
that I spun around!
Such bright colours,
against drab-coloured brick,
quite remarkable,
but it did the trick!
St Neots Town Council,
brightened my day,
they ‘said it with flowers!’
What more can I say!

Have a great day. Maybe something will make you day brighter out of the blue!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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Kevin Cycles!

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The warmer weather, whilst bringing out barbecues, picnic rugs and paddling pools, also brings out cyclists onto the roads. While most are considerate and safety conscious, there are some who see car drivers as the enemy and behave accordingly. This is all the more apparent on country roads and lanes, where space is already at a premium…

When Kevin dons his lycra,
he finds he’s at a loss,
why motorists seem to swear at him,
‘cos he thinks he’s the boss!
He swoops down country lanes,
he doesn’t give a damn,
in his mind you will find,
he thinks that he’s ‘The Man!’
A mummy’s doing the school run,
Little Freddie calls her ‘a bitch’,
for a moment she’s distracted,
and Kevin’s in the ditch.

Ride carefully Kevin. With apologies to all the considerate and careful riders out there, keep peddling and stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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The Spider and the Spoon!

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I must have been playing in the long grass when my mother gave her cubs the etiquette lesson because I’m a social failure. Either I get motor-mouth-bore factor 50 or I am struck dumb with gargoyle-stone-tongue-syndrome. On Sunday I went to a wonderful 60th birthday party, lovely surroundings, sunshine, very tasty wine, marquee on an English lawn, one of over 100 guests and a seating plan for lunch. I knew quite a few of the other guests but have an inbuilt dread of seating plans. We sat down for lunch and I found myself between the daughter of the birthday-girl (a young and pretty Australian nurse) and a spritely and feisty grandmother. I tried to be a good guest, attempting to share attention, until the grandmother dug me in the ribs with a well-sharpened elbow…

“I think that you will find,
there’s a spider in your spoon,
and as it’s nearly two,
they’ll serve pudding very soon!”
I looked at my cutlery,
and suddenly could see,
the ‘spider’ she was talking about,
was the roof of the marquee!
In horror my brain went frozen,
what was I to do?
Suggest a trip to Specsavers,
or dash out to the loo?
So I picked up the spoon,
and gave it a mighty clack,
then she said the immortal words:
“Oh look! The spider’s back!”

With massive apologies to my wonderful lunchtime neighbours for the embellishment of the simple tale. Although in my defence, I did tell the grandmother as I took the photo that I had no idea how I’d include a spoon into a verse!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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The Bridesmaid’s Blossom!

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This year the blossom on the trees seems to be more radiant than ever. In particular, the flowering cherry has outshone them all. Looking out of the window I was reminded of a bridesmaid at a wedding…

Like a rather large bridesmaid,
in her bridesmaid’s dress,
the flowering cherry,
is desperate to impress!
But in this case,
when seen from inside,
this large pink bridesmaid,
outshines the bride!

For all those who misread the title, I hope you had a little chuckle, have a good day and stay lucky!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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The May-Day Cowslip

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Using a ride-on mower on a lawn is a mixed blessing. While it is great to glide up and down the grass, it can be difficult to weave in and out of obstacles like hedges and flowerbeds. However one obstruction at this time of year is entirely worth the inconvenience (and un-mown patches of long grass!)…

There’s nothing quite like cowslips,
when they appear on your lawn,
you have to swerve the mower,
or in haste they’ll be shorn!
Their delicate strident yellow,
perfect contrast to the green,
the disruption’s always worth it,
for this annual April scene!

In years past the cowslip was used to decorate May-day head-dresses, Happy May the First!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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