Carpe Diem!

Posted on October 27, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday I had another birthday. Thinking about this, I suddenly thought how much our being here depends on luck, fortune and circumstance. Had our mothers decided; ‘not tonight dear!’ or if our fathers had been late back from work and too tired, then we’d probably have missed out! Another thought involved chances taken and lost over the years…

You don’t know the good times ‘till they’re gone,
Maybe these are good times?
We could be wrong!
Carpe Diem,
Seize the day!
Tomorrow Today,
Will be Yesterday!
We don’t know the good times ‘till they’re gone!

With my very best wishes for a Very Happy Monday!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
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Wheelmarks Across The Land!

Posted on October 23, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I had a phone call from a neighbour reporting a worrying incident. Apparently someone had driven across some recently-drilled wheat in a straight line until they reached the top of the hill, at which point they chose a diagonal line towards a hole in the hedge. They then turned the vehicle around and returned. I had to agree that this was strange behavior…

“Someone’s driven across your field,
In a Four-by-Four!
They got in through a hole in the hedge,
No wheel marks were there before!”
T’was very muddy where they turned,
At the top of the field,
Will the crop recover,
Or will you lose some yield!”

“That sounds terrible,”
I had to agree,
Didn’t have the heart to say,
The driver – that was me!
During the call,
I withheld a laugh,
I had only been reinstating,
An in-crop local path!

The Joys of Tillage!

Posted on October 22, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I was speaking to a neighbouring farmer the other night and he said, “There’s something very satisfying about tilling the soil.” I have to admit that up to that moment I’d never considered cultivation as being ‘satisfying’ as we’re normally up against the clock or the weather and have no time to consider its merits…

I was ploughing the other day,
Before the Hurricane came our way.
For a while I listened to Radio Two,
Then looked around for something to do!
I wasn’t entirely concentrating
In places it looked like rotavating!
The real problem was that it showed,
The very worst ploughing can be seen from the road!

The Murmuration!

Posted on October 15, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I was driving past the field where I hold Saturday car boot sales the other day when something caught my eye. At a glance it looked as if the electricity wires had thickened. I pulled into the field and realised it was hundreds of starlings congregating on the wires…

Hundreds of birds sitting on the wires,
They are starlings, so it transpires,
They’re named ‘Sturnus Vulgaris’ (by those in the know),
Which sounds rude, but I don’t suppose is so!
Most gregarious, often found in a crowd,
(probably around a bar, acting very loud!).
They used to eat for free from the farmer’s barn,
Authorities now view their presence with alarm.
They’re now common in a pub quiz causing consternation,
When they’re in a group, they’re called a ‘murmuration.’

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18^th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
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Agri-Wacky Races!

Posted on October 13, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

On Sunday afternoon we were chased around the fields by the threat of rain! We finished drilling wheat at tea time and I firmed up the seedbed by rolling in behind (like putting an extra blanket on the bed!). However I was being chased by the sprayer putting on pre-emergence weed killer, also attempting to beat the forecasted rain…

Like Wacky Racers we dash around,
Drilling, rolling and spraying the ground.
When darkness falls we’re still on the go
We roll and spray but no longer sow!
Finally we’re finished all machines to the shed
We go in for supper then it’s time for bed…

…and then it rains and rains and rains!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18^th
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Magic Shop!

Posted on September 27, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

The other day in Fortuneswell, on the Island of Portland in Dorset, I came across an interesting shop window. I was instantly hooked and marveled at the clever artistry. The further I looked into the shop, the more I wanted to buy…

There’s a magic shop down Dorset way,
Will sell strange items if you pay.
They’ve got great big buckets of steam,
And chocolate tea pots fit for a Queen!
Cordless extension-leads for your DIY,
And tartan paint to confuse the eye!
They’ve large sky-hooks to lift trees and logs,
And elbow grease for the toughest jobs!
There are strong glass hammers to crack a nut,
Dyson hoover bags remove any muck!
Best of all to avoid all scandals,
Top of the window Ronnie Barker’s Fork Handles!

Thank-you to the artist for making me stare in wonder and want to buy.
If Carlsberg painted shopfronts…

Good hedges making good neighbours!

Posted on September 25, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

There is an old countryside saying here in the UK: “Good hedges make for good neighbours!” Yesterday I gave a neighbour a hand with trimming his hedge. Luckily we were able to get up close and personal with the cherry-picker cage on our JCB Loadall. After some Health and Safety assessment and advice we tackled the hedge…

“Buzz buzz buzz” goes the hedge trimmer,
as the tall hedge gets thinner and thinner!
Up in the cage to ease the clipping,
safer than a ladder with no chance of slipping.
The neighbour hoisted high above the ground
shouts down: “Look what I have just found!”
Rusty shears had grown into a branch,
Where someone gave up on the final tranche!
As we got further from the floor,
The thicker branches need the chainsaw!
Until most of the hedge was gone you see
And we adjourned inside for tea!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October 18^thWith more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

Our Home-Bred Visitors!

Posted on September 6, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

Over the last few days a group of visitors has visibly decreased in numbers. I always enjoy seeing Swallows arrive at the end of April and am sad to see them go at this time of year. This year so many have hatched that I’m surprised that there were no mid-air collisions during their feeding flights. It is remarkable when you consider that this has been going on for hundreds and hundreds of years and while war and turmoil affected nations, the Swallows migration was a constant that us country-folk could cling to…

The swallows are almost gone,
Only very few remain,
They’ve popped down to South Africa,
They’ll be back next year again.
They’ll travel down through France,
And then through Eastern Spain,
They’ll cross the Sahara Desert,
By this time they’ll be feeling the strain.
On and on they’ll fly,
Cover some 200 miles a day,
And if they’re very lucky,
They’ll survive to be back next May.
It’s a shame that they don’t know,
How they’ll be missed back here,
And how joyfully they’ll be welcomed,
When they return next year.

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Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Devil’s Cymbals!

Posted on September 4, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

I’ve put away the plough for a while and attached the Cambridge Rolls to the tractor to break down the clods. Being made up of a three rows of cast-steel rings on an axle they are very noisy. I call them ‘The Devil’s Cymbals!’…

When my children were very small,
And my wife was teaching in a school.
My mother would provide Farm-Day-Care,
They’d go with her everywhere!
Before the days of ‘all’s an offence’,
Health and Safety was common sense,
So on the tractor the kids would go,
To harvest, cultivate roll or sow!
In those days when cabs were bare,
and the rear window just wasn’t there,
The noise for a child sitting on a sack,
Was more like an alien attack!
But sitting on their improvised seat,
The little darlings would fall straight to sleep!

© Baldock Bard 2014
For more verse click on ‘Home’ above
Facebook: Baldock Bard
Twitter: @baldockbard
E-mail: baldockbard@www.baldockbard.co.uk
The Baldock Boot Sale
Every Saturday until October!
With more FREE parking and billions of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Freight Train!

Posted on August 26, 2014 by The Baldock Bard.

What do you think of as you sit at a level crossing? Is your imagination at all touched by the train as it passes? The other day I sat waiting for a freight train to cross and my idiot mind ran amuck…

The long freight train goes ‘Clickety-clack’
As it winds its way down the long straight track,
Today it carries many tons of gravel,
From the quarry it will slowly travel.
I often wonder if the driver prefers,
Carrying freight as opposed to hims and hers!
There’s no need to shout “Mind the doors!”
Or put up with “Driver!” from commuter bores.
As it crossed the crossing I had to refrain,
From asking if I could drive the train!