I sometimes wish I lived in a new-build house on an estate in a town. Yesterday was one such day. I wonder if you simply ‘Flush and Forget’? The contents of the toilet magically whisked away, out of sight and out of mind to a public facility beyond the range of view and smell. Unfortunately mains drainage (like fast broadband) has yet to reach this outpost of civilisation, just 35 miles north of Marble Arch in London. When there is a problem, out come the draining rods…

I lift the lid,
the problem is clear,
there’s no movement it would appear.
I assemble the rods,
each measures a yard,
locate the outlet that’s what’s hard.
Because the drain,
itself is full,
I’ll have to push as opposed to pull.
An hour of pushing,
this splattering smell,
Please someone release me from this hell!
Then all of a sudden,
a belching sound,
the obstruction has moved way underground.
There’s a satisfaction
no town-dweller knows,
when the smelly stuff suddenly flows!

“Fill the bath, flush the loo”
I shout to my daughter,
At last the sight of clean flowing water!

An hour later the problem is forgotten and my thoughts of a modern house with public sewage works fade back into the deep recesses of my mind, ready for the next time!

© Baldock Bard 2016
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