Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs

Saturday Friends!

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tallsSomebody once asked what made my car boot sale special. I replied that it was rather like the earth: Without people, the earth would be like just another rock in space – the car boot sale would be just another empty field. Last week a couple told me they were emigrating to the seaside. So I took their picture to add to the vast number I have of people standing beside their cars on Saturday mornings for the last 24 years! It has come as quite a shock as to how little I know about this very nice couple, I don’t even know their names…

Mr and Mrs Tall are moving,
to Bournemouth by the sea,
I don’t like to loose good customers,
especially like she and he.
They’ve been coming to the boot sales,
quite a few times a year,
with their friendly disposition,
we’ve enjoyed their presence here.
Lucky old Bournemouth,
new recipient of your smiles,
perhaps we’ll meet again one day,
it’s not that many miles!

Dedicated to all my wonderful customers, whoever you are or wherever you’re from.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Not As It Seems!

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pressIt is strange how things look different from the air. The other evening at dusk I sent the drone up over a field where Robin was pressing some ploughing with the John Deere rubber-tracked crawler tractor. My ploughing looked less than impressive…

Robin’s pressing my recent plough,
doesn’t look so good now,
when I was ploughing it looked fine,
now I’m embarrassed to say it’s mine!
In fact I’d say it makes me wince,
looks like he’s pressing a tray of grey mince!

…if you should spot me doing a dance,
I’m hoping for rain to come up from France,
if you have influence please can you say,
I’d please like some rain, but not Saturday!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Desperate Times!

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img_0490There are times when you should be busy, but because of circumstances you find yourself kicking your heels. This month has been most frustrating, much to do but plagued by major tractor breakdowns. Desperate times may call for desperate measures…

The tractor sits wheel-less in the corner,
the plough lies abandoned in the yard,
after a week the field remains unvisited,
inaction when there’s work to do is hard.

The awaited parts are on back-order,
in a month they may be on the farm,
I’ll have to fetch Dolly from the stable,
a horse-drawn plough and really chance my arm!

With thanks to all those who are trying their best to make things happen on the parts front.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
Last Bootsale this Season – October 15th 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Patient Terrier!

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terrierOur terrier is on a mission. She rushes around the house and then spends hours inspecting the skirting boards with the intensity of a hungry hound watching a tin of dog food being opened. We have tried everything except for counseling, perhaps it’s time…

Is there a rat in the kitchen?
or could it be a mouse?
our dog is going crazy,
rushing around the house!
It sits gazing at walls for hours,
playing a waiting game,
I wish it would catch just one,
perhaps that’s not her aim?

We were so concerned,
we took her to the vet,
“This terrier is normal,
no remedy discovered yet!”

In the Baldock Bard tomorrow: The cat that sings out of tune!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Age-Related Lubrication!

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lubricateYesterday was again spent on the tractor, ploughing. Burial Ground was particularly bumpy. This morning I ache all over, I can’t understand it. However in the workshop I came across a possible remedy…

My joints creak,
my muscles ache,
from sitting on the tractor.
I really think,
I must concede,
Age – the damning factor!

In the workshop,
I discovered,
a can of lubrication!
A quick squirt,
on every joint,
could be age-related salvation!

Now off to shovel some wheat and see if a squirt will help!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Talk Like a Pirate Day!

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pirateToday is not only my 1,350th posting, but also “International Talk Like a Pirate Day”. Both could be described as a silly nonsensical things designed to be just fun! All around the world today, ordinary folk will be using those phrases we know and love. Some will be dressing up for the occasion and some will simply be letting loose the odd ‘Aaaaaaaarrrrrh’ to surprised customers, commuters or colleagues. Enjoy…

“Shiver Me Timbers!”
we all say,
today is Talk
Like a Pirate Day!

Whether at work,
or at the bar,
it’s always satisfying,
to let out a big “Aaaaaarh!”

So go on I dare you,
or the plank it’ll be,
talk like a pirate,
see what fun it can be!

*In todays picture I’m modeling a 1966 T shirt from the Pirate Radio Station ‘Big L’ otherwise known as Radio London, which broadcast from the MV Galaxy off the Essex Coast from 1964-1967.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Breakdown Day!

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plough-wheelYesterday I had a puncture in the plough. Sensing that the words ‘plough’ and ‘puncture’ are hardly ever used in the same sentence, I thought this was a unique opportunity for a verse. So while I was sitting at the tyre depot awaiting a new tyre I set about writing this…

The old men on the farm
Would have seen the joke
In this technological world
this farmer’s plough wheel’s broke!

“You say your cab is hot
Yet you have air conditioning?
We walked behind a horse
If it farted we changed positioning!”

“A puncture in the plough?
On the adjustable-depth wheel?
No problem in our day
As ours was made of steel”

“So many things have changed
Your world we cannot understand
But one thing we have in common 
You can always expect the unplanned!”

Later yesterday evening there was a sudden clonking noise from the tractor front axle. It sounded very expensive as I drove very carefully back to the farm. I await the engineers! It would seem that breakdowns only occur when you are busy, nothing ever broke while parked doing nothing in the shed during the winter!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Swooping Seagulls Follow the Plough!

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seagullsYesterday afternoon I was not alone while ploughing. It was obvious that the Brighton and Hove Albion football team (nickname the Seagulls) weren’t playing as they were all watching me, circling the tractor, swooping and diving onto suddenly exposed worms in the furrow…

Brighton and Hove Albion,
can’t have been playing,
on Sunday afternoon.
Most of their fans,
we’re watching me ploughing
“This free buffet’s a boon!”

“Really don’t like the look of his furrows,
much better on the farm next door,
And judging by the taste of his worms,
His seasoning is very poor!”

All of a sudden at 3:45
the spectacle is over
They’ve all gone
with great aplomb
To watch cross-channel ferries at Dover

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Difficult Field!

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Ploughing is all about straight furrows (or so says the book I am reading in an attempt to improve). This is relatively easy until you come to circumnavigate an electric pole or pond in the middle of a field…

Whoever decided the shapes of the fields,
certainly didn’t think of the plough,
as this one seen from my drone,
is the one we’re ploughing now!
Seventeen corners six electric poles,
then you throw in a pond,
I can’t even ask anyone anymore,
it’s designer’s in the ‘Land of Beyond!’

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Clean Sweep!

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SweepOn one of the warmest summer days I awarded myself the job of sweeping out bins of wheat to transfer next door to the large barn in preparation for movement by haulier. It’s one those jobs that you can’t wait to get done, the reward at the end spurs you on to greater effort…

Sweeping wheat out of the bin
on a very hot day what a state you’re in!
Wearing a mask is a must,
to save your lungs from choking dust!
At last you find the bin is clear,
hair is itchy with chaff I fear.
It’s down my back, my neck itches,
shouldn’t wear shorts should wear britches!
Soon be time (please don’t laugh!),
to plunge myself into a welcome bath.
When I get out “I’m clean” I boast,
better clean the bath or I’ll be toast!
Really no need to act so smug,
as grains of wheat go down the plug!
The bath is clean, no more smear,

…I think it’s time 
FOR A POST-SWEEPING BEER!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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