Using Your Oko!

Posted on February 21, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The first time I heard the phrase ‘Get your Oko up’ was when I worked on a Cambridgeshire farm in the seventies. The phrase meant to use anger to accomplish a job that was either unpleasant or needed extra strength. Yesterday I had one of those jobs to do and used anger to help me…

I had some sawn up logs to move,
nobody near – nothing to prove,
and so I needed extra strength,
for large cut rounds and corded length

Before I started a cold-call rude,
helped to put me in the mood,
and as I lifted the heavy wood,
my back was questioning if I should!

I remembered something that made me cross,
the wood became light as candy floss!
All I can say it goes to show,
use up that Oko you’ll be nice to know!

Have a good day and use that Oko to the best effect!
© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
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E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Monday Morning Mess!

Posted on February 20, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Monday mornings always seem to come as a shock. Despite knowing for many hours that it was on its way it still surprises. In our case it doesn’t help that we have a naughty puppy that’s not a puppy anymore. All the food she inhails seems to turn to naughtiness in her stomach. Then when she is caught being bad she puts on ‘sorry’ display to rival that of a West-End actor…

Monday morning the kitchen’s a mess,
the puppy had gone berserk,
bed-stuffing was scattered all over the room,
and I had to get to work.
“Bad Puppy!” I whispered under my breath,
“Grrr, you are so bad!”
and then I gave her a biscuit,
my telling off made her look sad!
So on my hands and knees to tidy,
before coffee or cereal or toast,
and suddenly I had a lick on my nose,
it seems she loves me the most!

Enjoy your Monday, stay safe and happy out there!

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Spring Seed!

Posted on February 17, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

All our spring-sown seed is now in the barn ready for drilling. There is always a fair amount of luck involved when choosing varieties. Despite all the evidence from producer, seller, research establishments or agronomist, you never know just how a new variety will suit your soil. Both of our spring varieties we grew last year with reasonable results, so here we go again…

Spring is around the corner,
we know that it is near,
because we’ve had deliveries,
all the spring-sown seed is here.

Six tons of Canyon Spring Oats,
Eight tons of Vertigo Beans,
the oats will be for breakfast,
the beans will make proteins.

But first we need dry weather,
I once knew a man called Fred,
who said to me many years ago:
“Seed will never grow in the shed!”

Enjoy a great weekend wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com
The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Oats Away!

Posted on February 10, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The last of the harvest of 2016 has left the farm. The final 12 tons of oats that had been swept up and loaded onto our trailer, left on a lorry yesterday lunchtime. To ease loading time they were tipped from the trailer into the pit, up the elevator, out of the spout and into the lorry, quicker than sweeping while the lorry waited…

Sitting in the shed,
for a week or more,
a trailer-load of oats,
swept up from the floor
Mick from L&H,
rang to see if I,
was available to load them,
I soon said “Oh yes, aye!”
I tipped the golden oats,
into the pit to load,
and within a lunchtime hour,
they were going down the road!
I’m not sure where they’re going,
in whose packaging they’ll be,
maybe you’ll see our oats for breakfast,
or have oaty oatcakes for your tea!

With thanks once again to Mick and all the drivers at L&H Haulage and all at Fengrain (the grain cooperative that markets all our grain), for their continued patience and support during difficult times. BB

The Luckiest Hare

Posted on February 9, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

I’ve always been fond of hares, they are such gently lolliping creatures. Ever since I avidly awaited the weekly comic ‘Harold Hare’ as a five-year-old, they have been my favorite wild animal. Up to this year we even had thirty acres of grass especially put aside for them to make a habitat. The other evening, by braking heavily, I just managed to avoid killing one on the road…

The luckiest hare in Hertfordshire,
had a nasty surprise,
he stepped off the roadside verge,
and couldn’t believe his eyes!
Bearing down upon him,
on my way back from the shops,
I only just avoided him,
his luck never stops!
He raced across the road,
towards the closed boot sale site,
he’s got an appointment at the opticians,
to check his poor eyesight

Unfortunately we are also plagued in this area with illegal hare coursers who seem hell-bent on wiping these gentle creatures out in the name of ‘sport and gambling’.

The Wonder of Drones!

Posted on February 8, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Hardly a day goes by at the moment when the ‘Wonder of Drones’ isn’t trumpeted by the media. Whether it is delivering relief supplies after a disaster, crop spraying difficult to reach areas of fields or even acting as a personal transport system, the drone is heralded as the answer of the future. As a result I have given my UAV a talking to as it didn’t seem to be pulling its weight…

I sat my drone down for a chat,
“Now listen here I said,”
it’s time that you pulled your weight,
and earned your daily bread!”

So I gave it just a small list to do,
“Go overfly that crop,”
and a few things that I wanted,
from the local convenience shop!

“Then there’s this parcel,
I need to post today,
call in on Aunty Mabel,
and check that she’s OK!”

Later I couldn’t find my drone,
wasn’t hidden in the trees,
but sulking at the take-off point,
I’d forgotten to say please!

Needless to say my trusty drone obeys my every command and is my right-hand-mavic on the farm!

Making A New Friend!

Posted on February 7, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday we had a family day out to celebrate daughter Siân’s birthday. Her daughter, Marsya decided we were to see dinosaurs, along with Monkey her constant companion. As everybody knows, the best place to do that is in the Natural History Museum in London. We came away with something we didn’t expect…

In a traffic jam in Knightsbridge,
Marsya’s Monkey let out a scream:
“There’s a dinosaur in the back seat,
the most frightening that I’ve seen!
What will we do if it starts to roar?
I’m off to hide upon the floor!”

By the time we were out of London,
Marsya’s Monkey had calmed down,
“What do you mean it’s pretend like me?”
he said with a quizzical frown.
Now this morning they are best friends,
(they come from the same gene pool,)
and in a Tesco bag for life…
…they’re both off to nursery school!

Have a great day and make a new friend out there (or just get in touch with an old one!)

© Baldock Bard 2017
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above 
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: simon.holtom@btconnect.com

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
BACK AFTER EASTER
From April to October 2017
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Man Flu!

Posted on February 3, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Speaking as a man, I have to admit to being a total wimp where illness is concerned. Last night, like a fog descending, I suddenly started to sneeze and my bones ached. I knew the symptoms well, I was in for a nasty bout of the dreaded Man Flu…

I’ve got a cold,
it’s really bad,
I think it could be Man Flu.
So I suggest,
keep away from the screen,
unless you want it too!

Sadly this morning,
symptoms have gone away,
so instead of bed,
it’s work instead
normal for a Friday!

Have a great Friday and enjoy your weekend to the full!

Back to the Classroom!

Posted on February 1, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Wednesday February 1st will go down in history as the day sprayer-trainer Gary Lander attempted the impossible – namely getting yours truly ready for a PA6 Sprayer Test. Unfortunately, despite making copious notes, I am not confident that I will pass the test in a couple of weeks time. Methinks I should start to look for ye-olde-lucky-rabbit-foot before it’s too late…

Today I’ve spent most of the day in school,
seeing if they could teach new tricks to this fool,
I’ve used a knapsack sprayer for many years,
I’ve not been certified or so it appears.
So I joined a group of farmers in a class,
to prepare for a test I hope I’ll pass,
If I pass (and it will take a wing and a pray-er)
I’ll legally use my knapsack sprayer!
Thanks to Gary and all at North Herts Farmers, also to all the other farmers for putting up with me! Good luck to all taking any test of any sort today, I know you’ll pass!

The Sign Of Old Age!

Posted on January 31, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The other day I had a family outing to Luton. I hear you saying, “Luton, why Luton?” We went along with my 4 year-old granddaughter to Stockwell Discovery Centre: museums, exhibitions, gardens and excellent cafe! (If you find yourself with some time to spare in the area, I highly recommend a visit) On the way around the museum (where I saw many displays I remember from my youth!), I saw a sign that I should have worn around my neck just a few days before…

January’s a strange month,
on an arable farm,
mostly office-bound,
manual work hurts the arm!
If you have a busy day,
you tend to feel your age,
end up bent in half,
like an ancient Roman sage!
But in Stockwood Museum,
a sign I liked so much,
“I am old…
…Please do not touch!”

If you’re bending or lifting today, please take care, you’re not as young as you used to be!

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs