I used to know a man called I.R. Wilde, needless to say he wasn’t. Neighbour John Crosse isn’t. Peter Smiley doesn’t always. We all know examples where names chosen in innocence by unsuspecting parents could appear years later on a remote satellite channel in a ‘When Names Go Bad’ programme…

Mrs Gates had a daughter,
Born to her late in life,
Her husband did a vanishing trick,
Preferred his secretary to his wife.

She named the baby Pearl,
As one did back in those days.
She nurtured her darling baby,
In so many different ways.

Out in the schoolyard at break-time,
Her friends would always greet her,
“We can see the Pearly Gates,
Can anyone see St Peter?”

© Baldock Bard 2013
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