Mind Stripped Bear! | Baldock Bard

Do you ever have those moments where you half-remember a gem of knowledge? The other day I was talking to a friend and was relating something I’d read, when, in the middle of the sentence, my mind went blank. This was not just a ‘Senior Moment’, but a wild-cat strike by the few brain cells I have left. They stood huddled around a brazier just outside the empty brain in a silent protest. Ever since I have tried to recall any small useful pieces of information and commit them to file, to avoid such walk-outs in the future. However I’m not sure that I have collected much that is of any use…

Didn’t I once read somewhere…?
How to avoid being savaged by a bear.
Offer your book (hoping he likes Rock-lit),
Failing that, tempt him with chocolate!

Didn’t I once read somewhere…?
That Queen Elizabeth the First had no hair,
Francis Drake gave her syrup of figs,
He told her it helped with her numerous wigs!

Didn’t I once read somewhere…?
That farmer’s do nothing but despair,
It’s not true I’m bound to say,
Except for when we’re making hay!

Didn’t I once read somewhere…?
That kids today don’t think it’s fair,
Learning at school is so yesterday,
There’s only a need on computer to play!

Didn’t I once read somewhere…?
That sheep eat less than a grazing hare,
I realise that this could make you frown,
Because this information’s useless in town!

Didn’t I once read somewhere…?
In Russia, in ice, they swim totally bare!
Just the thought and I feel cold,
It must be the vodka that makes them bold!

Didn’t I once read somewhere…?
That books have had it, I don’t care!
I’m past it, gone, a dinosaur,
You know what? I don’t care any more!