There are some food-snobs who dismiss prawn cocktail on a menu as being either “steakhouse fodder for Tracy and Darren” or “oh, so Seventies dahling!” I don’t care if I’m thought of as being unfashionable. I’d also quite like to be Tracy and Darren’s age again thank you very much! I care little if the closest they get to haute cuisine is in a steakhouse or a repeat of Moldavian Masterchef on an obscure satellite channel. So crinkle the lettuce and reach for the Thousand Island, the starter is on its way…
Is a boy prawn called a cock?
And does he have a tail?
Perhaps he has a girlfriend,
Once frightened by a whale!
When he goes to bed,
Is his mattress made of lettuce?
Does he dream saucy dreams?
Containing spicy fetish!
Does he get back home?
Parents long in bed,
Having been out on the town,
Painting it green and red!
Darren’s taking Tracy,
Out on their first date.
He’s ordered prawn cocktail,
With a hope to consummate!
On the very next table,
From the hotel chain,
Roofers down from Salford,
Have ordered it once again!
So here’s to all Cocktailers,
From wherever you may hail,
We may not be the trendiest,
But we do love Prawn Cocktail!
© Baldock Bard 2014
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Returns Saturday April 11th 2015
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