Harvest (at last)!

Posted on August 22, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Just as dust was drawing in last night we started harvest. The wheat was dry and ripe, the night was cool and off we went! Luckily the crop was dry and the temperature low enough to be tipped straight onto the floor of the shed. However none of us had expected such a late night…

Harvest has started,
the dust is here again,
that we don’t mind,
so long as it is not rain!
John is carting wheat,
to the store from the field,
and tipping it in the barn,
who knows about the yield?
Suddenly it’s late,
it’s after half-past-one,
We all should be getting sleep,
ready for tomorrow’s sun!

Have a great weekend and enjoy the sun, sorry about the dust but we’re in a hurry!

Baldock Bard 2015

The Enormous Spanner!

Posted on August 19, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

For the last few days on the farm we have been preparing for a harvest that keeps being delayed by showers of rain. Those little last-minute jobs that should have been done when there was time have become Herculean tasks. You’d have thought that after all these years I would have learnt…

You don’t need a sledge-hammer to crack a nut,
or a dirty-great spanner when your watch goes ‘phut!’
When all seems as bad as it possibly can be,
it’s time to sit down with a nice cup of tea!
Step back from the problem and it’ll shrink,
Because nothing is insurmountable (or so I think?).

If anyone knows were I can buy a few warm dry days, please let me know. All the wholesalers around here are fresh out of them and the only ones left are dodgy second-hand ones on the Internet!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Cowman’s Lament

Posted on August 17, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

When I left school I worked on a dairy farm. In those days, every country road used to see a dairy tanker in the mornings. Now I have trouble working out where my nearest milk producing farm is, I think there might be one in Essex but I’m not sure. When the price of a single cigarette is more expensive than milk, you know somethings wrong…

Old Sam used to love his cows,
more love for them than his wife allows!
‘Marlene Three’ was his dear,
She’d stamp and flick her tail in your ear!
He’d call her always “ma wee hoor!”
before she exited the parlour door.
What he’d make of milk today?
“I’m better off in heaven'” he’d say.

With love and best wishes to dairy farmers across the UK, and especially those facing a future without cows. Sam died over thirty yeas ago and cows disappeared from the farm he worked on some time later.

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

No Dust Today!

Posted on August 15, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

We have had yet more rain overnight. Despite the path outside the farmhouse being dry now (04:35 Saturday morning!), it will be a couple of days before the crops are dry enough to harvest again. So the giant combines will stay silent (the picture of my neighbours combine was taken with my drone on Wednesday evening) for a couple of days, however there’s no peace for the wicked…

There’ll be no dust on the fields today,
no harvesting wheat or making hay!
This is August unless you forget,
all the crops are soaking wet.

But for those with vast spreading lands,
no chance to rest their busy hands,
no extra sleep from work non-stop,
they’re preparing ground for next year’s crop!

(the smaller farmer, who tells this tale,
is preparing to host a car boot sale!)

Have a great weekend and I’ll see you all on the other side!

Not A Harvest Morning!

Posted on August 14, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

If anyone had been here, just after 6am, they would have witnessed a gruesome view. An elderly farmer in pyjamas and wellingtons, ventured out to check the rain gauge! With two disgruntled terriers, he walked as far as the gauge, swore, tipped out the contents (narrowly missing a peeing dog), and headed back for a much-needed coffee…

It’s hardly a summer’s morning,
damp with mist in the air.
The farmer checks the rain gauge
there’s 20mm in there!
No need to rush to the combine,
the trailer can stay in the shed,
the dogs have had their morning walk,
and all can go back to bed!

The last line is pure fiction I’m afraid as I never seem to get to complete my ‘to do’ list.
I hope you all have a great weekend.

Meeting and Making Friends!

Posted on August 10, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

This morning I am cheating. Every month I place a rhyming advert for the car boot sale in a local magazine (On Your Doorstep – Baldock). Last month’s was written very quickly on deadline day, I almost wrote it without thinking. Re-reading it this morning I suddenly realised that it rather summed up the car boot sale and what I think is our greatest achievement over twenty-four years…

Many go to the Boot Sale,
Not just to sell or buy,
But meet up with old friends,
And say ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi!’
They have a cup of coffee,
maybe something to eat,
They always meet on Saturdays,
be there every week!
They say it’s always friendly,
I believe it’s true,
So next Saturday we’re hoping,
We might see you there too!

© Baldock Bard 2015
For more from the
Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk

The Baldock Boot Sale
SG7 6RD
is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
every Saturday until the end of October
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Writer’s Tears!

Posted on August 8, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

I’m always on the look-out for ‘quirky stuff’ to give me inspiration and provide the photo to head the daily blog. During the last 1,081 posts I’ve used a vast variety of images that I’ve seen while I’ve been out and about. This morning I’ve been distracted and spent far too much time looking through photo-files without producing a single word or thought. Then I came across a picture that seemed to sum up the situation when writers have a blank and wandering mind…

When your brain refuses to do,
and a blank page stares back at you,
you’ll confront all your deepest fears,
and grab a bottle of ‘Writer’s Tears!’
At first there’s just a feeling inside,
as a unicorn you prepare to ride!
Then a torrent of words appear,
no need to shed a writer’s tear!

This is, of course, pure fiction. When I have had a drink I lose control of my fingers and they write words like: wfhuffnc or bdmpeer!
Have a great weekend and enjoy words, however you discover them.

Oh to be a Farmer!

Posted on August 3, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

There is a very nasty condition that affects almost all farmers. It comprises of an inability to drive in the countryside without looking over the hedge to see what other farmers are doing. In the mainly-arable East of England it is at its height at this time of year…

The Cherrys have their combine out,
So have other farmers.
The Crosses are harvesting,
and so are the Palmers!

I’d better dash home again,
to see if harvest is near.
Carry out a moisture test,
from grain rubbed from the ear!

No it isn’t ready,
combining I can’t go.
Strange there is no difference,
from an hour ago!

To be on the safe side I think I’d better check again as I can hear a combine in the distance…!

Child with Crow!

Posted on August 1, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Trawling through some photographs I came across one that I think of as ‘Child with Crow!’ It was taken not far from here about 55 years ago when a small child (dressed rather oddly compared to modern children’s attire) met a tame crow…

“Good morning, Mr Crow,
how are you?
Are you living comfortably?
Do you enjoy the view?”

“Good morning child,
learning to walk?
I’m sure you are surprised,
that I can talk!”

Tell me Mr Crow,
Do you have a family?
Are they in a nest,
in a nearby tree?”

“They’re patiently waiting,
for me to find them food,
so I must dash,
don’t mean to be rude!”

So off went the crow,
and the boy went for his tea.
How do I know this?
The little boy was me!

…and now I must dash to open the gates at the Baldock Saturday car boot sales or I shall be faced with many irate customers. Have a great weekend, see you next week!

Silence In A Noisy World!

Posted on July 30, 2015 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I went to the funeral of an old friend. As I wasn’t sure how long the journey would take, I allowed plenty of time. As a result I arrived very early at the church. Sitting in this vast silent building on my own I realised that it was the first time for weeks, possibly months or even years, that I’d had time to stop and think in almost total silence…

When did you last stop,
and take time to think,
without interruption,
(of phone or of sink!)
When was the last time,
you thought to yourself,
‘is that silence I hear?’
not even clock on the shelf!
We don’t know silence,
it’s not part of our world,
maybe we should try it,
so inner peace be unfurled.

Go, on! Give it a try sometime, it makes you realise how noisy and demanding our world is these days and allows just a few moments of peaceful silence! Find your ‘silent space’ today!

Baldock Bard

Verse and Worse from the Baldock Versemonger

Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs