The next time there is a dramatic rescue on our screens, look for Christmas tree lights playing a vital role. I have never known anything be as excellent at attaching itself to what is not required and then be incapable of getting any sort of purchase on what it’s supposed to! Hang a set on the bottom of a helicopter and it’ll be able to pick up anything, apart from a Christmas tree! The late Bruce McIntee from our village had the right idea when it came to these festive tangles…
I put the tree lights away carefully,
Untangled, all working well,
But when I came to decorate,
My lights became decorate hell.
They attached themselves to the sofa,
I pleaded and was forced to beg,
They then grabbed my mug by the handle,
And coffee spilt all down my leg!
In a final show of defiance,
They wrapped themselves like a snake,
As I danced and shook them quite badly,
Under foot I heard some of them break!
So now I have come to a conclusion,
I know it may end up quite dear,
I shall send these lights for recycling,
And buy new lights, year after year!
Dedicated to the late Bruce McIntee who not only replaced his Christmas lights frequently but also enjoyed a good joke and is probably doing some secret tangling of his own on your lights right now!
© Baldock Bard 2013
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