Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs

Silver Stairway to Relief!

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Yesterday while preparing for the first car boot sale of the season I noticed some remedial work was necessary on the toilet steps. After welding up the joints I remembered I had some odd spray cans left over in a unit from an untidy tenant. Two of the cans were silver wheel paint, how perfect for our twenty-fifth anniversary season at the car boot sale…

On top of the trailer staircase,
you will find relief,
the facilities are clean,
I hope your visit’s brief!
On our silver anniversary,
of the car boot sale,
would be unfortunate,
if the staircase were to fail.
I welded up some cracks,
(one hidden underneath)
then painted the staircase silver,
‘Silver Stairway to Relief!’

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, have fun and stay safe.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS Morning!
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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They Will Come!

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Twenty-five years ago this year I stood in a field of grass near Baldock with the gate open. I was hoping, rather like Kevin Costner in the film Field of Dreams, that ‘They Will Come!’ That morning, twelve brave sellers came through the gate with around sixty buyers and the Baldock Car Boot Sale was up and running! However, for 686 Saturday mornings since then, a little voice in the back of my head has continually whispered saying: “Will they come?” Thankfully the answer has always been ‘YES!’ and we have clocked up over 40,000 sellers and well over 500,000 buyers since that first tentative step. They did come…

In my ‘Field of Dreams’,
near to Baldock town,
we have a boutique boot sale,
the happiest around.
It may not be the biggest,
it may not be that small,
but our customers are the friendliest,
God bless them one and all!

Dedicated to the thousands of friends I’ve made during the last 25 years.

From the film ‘Fields of Dreams’ 1989 (Universal Pictures) starring Kevin Costner: 
Ray, people will come Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past…
…This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh… people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY!
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Holiday View!

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Mrs Bard and I were having a drink with a couple the other evening and the subject of holiday photos was discussed. They seemed to favour one from a few years ago when they stayed in a villa in the Tuscany Hills in Italy. They promised to e-mail it to me. When it arrived I was much impressed, but wondered if it had come from the brochure…

Marvin and Janet went to stay,
in a Tuscany villa for holiday.
Every evening glasses of wine,
a very good job the weather was fine!
Two chairs, a table, bottle and view,
does it look just like the brochure to you?
Two weeks of idyl, they’ve not returned,
this year’s a package, lessons learned?

Wherever you are in the world this morning, enjoy the view! – Cheers!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY!
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Tiddles and the Driving Lesson!

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It is remarkable the sights you see when you are driving. Up to now they have been mostly un-provable, however the dashcam, ‘Spy-in-the-Windscreen’, now captures everything. On Friday I was driving through a local town and captured ‘Tiddles’ having her first driving lesson…

Tiddles is learning to drive the car,
sits on her daddy’s lap,
the problem when she sees other dogs,
she stands at the window to yap!
She can’t quite reach the pedals,
her paws slip on the steering wheel,
but oh how pedestrians like to laugh,
(other dogs have been known to squeal!).
Daddy keeps an eye on the road,
in case the law should see,
his defence: “Tiddles wasn’t driving,
she’s only just leapt on my knee!”

Have a good day and stay safe out there.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK THIS SATURDAY
25th Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Bargain Time!

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The other day in my local car accessory shop I noticed a collectors item. These soon-to-be-reduced-bargains were still on prominent display. I stood back, considered a purchase and then looked elsewhere. I dare say I’ll soon see them on a stall at my car boot sale when it opens for its 25th season on the Saturday after Easter…

Anyone want a GB badge,
surrounded by twelve yellow stars?
It once looked modern and bright,
on the boots of cars.
Now it sits unwanted,
on a thousand shelves,
the only way on Santa’s sleigh,
along with twenty elves!
After Easter we might see them,
for sale on boot sale stalls,
and Easter Rabbits with chocolate habits,
who’ve broken EU rules!

Wishing you and yours a Very Happy Easter, whatever your religion or beliefs. I’ll see you on the other side of the holiday! BB

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

 

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Grandfather Rights!

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Following the abolition of Grandfather Rights on farms, I now find myself in need of training in order to do what I used to do as a matter of course. I have completed and passed my PA6A (for knapsack sprayers see (http://www.baldockbard.co.uk/?p=9155), but found myself without the foundation course PA1 (Safe Use of Pesticides). Some have questioned my rush for certification, even going so far as to enquire whether I shall be signing up for course ZF3 – safe handling of a Zimmer frame…

Having passed my PA6 it was enquired of me:
“you have no PA1, as far as I can see!”
So yesterday to Whittlesford for more training I went,
‘back to the classroom for you’ I was sent!
Another candidate 40yrs younger than me,
“You here for the Zimmer course, that I can see!”
I replied ‘pardon, my hearing is so poor,
are you in a draught? Then I’ll shut the door!”
I started spraying in nineteen seventy-four,
Now I’ve learned lots I didn’t know before.
Gary taught me much, notes page after page,
Continuous Professional Development…
…even at my advanced age!

Thanks to teacher Gary for his patience in imparting so much information in such a short space of time. Many thanks (with good luck and best wishes) to the other pupil, Katie, who was kind enough not to point out that I was probably old enough to be her grandfather. Gary and Robert (the examiner!) can be found at the Saffron Walden Training Group www.swatg.co.uk

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Branch Closure

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Often in the media you hear about banks closing local branches. This is one of those facts of life that generally happen to ‘other people!’ This time, it’s us! Our local branch of Lloyds Bank is due to close. It has perfect parking, superb staff and is popular with local businesses and residents alike. The alternatives proposed have their problems, either with distance or parking. One alternative branch is only open on a Tuesday or Thursday. One wonders if these faceless committee members have ever visited the town…

Lloyds at Baldock is closing down,
(I’ve always thought the best in town!)
Faceless groups in faceless offices,
issue diktats from various orifices.
If an alternative one should seek,
Stevenage: Only open two days a week!
If in Letchworth you try to park,
get up early preferably when it’s dark!
Did they ask us, did they hell!
(they’d dislike the answer, just as well!)
I suspect progress will get the blame,
for us, the customers, it’s just a shame.

With thanks to the wonderful staff I’ve known during 45 years of being a customer. You have always provided a personal service that is getting rarer these days. In terms of banking service, friendliness and customer satisfaction, Baldock is BEST!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Lovely Lucky Cowslips!

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Do you ever carry out tasks while on auto-pilot? Those tasks that have become so ordinary that your brain spends time ‘away from home?’ Yesterday evening I was mowing the lawn, brain definitely elsewhere, when I almost ran over some annual guests…

The beautiful Cowslips,
back again this year,
in the middle of the lawn,
a disaster was so near. 

Every spring I avoid them,
every spring there’s more,
I even avoid them later,
until seeding done for sure. 

In emergency I stopped the mower,
they had vanished out of sight,
I felt sick until I reversed,
they they were – they were alright!

Have a great weekend. Make sure you avoid the avoidable and bump into just friends!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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The Drover’s Inn

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Yesterday I was flying my drone above a small wood on the farm known as ‘The Rough Field’. This is actually not a bad name for the small wooded area as it was the location of an inn in the Seventeenth Century called The Tabbard. It was next to the old Icknield Way, an ancient Roman Road, popular with drovers and had a field (presumably to house the drovers animals overnight) called Fiddler’s Mead. Its fate is described by the name of the track leading down to it from what is now the main road to Baldock, one can only presume that activities in the inn at Rough Field led to the naming of Burnthouse Lane…

“I’ve walked many a few miles,
these last few days,” said the drover.
“I’ve avoided rogues and thieves,
on my journey down to Dover!
And now I’m ready,
to sup a quart of ale,
lay my hand upon a wench,
and listen to many a drunken tale!
My sheep are safely grazing
in the meadow called Fiddlers Mead,
bring me a jug of ale,
I have not patience left to plead.”
Later that terrible night,
in the light of the full moon,
drunken drovers started fighting,
it was over all too soon.
Our drover bleeding and staggering
with the bolt across the door,
fell into the fireplace,
drover and inn were no more!

Wishing you a good day. May your sheep never wander and your glass always be full

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Retired Tractor!

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Yesterday I started up our old David Brown tractor. When she was new and shiny she was on display at the East of England Show! Now her bonnet is pitted with rust, her windscreen is filthy and she sometimes can’t help but dribble oil. She is is also prone to bad moods, gross flatulence and doesn’t like getting up in the mornings…

We have an old tractor,
Her name is David Brown!
She’s now retired,
Doesn’t work upon the ground.
She’ll likely be seen,
Sawing up some wood,
She’d like to go ploughing,
I doubt if she could.
So she sits in the shed,
Doesn’t go anywhere,
It’s the tractor equivalent,
Of the high wing-back chair!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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