Many years ago the Great North Road was notorious for highwaymen. They used pistols to hold up carriages containing nobility and robbed them at will. Yesterday I drove up the same North Road (now the A1) and noticed a modern-day Dick Turpin waiting to rob motorists. His horse may have been replaced by a van and his pistol with a camera, but he is just as effective! If their actions had a dramatic effect on the safety of our roads it would be laudable, however the statistics are inconclusive and so from a public perspective it remains a cash-gathering exercise. Plus ca change, c’est la meme…

The modern highwayman sits crouching,
round the corner in his Tali-van,
collecting extra tax from the motorist,
It’s part of a cunning plan.

You don’t see him ‘till the last minute,
he’s got you before you know how,
a letter arrives on the doorstep,
you’re a grade ‘A’ criminal now!

So pay up and don’t you dare argue,
they’ve got your pants down as well,
and if you get caught more than twice,
you’re going straight down to hell!

In case you were wondering – No! I wasn’t caught, as I was behaving like a model citizen, driving within the speed limit and singing along to the radio (thankfully nobody could hear my warbling above the noise of the road!).

© Baldock Bard 2013
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