Buffet in the Barn!

Posted on October 12, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday our local church held the Harvest Thanksgiving Service in the barn on the farm. Unlike other countries, we lack a national day of thanksgiving. It was strange singing hymns and then enjoying a buffet lunch in a place where the only noise or action this morning will be of loading a lorry with another load of wheat…

We ‘ploughed the fields and scattered’
in the barn upon the farm.
Clean clothes in my workplace,
would fill me with alarm!
Afterwards a buffet lunch,
the floor and plates swept clean,
Cold turkey, ham and salad,
the best Village Thanks-giving seen!

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SG7 6RD
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every Saturday until 17th of October
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Sweeping!

Posted on October 8, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

All I seem to do at the moment is sweep. We have loads and loads of wheat leaving the farm and after each load has gone I sweep! Then I empty a bin next door, transfer it over to the big shed by conveyor and sweep again. My son-in-law bought me a new sweeper the other day, it’s been a godsend…

I load a lorry,
I sweep the shed,
empty a bin,
sweep that instead!
I sweep the walls,
I sweep the floor,
Why do both?
I’m not sure!
Then another lorry,
leaves the farm,
and I re-engage,
my sweeping arm!

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 The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!

www.u-boot.co.uk

The 5p Plastic bag!

Posted on October 7, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

So now we have to pay for plastic bags. In this age where we are all supposed to be more liberal it is obligatory to raise a cheer for aquatic wildlife everywhere. Quite how my Baldock-collected plastic bag finds its way to the sea I’m uncertain. I can just hope that other countries have similar rules. However I welcome the charge…

Five pence for a plastic bag,
the best bargain I’ve ever had!
I took my own shopping yesterday,
just so I didn’t have to pay!
But the greatest result this far,
I’ll use those bags that litter my car.
And even better no more snags,
when I attempt to open those bloody bags!
Weak and pathetic I know I am,
plastic bags defeat me, I’m only a man!

Quite why the Nanny State had to introduce this when certain shops had already introduced the charge without legislation I don’t know. Well done M&S!

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 The Baldock Boot Sale SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October

With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!

www.u-boot.co.uk

Over Another Hedge!

Posted on October 5, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Last week in Norfolk, supposedly taking a few days off, I was alerted by a familiar sound. Do other professions suffer from having to take a look? Does a dentist look at peoples teeth in Tesco’s? Does a hairdresser make comments about hairstyles on TV? Like a dog attracted by the sound of supper, I had to go take a look…

You can take the farmer from the farm,
But you can’t take the farm out of the farmer.
I’m always ‘hedgerow farming’,
A typical Farmer Palmer!
There in a field,
on the outskirts of a village,
a combine cutting linseed,
prior to autumn tillage!
“What you be doing?”
the farmer asked of me,
“Heard the familiar noise,
had to come and see!”

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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

 The Baldock Boot Sale  SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Plain Sailing!

Posted on October 3, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Recently Mrs Bard and I spent a few relaxing days on a boat on the Norfolk Broads. For late September the weather was remarkable, clear blue skies with a few high clouds. However the wind was a bonus for sailors…

Spend a few days on a sailing boat,
enjoy the peacefulness of life afloat.
A very small penalty it has to be said,
are very low ceilings and pint-sized bed.
But this discomfort becomes forgotten past,
When the wind is blowing and you’re travelling fast!

I’m afraid my skills aren’t nautical fantastic,
We spent our week in a ‘Bateau Plastique!’

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until 17th of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The River Snails!

Posted on September 30, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Recently I was at a wedding on the Norfolk Broads. During the marquee-clad reception, there was a constant procession of river cruisers passing the garden at a sedentary 4mph. Most boats had a fishing keep-net on the roof…

Migratory river snails,
bright September morning,
filling the waterways,
north-west of Horning.

Doug down from Doncaster,
with his mates going fishing,
gallons of lager,
and overboard pissing!

Captains for a week,
Plastic Skippers all,
back at work next week,
to tell stories tall.

“The fish were enormous,
should have seen the size,
you’d better come next year!”
all fisherman’s lies!

A Norfolk Wedding!

Posted on September 28, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

On Saturday Mrs Bard and I went to a wedding in Norfolk. As in the script, everything went to plan; the bride looked beautiful, the Groom handsome, and the Best Man’s speech didn’t make Aunt Flo’s hair stand on end. The food was divine, the surroundings perfectly manicured and passing boaters on the Norfolk Broads jealous! Now that the guests have scattered to the four corners of the world, all that are left are memories…

I went to a wedding in Norfolk,
a typically British affair.
A marquee erected in the garden,
(expected Hugh Grant to be there!)
The cake was a towering structure,
Icing roses adorning the base,
Had they slipped with the sword when cutting,
would have been fruit all over the place!
But everything went so smoothly,
all bathed in brightest sunshine,
It’s the perfect start to a marriage,
May Annabelle and Phil’s union shine.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Knackered of Baldock!

Posted on September 25, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I moved a bin of linseed from one bin to another. This morning I feel ninety-nine years old. There was a time when I’d not notice the physical work and merrily rush from bin to bin singing as I went. Yesterday I hardly had the strength to climb the ladder out of the bin, let alone sing ye olde farm shanty…

I’m not Eighteen any more,
I shovelled a bin of linseed and I’m sore,
The emptier the bin,
the worse a state ‘twas in,
I’m ready for the knacker’s yard I’m sure!

If anyone can recommend a good retirement home I’d be grateful!
Have a great weekend!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Weather Balloon!

Posted on September 21, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Last night we finished harvest by being chased around the field of linseed by ominous back clouds. To harvest linseed you need one rare commodity – sun! Looking at the forecast there was not likely to be two consecutive dry days in the next fortnight, so we had to go when we could. As we combined the final row a balloon appeared in the sky…

Harvest at last is over,
Just before more rain,
It will be a relief,
to feel human once again!

No more trawling forecasts,
(choosing the one we like!)
We’re so used to the symbols,
as we watch the weather strike.

That’s not to say we’re out of the woods,
next years crops are to be drilled,
we’ll need the rain so they can grow,
or the barn will not be filled!

So may we have three weeks no rain,
(a plea to those who broadcast!)
And then we can forget the stormy skies,
and ignore the weather forecast!

Thanks to Virgin Balloons for appearing to help me celebrate my 1,111th blog posting!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Happy Shopper!

Posted on September 18, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

We have many compliments about our car boot sale. Some say that it is the friendliest, some say it’s welcoming and some say what’s on offer is generally of good quality. We also have many customers who can’t speak but who endorse our sales by their actions…

A terrier came to our boot sale,
and much to his owner’s surprise,
chose a fluffy toy,
and carried it like a prize!

By the end of the week,
left of the toy was none,
so back to the Saturday boot sale,
to buy another one!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs

Buffet in the Barn!

Sweeping!

The 5p Plastic bag!

Over Another Hedge!

Plain Sailing!

The River Snails!

A Norfolk Wedding!

Knackered of Baldock!

The Weather Balloon!

The Happy Shopper!