Category Archives: Ye Olde British Customs

Flying with Pigeons!

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While visiting the Cereals 2018 show the other day I met a local farmer who was having trouble with pigeons on her peas. I related the story of how a farmer’s daughter brought back a personal alarm from her first year away at university and how her father attached it to his drone to scare off the pigeons who were destroying his oil seed rape crop. That evening I went flying with pigeons…

I attached the alarm to my faithful drone,
took off over the field near to home,
I pressed record on the remote control,
and sent the drone for a leisurely stroll.
All of a sudden a flutter of alarm,
a host of pigeons loose on the farm,
I swooped right down much to their surprise,
a strange machine fell from the skies!
It was the closest thing to a video game,
(swooping down on bombers in a Spitfire plane),
I whooped with success (I may have squealed!)
as I chased the pigeons off a large pea field!

With thanks to Jo for fun with pigeons! 
Have a great weekend and if you are troubled by pesky pigeons, don’t call Ghostbusters!
Picture below: DJI Mavic with added noise!  

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

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The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
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www.u-boot.co.uk

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Cereals 2018 (b)

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Yesterday I went to Cereals 2018. Various people asked why, when I no longer had any arable acres, did I bother going. At first I couldn’t come up with a good answer. However having mulled it over while I was walking around amongst the giant tractors, combines and cultivation machines I suddenly realised the answer…

You can take the farmer out of the farm,
a move contemplated with some alarm,
when he’s been used to a harvest all his life,
(so have his friends, family and wife).
It is more to him than just a career,
with it’s worry, uncertainty and cash flow fear,
when you remove his arable armour,
you can’t take the farm out of the farmer.

Have a great day and enjoy what you do while you can and stay away from big toys you can’t afford or justify!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

 

 

 

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Cereals 2018!

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Today I’m off to a ‘Farming Show’ called Cereals. This isn’t what non-farmers would think of as a typical agricultural show. It’s a specialist, single-sector, exhibition cum informative talking-shop with demonstrations of machines big and small (without sheep, cattle, pigs or alpacas!). It is also interesting to me as a drone-flying-farmer to view the latest innovations…

The car parks open at six,
the gates open at eight,
I’m still writing my daily blog,
looks like I might be late!
My drone is having a day off,
(no chance of breakage today!),
I will be near Duxford,
watching someone else at (work) play!
The talk will be all serious,
of crops and rain and sun,
but what nobody will tell you,
despite problems farming’s such fun!

Have a good day everyone, stay safe and happy.
(Photo taken at Cereals 12th June 2014!)  

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


 

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Simon Woz Ere!

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Have you ever wondered what you’ll leave behind after your day is done? Perhaps your lasting presence will be preserved in digital bytes on Twitface or similar? A piece of graffiti on a rail bridge gave me cause to ponder this question the other day…

‘Simon woz Ere”
written in paint,
apart from the spelling,
I found it quite quaint!
How did he do it,
was it done for a dare,
must have sat on the pipe,
with nary a care!
So let’s here it for ‘Simon’,
he can be sure,
that until workmen paint it,
his immortality’s secure!

I have to admit that despite sharing a name, I didn’t do it and haven’t the nerve nor the love of heights to leave such a marker!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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The Donkey’s Half Trim!

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It’s a well-know fact that many farmers make bad gardeners unless they can use a tractor! In my garden I wage a love/hate war with the topiary. Topiary can be compared to a vegetable plot – fine where you just look at it in someone else’s garden, but it’s hard work and unlike vegetables you can’t just pop out to buy what you need in town! According to my late mother I am the eighth generation to cut the hedges, they should have had my battery-powered trimmer (with added beer!)…

I was trimming the garden topiary,
Dreaming of a beer!
When I reached the man on a donkey,
My arms were tired I fear.
The trimmer whirred and snipped away,
Cut around the donkeys head,
and just before I removed an ear,
The battery went suddenly dead!
So I put it back on charge,
Much-relieved I did appear,
There was much relief from dead relations,
So I revived myself with a beer!

If you are doing something skilled and need a hand today, don’t ask me to help!! Have a great weekend and I’ll see you on the other side!
Just in case you were wondering… the picture shows the man on a donkey half trimmed!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

 

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The One-Winged Bandit!

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Here on the farm we seem to have gained the reputation as a sanctuary for birds who are abandoned, un-loved or poorly. Our latest recruit is a goose who had a nasty operation that ended with the removal of a wing. As he is now in possession of just one ‘arm’ naturally he had to be called ‘Bandit’ (after the fruit machine). He has settled in and is now a fully-fledged member of the much-feared Goose Gang…

Bandit strolls around the farm,
an exaggerated stagger as only one ‘arm’!
He’s slowly joining in with the gang,
as around the pond they hang,
of his bravery there is no lack,
he fights with one ‘arm’ behind his back!

Have a great day and stay safe

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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‘Tut-Tuting’ in the Queue!

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More and more people seem to have less and less time on their hands these days. A two minute wait at traffic lights or a queue of more than four customers at the bank leads to much ‘tut-tutting!’ This seems to be most prevalent at the supermarket check-out…

Sunday morning at the basket checkout,
an old man with full basket makes another want to shout!
Then horror of horrors he’s not weighed his veg,
and some in the queue move closer to the edge!
Then the weigher doesn’t weigh and is broken down into parts,
resulting in a queue of irate olden-farts!
They have time during the week to do their shopping,
but at the weekend it’s the aisles they are a-clogging!
When they start to tut I remember a quote to fit:
‘When God made time he made plenty of it!’

Have a great day and watch out for me ‘tut-tutting’ at the checkout! Apologies yet again for the poor quality of the verse this morning, it reminds me never to give up my day job!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

 

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Where Old Caravans go to Die!

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Walking the dogs this week in rural Cambridgeshire, I came across an abandoned caravan in a small yard miles from anywhere. Such is life, that once you spot one, you spot more and by yesterday I’d seen more abandoned caravans than one could sake a stick at. I came to the conclusion in the middle of the night that I’d discovered where old caravans go to die…

I was awake and in my mind’s eye,
I wondered where caravans go when they die,
when you stop to look and stare,
you see dead caravans everywhere.

They remember a time,
when the kids were both young,
old-fashioned holidays,
in the rain and the sun,
such great excitement,
with Lucy and Lance,
queuing at Dover,
before a ferry to France.
Life slowed down,
when the kids left home,
Sid and Betty,
were left on their own,
gentle weekends,
with the caravan club,
a few days away,
in a field by a pub.
Sid stopped driving,
and Betty didn’t tow,
sold the van to a rider,
to take to a show,
but then the rider,
got bored with her horse,
the caravan now lays abandoned,
between the elder and gorse.

…as for boats,
it’s different I think,
they just give up,
and finally sink!

If you’ve been away in a caravan for Half-Term I hope you had a wonderful time and brought back many wonderful memories.

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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The Multi-Tasking Failure!

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I spent last Saturday on a narrow boat moored beside a butter-cup-laden grass field at Hemmingford in Cambridgeshire. As well as being the day of a certain well-publicised royal wedding, it was also my wife and my 39thwedding anniversary. How she has put up with me for all those years I’ll never fully understand. However I was on my best behavior and things were going well until I took our two terriers for a long walk…

A farmer you know walked two terriers on leads,
from a distance you could hear his cussing and pleads!
You also notice he’s on the phone,
a multi-tasking man out on his own!
He meets a couple with a puppy in tow,
quite well behaved no lead don’t you know,
all of a sudden a terrier breaks free,
it’s collar’s empty on the lead now you see!
The two absconders run out of sight,
a shaggy black puppy and terrier with fight,
thankfully they run to the farmer’s wife on her boat,
when he finally arrives (I’m not going to quote!),
she note from his breathlessness not all’s gone to plan,
“You can’t multi task because you are a man!”

Have a terrific Tuesday and if things go wrong, don’t admit you were on the phone!

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD


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Wedding Days!

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It is ironic that this weekend when millions are watching a certain wedding on TV, I, in my little corner of the world, have my mind firmly fixed on a wedding in a little Welsh village on the 19th May 1979 (also at 12 noon).
Have you ever looked at a photograph and wondered ‘what was I thinking at that moment?’ in an attempt to remember your thoughts at an important moment in your life.
The picture above shows me with semi-wet hair at the moment we said ‘I Do’.
All our lives are truly unique. We all have sunny days but when the storm hits the only option is to cling together and wait patiently for the rainbow and sunshine that always follows.
There is only one preparation for a life like this: Choose your partner well by choosing your best friend.
After all these years I can look back at this photo and know what I was thinking: “I’m so lucky she’s just said ‘yes!'”

I’M STILL AS LUCKY TODAY!

Have a great weekend and enjoy ‘that other wedding!’

© Baldock Bard 2018
For more from the Baldock Bard click on ‘Home’ above

Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard

The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 26 YEARS!
starts 7am Every Saturday
until October 20ththOctober 2018
Buyers Park and Enter FREE!
www.u-boot.co.uk

It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

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