Sunny Clod Crushing!

Posted on March 31, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It’s strange how a few hours can make such a difference to most things. The evening before last I had to pull out of rolling a field after the drill because great clods of clay were sticking to the rolls. Yesterday the sun came out and within a few hours the result was completely different and I was a ‘Happy Chappie!”…

Some days things go badly,
other days things go well.
Yesterday I was in rolling heaven,
the day before in rolling hell!
When the sun comes out in the afternoon,
and the top of the soil dries,
the rolls clank away merrily,
a perfect clod-crushing exercise!
Whatever you do in life,
some days work out just fine,
often your rolls clog in the morning,
after lunch bathe in perfect sunshine!

May the sun shine on you today, your rolls clank merrily and crush all those clods that inhibit your enjoyment of a Friday!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The View from my Window!

Posted on March 29, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

There is nothing quite like the view from a tractor cab when you’re doing a job like rolling. You sit there hour after hour going up and down the field putting the sort of stripes in the wheat crop that are normally associated with Wimbledon Tennis Club. However, after a while it can get rather tedious…

Rolling the wheat on West Field,
up and down I go,
boredom is setting in,
fed up with the radio!
My flask of tea is empty,
the water has gone too,
and all I’m left to occupy me,
is watch the passing view!
It’s then I suddenly realise,
how lucky can I be,
watching passing countryside,
Anyone want to swap with me?

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing today, enjoy the view!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Brightest Daffodils

Posted on March 24, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Every year, just when it seems that the daffodils are gone for another year, the brightest, oldest and best appear on the farm. Like a ‘Last Hurrah’ these beautiful, tall, visions in yellow, stun us with their brilliance. This year they serve to remind us of the reassurance of continuity during difficult times…

Planted so many years ago,
in very much gentler times,
the daffodils that line our drive,
inspire us more than rhymes.
They’ve seen difficult times before,
up on this Chiltern ridge,
and give us reassurance,
after events on Westminster Bridge.

Let us remember PC Palmer,
who put his own safety aside,
and repeat his deed to our children,
as to why this brave man died.

Like the bright yellow daffodils,
that shine so brightly here today,
They remind us to make the most,
of every single day.

Thinking of all those who died, were injured or affected in any way by the attack. We remember in our thoughts (and prayers if you wish), the families left behind.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

Oh Deer!

Posted on March 21, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I was flying my drone over a field of wheat to check on establishment when I came upon some grazing guests. They didn’t seem to take much notice of the buzzing machine above them but continued to munch on a tasty wheat lunch! It reminded me of a question asked by school children on a visit to the farm last year…

Some schoolchildren when visiting the farm,
asked a question without alarm:
“Mr Farmer?” when I was near,
“Can you tell who owns those deer?”
They thought that I was making fun,
when I told them “Not anyone!
they spend their days they always roam,
where they are they call their home!”
That explanation is complete,
except when they’re munching at my wheat!

…But I do love to see them, they are such graceful animals that it’s easy to forgive!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Tea Bags!

Posted on March 20, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The other day Mrs Bard and I were at a wholesale warehouse. Having had some dealings with a catering firm in a previous life, I was used to seeing everyday items available in non-domestic quantities. However a large bag caught my eye and I was shocked…

How many tea bags,
do you buy in one go?
Do you ever consider,
when stale do you throw?

I was wandering about,
a wholesaler recently,
when I came across a bag,
of proportions beyond me!

I had to look again,
at the number there within,
eleven-hundred tea bags,
a tea-drinkers win win win!

Have a magnificent Monday and take time for a cuppa!

A Drill-Man’s Woes!

Posted on March 17, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It’s no fun being a drill-man! When drilling, it is vital that he is given the right size of the field. 0.32ha (0.78 acres) can make a great difference as we found out late last night when we ran out of seed with only a handkerchief-sized area unsown. If my legs were long enough, I’d kick myself…

A drill-mans life can sometimes be,
full of doubt and misery!
It comes about through calculations,
and sometimes rather damp cultivations.
It always helps him to know,
the correct acreage you need to sow,
this avoids that terrible need,
when late at night there’s no more seed.
Any drill-man worth his salt,
will always know it’s the farmers fault!

I woke up this morning was it just a dream?
I looked in the barn – not a single bean!

March Dust!

Posted on March 16, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Farming is in many ways a game of chance. You don’t need to lecture a farmer about climate change as he is very aware of the differences between weather experienced in different years and seasons, let alone decades. For instance, there are few over-paid, over-pensioned, so-called climate ‘experts’ who would know about the phenomenon called ‘March Dust’…

‘March Dust is Worth a Kings Ransom’
or so they’ve always said.
It doesn’t happen many years,
so I’ve seen or read!
You get out the rolls,
to roll the wheat,
drive up and down,
on your tractor seat!
Then if you’re lucky,
(take this on trust!)
you may just notice,
some rare March Dust!

This may mean,
in many ways,
a farmer can shout:
“Happy Days!”

May you have a happy day and find some rare March Dust of your own!
Stay lucky and safe.

Francis and the Pigtails!

Posted on March 15, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday on the farm, relief tractor driver Francis was cultivating. It is worth noting two facts: One: He has cultivated more land in his time than most of us have had hot dinners. Two: Having fathered three boys, one would possibly consider that his knowledge of ‘pigtails’ was sparse. He may not be used to platting hair but his understanding of a ‘Pigtail’ cultivator is probably unrivaled…

Up and down the field he goes,
keeping the straightest uniform rows.
He’s done this job many times before,
today, yesterday and in days of yore!
Some may use an expensive machine,
he knows oldies are not what they seem.
Despite some rust and faded paint,
they get on with the job – ‘flash they ain’t!’
In summer you’ll find him checking yield
‘cos he’s out standing in his field!

Many thanks to Francis for stepping up to the plate, it’s great to have you back!

Mutual Benefits!

Posted on March 13, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It’s Monday morning, the weather is mild and dry and all is well in the kitchen! The three dogs have been out, saluted the morning and are now glued to the warm Aga. The puppy (who we hope will soon grow up) is sharing a bed with our pensioner. They seem to have bonded well…

Our boisterous puppy,
likes to be seen,
with our old dog,
who’s seventeen!
Unfortunately,
it looks and appears,
she ignores his wisdom,
from all those years!
She rushes around,
our fenced garden,
crashes into him,
never says ‘pardon!’
Though when she settles,
not on full throttle,
she makes an excellent,
hot water bottle!

Have a great week, see you again tomorrow!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Rusty Brain Test!

Posted on March 10, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

My rusty old brain is complaining of overload as I prepare to take my PA6A test to qualify me to use a knapsack sprayer. Of course I’ve been using one since dinosaurs ruled the earth, but nowadays to comply with regulations, you have to have specific paper qualifications. So this afternoon I shall be at the mercy of an examiner who isn’t allowed to take my advanced years into account…

I’m busy revising this morning,
hoping to do my best,
later today I’ll be nervous,
when taking my PA6A test.
I’ve used a knapsack sprayer,
(‘grandfather rights’ are withdrawn these days)
my granddaughter thinks it’s hilarious,
“Back to school with you!” she says.

Have a great weekend. Why not take out your qualifications and give them a polish!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
2017 Season
From April 22^nd to mid-October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs