Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs

The Yellow TR6!

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TR6It is strange how certain objects can resurrect memories that you thought were lost for good. Yesterday I saw a Triumph TR6 sports car parked next to a museum. It took me right back to a journey down the Cromwell Road in London, when my cousin gave me a lift to the now-forgotten West London Air Terminal where you could check in for a BEA (British European Airways) flight…

I seem to remember we were short of time,
I was Scotland-bound by air for the very first time.
My cousin Bruce, then in his early twenties,
Drove me down the Cromwell Road – acceleration plenty’s!
The roar of the exhaust I remember so well,
speeding down the road going like hell!
In those days speed was an exciting factor,
All I had driven was an ancient rusty tractor!
So this glamorous yellow sports car was an instant hit,
Forty-seven years later I still remember it!

I always promised myself such a car, never had one though and I doubt I ever will. The sixty-year-old me now looks for comfort, safety and reliability! Looking back it was probably my only experience of the glamorous Swinging Sixties!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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The Farmhouse Kettle!

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KettleAll visits to the farm whether by agronomist, accountant, neighbour or first-time visitor always seems to end up in the farmhouse kitchen. Much is discussed, both on and off original topic! The most important implement on the farm is used time and time again…

The old kitchen kettle,
sits boiling on the range,
“Fancy tea or coffee?”
The question doesn’t change!
Around the farmhouse table,
a meeting then ensues,
Perhaps discussing crops,
or woodworm in church pews!
“What weather we’ve been having,
have you seen this week’s forecast?
All the weeds in the crops,
are growing mighty fast!”
Perhaps some farming gossip,
“…didn’t know he had a brother!”
The following question,
“Would you like another!”

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Home and Away!

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FootballLast night a Welsh football team beat the second-ranking team in the world to reach the semi-finals of Euro 16. Did I really just write those words? I’d better just check the Internet to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I’m sure it wasn’t Wales on the billboard I saw the other evening…

Lidl, bless them, are on their own,
the team they supported have gone home,
they came across some Icelandic men,
surrendered the ball and went home again!

But Lo! What’s this? Coming from the West?
Little old Wales in their red vest!
In their way their opponents fall,
strange, it seems the wrong shaped ball?

Now they’re in the semi finals,
there’ll be sore heads in Cardiff urinals!
Back in England football’s millionaires,
watch Wales progress with envious stares!

What is missing on an England shirt,
is pride, resolve and hard work,
Great self-belief seldom fails,
so-poor England, Fantastic Wales!

Have a great weekend, wherever you are, but especially if you are from what they call ‘God’s country beyond England’. Enjoy your moment, you’ve so deserved it!
Beth yw football yn Saesneg?

© Baldock Bard 2016

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard

Twitter: @baldockbard

E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD

is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!

Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!

www.u-boot.co.uk

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New Month New Weather!

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rainSo July is finally here! Not really sure whether we’ve just had June or October! It must have been one of the wettest Junes on record, I certainly can’t remember such a long spell of such disappointing weather for many years. July can’t possibly be as bad…

Pinch, Punch, the first of the month!
No returns, rabbits and hares.
We’ve had enough rain to last us now,
soaking circuses, sodden fairs!
If the latest forecast shows only showers,
and there’s no sign of rain or hail,
grab the kids jump in the car,
and visit Baldock’s car boot sale!

I know you were expecting something better for my 1,300th blog, but sometimes life is like that! Have a great day, the weekend is just around the corner!

BONUS VERSE! 1,300 blogs away I wrote:
Mary had an electric bill,
couldn’t believe her eyes!
Took a pitch at our bootsale,
now her house seems twice the size!

Still one of my favourites!
Best wishes and an enormous ‘thank you’ to all my readers.
Without you there I wouldn’t be here!
Baldock Bard!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Life is Like a Biscuit Tin!

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BiscuitsIsn’t life remarkable? Some days your confidence is so great that you feel you could lift the heaviest weights in the gym before breakfast using just your little finger. Other days your confidence is so low, it’s all you can do to pick up a coffee mug! Today marks my 1,299th published blog! It’s all down to biscuits in the tin…

Life is like a biscuit tin,
you only get out what you put in.
If you arrive and there’s nothing there,
it just shows that life’s not fair.
If the Bourbons have been eaten,
accept you’re late you have been beaten.
The plainest biscuits left behind,
are often reliable, solid and kind.
If often disappointment you have shown,
you know what? Buy your own!

Have a great day and enjoy those biscuits! Somewhere a farmer is glad you do!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Lost in France!

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La FranceI went into a bookshop yesterday and was shocked rigid. The retailer, possibly prompted by the referendum and the England football team’s defeat to mighty Iceland, had taken a bold step in road atlas retailing…

The road to France is falling apart,
the Tunnel will be kept as a work of art!
Days of motoring abroad on vacation,
will be like visiting a far-off nation.
The French road atlas will soon be history,
no more complicated directions that become a mystery.
“Where’s the map?” a shout of the past,
the wrong direction getting there fast!
No muttered insults from a Parisian waiter,
cheap red wine to throw up later!
Visiting a street market can be such fun,
the brie cooking gently in the midday sun!
Stretched out on a beach in a post-lunch stupor
Sunburnt flesh you’re a Tourist Trooper!
But what is this? I wake up from my dream,
nothing’s changed or so it may seem.
The only difference that I can see,
we’ll be able to stock up DUTY FREE!

To all those heading off on holiday, Bonnes Vacancies and enjoy!

© Baldock Bard 2016

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

 

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Remembering Mars!

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Mars 21How do you feel and what do you remember when you miss somebody who is no longer around? Four years ago today, our great friend Marsya left us. She left behind a stern wave of such proportions that it is still swirling around the feet of her many friends. I miss her for many reasons, one being her liberal use of the English language in all its varied forms. As a result this morning I have already sworn with a couple of friends and I intend to do so in her memory with many more before the day is out…

Marsya used to swear,
enjoyed to turn air blue,
Anglo-Saxon vernaculars
in front of me and you!
But now she is silent,
but we will not forget,
how she touched our lives,
using the alphabet.
So swear along with me,
just for her today,
“That one’s for Marsya!”
you’ll explain yourself away!

Mars, you’re not forgotten, we were all so lucky to have you as a friend, Nos Da.

© Baldock Bard 2016

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Asylum Chaos in Calais!

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Part of the crowd of British Businessmen claiming assylum in Calais

Part of the crowd of British Businessmen claiming assylum in Calais

Thousands of British illegal immigrants have stormed the Calais mayoral office to claim asylum following last week’s UK referendum.
The businessmen, wearing bowler hats and carrying rolled umbrellas, made their point by chanting: “Excuse me, Madame Mayor, do you think we could possibly rely on your good nature to offer us asylum?” A lone policeman surrounded the protesters and was soon bombarded with offers of: ‘a nice cup of tea from my Thermos?’ ‘Marmite sandwich?’ and ‘a nice piece of fruit cake that my wife made?’
The group, smuggled into France ‘sometime in the last 48 hours’ by people smugglers, were offered shelter in a refugee camp known as ‘Jungle Deux’. One man, known as Mr Smith, told our reporter that he was looking forward to spending time in the jungle as he’d seen celebrities do it on TV and it didn’t look too bad, but wasn’t looking forward to frogs legs or snails in the ‘Tucker Challenge’. Another known as Mr Smith was hoping that his wife and extended family would be able to join him in Calais later if his bid for asylum was successful.
Government sources denied that mass emigration was underway and were at pains to stress that this was just normal holiday traffic, “Traffic levels on roads leading to cross-channel ports is consistent with the time of year,” claimed a spokesman. When our reporter asked why Operation Stack was in operation on port-bound motorways with many thousands of family cars, laden with possessions, awaiting a crossing, the spokesman called security and had him ejected from the news conference.
In other developments, calls for the closure of Aldi and a boycott of BMW, VW…cont p196

© Baldock Bard 2016

For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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Keep Calm and Carry On!

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keepcalmWe have nobody to blame anymore! In the past we always had the default fall-back scapegoat for all our national ills: ‘It’s the EU’s fault!’. Following the monumental decision on Thursday, the only piece of common sense I’ve heard is: Ignore the media, switch off the broadband, enjoy your weekend and start afresh on Monday when the dust has settled…

Keep calm and carry on,
enjoy the weekend,
for as far as I know,
the world won’t end.
Have a barbecue,
enjoy the sun,
meet old friends,
have some fun!
If a friend voted,
a different way,
that’s their right,
uphold it I say!

Ignore the media, switch off the broadband, enjoy your weekend and let’s all start afresh on Monday when the dust has settled. You could always visit a car boot sale!

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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In Europe By Accident!

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BelgumYesterday morning I drove up the drive to collect my granddaughter to take her to nursery school. Something about the sat-nav was very wrong. I was 35 miles north of London, yet it had me driving down a street in Belgium! Within minutes it was welcoming me back to Britain, complete with Union Flag…

My car thinks I live in Brussels,
not near Baldock town,
Driving up Kerstenmannekensstrasse
I take a look around!
It all looks very familiar,
if we remain in will it change?
If we leave will my sat-nav,
find Brussels out of range!
When I wake tomorrow morning,
will we still be afloat?
I’d better face Belgium’s traffic,
and get out to vote!

Have a good day, I’m so looking forward to the day when the politicians slither back under the stone where many of them belong.

© Baldock Bard 2016
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Every Saturday
April – October 2016
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

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