It Can’t be Raining!

Posted on August 1, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

All of a sudden we are in harvest! The combine is plodding up and down the field, the grain cart is rushing to and fro filling the store and one eye is firmly fixed upon the dark clouds that encircle the farm. Then the worst case scenario – it starts to rain. However there is an old combine drivers saying…

‘It can’t be raining,
if you ignore the wipers’,
the sun is hiding,
behind storm clouded vipers!

I find myself carting,
wheat to the barn,
there is rain on the windscreen,
I shriek with alarm!

All of a sudden,
the precipitation gone
such a good job,
I didn’t turn the wipers on!
…and then my son-in-law, John, arrives back from holiday in France and jumps straight on the tractor. Good luck twice in one day, it could be my lucky harvest!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Lonely Combine!

Posted on July 31, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The last few days have shown little evidence of summer. Frequent showers have meant that harvest for some has been a damp, stop/start affair. Farmers have to wait until wheat is dry enough to store or sell and the magic reading on the oft-sworn-at moisture meter is 15%. A neighbour’s giant green combine has spent a lonely weekend in a half cut field. More combines have been abandoned in fields this weekend than if there had been a zombie invasion…

Like a giant feeding animal,
chained on a far too short tether,
the Class Lexion combine,
is awaiting dry weather.
Abandoned when the storm hit,
the driver dashed to the farm,
leaving it alone and abandoned,
Harvest stop-start with alarm!
Fast forward to this morning,
with moisture meter they’ll go
pray for a good reading
and harvest will flow!

Whatever your harvest is, whether behind a desk or in a field, have a good one today!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Early Morning Sky!

Posted on July 29, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It is strange how some mornings the weather forecast leads to expectations which then don’t materialise. I was expecting pouring rain at 04:30 this morning. I had convinced myself that the early alarm call would be wasted and instead of running my car boot sale, I’d be able to slope off back to the confines of the warm duvet! The sky told a different tale…

I love the early morning sky,
it fascinates me, heaven knows why!
It holds such promise in many ways,
a glimpse of future happy days!
The forecasters promised heavy rain,
a wash-out boot sale, what a pain,
opening the curtains I look out and see,
a wonderful sight facing me!
Hardly a cloud stains the view,
everything is dry, the morning new,
and I can’t slope back off to bed,
but face a dry sunny day instead!

Whatever you’re up to today and wherever in the world you find yourselves, may you enjoy your day and stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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A Slice of Wedding Cake!

Posted on July 27, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Last weekend I went to a family wedding in Devon. Having been berated by one of my foreign readers for writing about the journey and leaving the main event uncommented, I thought I’d better see what I could do. Writing about such an occasion will never do it full justice (unless it runs to 7,324 pages!) and so I offer you a slice of wedding cake…

The bride went to the altar,
to wed her handsome man,
the forecast talked of showers,
but all went according to plan.
The reception in a marquee,
a very British affair,
Thought I’d spotted Hugh Grant,
turned out he wasn’t there!
The father of the bride,
delivered an emotional speech,
the guests all toasted everyone,
again for glasses reach!
The photos were full of smiling,
with sunshine all around,
some high heels on the lawn,
seemed to dig into the ground!
Over in the corner,
awaiting rain from heaven,
a line of colourful brollies,
vital accessories in Devon!
“My Lords, Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding and raise a glass (or mug!) to Robert and Rebecca, and wish them a wonderful, long and happy marriage; Robert and Rebecca!”

I must just mention the brides mother who sang the first dance. It was truly amazing and had every guest on their feet applauding. One of the most remarkable and emotionally-charged performances I’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing.
Also a big ‘Thank You’ from me to the ‘Northern Crew’ who were so friendly towards a ‘Southern Softee’ and were a true pleasure to meet. May we meet again sometime. BB.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Incy Wincy, the Very Large Spider!

Posted on July 20, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

While dusting the edges of the grain barn I came across a very large spider. So large was it, that she reminded me of the children’s nursery rhyme about Incy Wincy Spider and the problems of a downpipe. Unfortunately, being me, I had to take it further and strike up a conversation…

“Good morning Mr Farmer,”
shouted Incy spider across to I,
“You’re not going to hurt me,
‘tis not my time to die.”

“I have forty-nine young children,
three are not at school,
Sharon and Simone are poorly,
Shane is playing football!”

“Nine have left PE kit at home,
twelve have earned detention,
and Sam is in teacher’s very bad books,
for not paying enough attention!”

“My husband’s at the pub,
ogling the barmaid’s six legs,
the silly fool dreams of giving her,
a clutch of fifty eggs!”

By then I’d heard enough,
“Please see your own way out,
troubles you have plenty,
Just mind that water spout!”

Have a great day, may your troubles all be smaller than anticipated.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Watering a Round Garden!

Posted on June 25, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

On Saturday morning at 6am in Baldock, as I put out my direction signs for the car boot sale, I came across a man watering his plants from a mobile tanker. Folk met at that time on a weekend morning seem to always pass the time of day in a pleasant way. I crossed the road and we chatted a while…

Bob has a round garden,
in the middle of the street,
his flowers planted in rows,
so they are always neat.

Early Saturday morning,
he waters them with a hose,
his wife is also a keen gardener,
her name, of course, is ‘Rose!’

Have a great day and may your plants flower with vigour!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Farming Factor!

Posted on June 23, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I had just put the last bales of freshly-made hay undercover in the lean-to shed when the heavens opened with heavy rain mixed with hail. Sometimes I have not been so lucky and have been sat in the tractor cab watching the un-baled hay receive a biblical soaking. Yesterday morning I was in the barn when the drumming on the roof announced the break in the tropical weather we’ve ‘enjoyed’ for the last few days…

We all have luck
in many a way,
particularly needed,
when making hay.
Many a time,
I sat on the tractor,
watching hay ruin,
it’s the ‘Farming Factor’.
This time I’ve been lucky,
six days in a row,
I sometimes forget,
crops need rain to grow!

Have a great day and take care out there.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Welcome Visitors!

Posted on June 21, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday we said goodbye to our last group of London school visitors to the farm this season. They were wonderfully behaved, attentive and seemed to enjoy the wild moments that we can give them! they collected sticks, feathers and even bones to take back with them on the coach…

Bone collectors and souvenir hunters,
went striding through the wood,
excitingly chattering
and silent when they should!
We didn’t see the deer,
and the wolves were not around,
but often heard the shout,
“look what I have found!”
Often a clash of sticks!
just like the Knights of Old,
the weather was scorching hot,
so often it is cold!
So thanks to all the visitors,
who came to learn and play,
we hope you come again,
thanks for making our day!
Thank you so much to all the visitors from W.G. for truly making our day in-between bouts of making hay!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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A Good Hay-Making Year?

Posted on June 20, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It is very easy to make bad hay. Even when the weather is perfect the task is covered in pitfalls and ruination is just around the corner! After all haymaking is not rocket science: first cut the long grass, turn it so that it dries through and then bale it and put it in the shed. I have made so much bad hay in my life that I’m surprised that I still attempt the unpredictable job…

Yesterday I fetched out the ‘Hay-Bob’,
where it had lain since last year,
I attached it to my trusty tractor,
everything normal did appear.
Then the grease gun made an appearance,
to make sure everything moved so well,
into the field to turn the grass,
hay-making Heaven or Hay-making Hell?
The sun shone brightly like abroad,
it wasn’t like Baldock here at all,
the grass wilted perfectly, so unusual,
I kept waiting for the inevitable fall.
Then I spoke to my father,
he reinforced my hay-making fear:
“The worst hay can always be made…
in the very best hay-making year!”

Have another perfect hot hay-making day and may you not wilt like the grass!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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One Man Went To Mow!

Posted on June 19, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I went to mow some permanent pasture for hay. Like me, all of my hay-making machinery is old and knackered! It is also stored well away from the more modern machines so as not to spread a general air of malaise or rebellion amongst cultivators and other more frequently used machines…

One man went to mow,
went to mow a meadow,
took the mower from behind the shed,
and went to mow the meadow.
He greased up all the grease points,
checked the blades were sharp,
climbed inside the tractor cab,
took the handbrake out of park!
Up and down the field he went,
the air-con was on cold,
the dust was all outside the cab,
not like days of old!
Now the field is fully mown,
“Where’s the hay-bob metals?”
just then he spied the headstock,
poking above the nettles!
So tomorrow I’ll be turning hay,
the meadow is all mown,
if anything goes wrong in turning,
the fault will be home-grown!

Have a good day and be sure to make hay while the sun shines!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Weather

It Can’t be Raining!

The Lonely Combine!

The Early Morning Sky!

A Slice of Wedding Cake!

Incy Wincy, the Very Large Spider!

Watering a Round Garden!

The Farming Factor!

The Welcome Visitors!

A Good Hay-Making Year?

One Man Went To Mow!