A few weeks ago a couple handed in a wallet at the car boot sale. Inside was some money, cards, driving licence and credit cards, everything needed for modern daily life. I tried in vain to get one of the card suppliers to contact the lady who had lost the card, I even tried the roadside recovery organisation, all to no avail. Later on, the wallet and the lady were re-united. I wrote this to thank the couple who handed the wallet in…

Once upon a time, a small dark-blue wallet called ‘Mrs Wallet’ lived with her human in a small village in Bedfordshire. She had a very important job. It was her duty to look after everything her human needed when she went shopping: credit cards, drivers licence, road rescue card and of course money! She took this responsibility very seriously and was happy in her work. So happy was she that that every time her human opened her up, her Velcro strip sang with pleasure!

One Saturday morning, Mrs Wallet’s human said, “We’re off to a boot sale!” Mrs Wallet froze with terror. Was it not a fortnight ago that a purse she had met in the supermarket had told her that car boot sales were full of ‘pirates, brigands and cut-throats’, that stole purses and wallets, emptied their contents and abandoned them in skips, litter bins or on the side of the road!

Mrs Wallet and her human arrived in a field just outside Baldock, the sun was shining, the grass was green and the sky was blue. They parked the car and walked into the selling area. It didn’t look like a field full of pirates, brigands and cut-throats. Everyone there, whether behind a table full of exciting things or walking about shopping, looked very normal. In fact Mrs Wallet thought they looked as normal as in the supermarket or any other shop she’d ever visited.

Mrs Wallet’s human seemed to be enjoying herself; she chatted to stallholders, had a cup of tea at the burger van and bought an ornament (which wasn’t to Mrs Wallet’s taste) to go on the windowsill in the kitchen. Mrs Wallet was happy, her Velcro sang with joy.
They were just about to leave for home when Mrs Wallet’s human noticed a china doll on a stall next to the exit. Mrs Wallet was put down onto the pasting table next to a rather scruffy bear while the doll was examined. Mrs Wallet didn’t like the doll, her human had too many already and all they did was collect dust in the old chair by the front door. She heaved a sigh of relief when her human put down the doll, told the seller that it wasn’t quite what she wanted, and walked away towards the exit.

Mrs Wallet tried to scream but her Velcro mouth was stuck solid. She’d been left behind, abandoned and forgotten. She looked around. All the humans looked like pirates, brigands and cut-throats! Little old ladies had knives hidden in their knitting bags, old men brandished walking sticks that were swords in disguise and wasn’t that child’s water pistol full of acid? She was terrified.

A hand picked her up. “That lady left her wallet behind,” a pirate’s voice rang out. Another voice, this time not unlike her human said, “We could take it to the Organiser?” The lady, whose hands were soft, picked her up and Mrs Wallet felt a little safer. However her terror returned as she saw that she was being taken to a terrifying old man dressed in a fluorescent jacket. She was being delivered into the hands of the Pirate Captain!
A rough hand tore open her Velcro, she felt cards being removed. This was it, this is what the purse in the supermarket had warned her about. The next stop for her was a skip, litter bin or roadside verge.

She heard the Pirate Captain speaking on the phone, “Yes, I know you’re roadside assistance, but could you contact this lady and tell her she left her wallet at the bootsale?” and “Yes, I realize it’s not my credit card. No, I don’t want to cancel it, it’s not mine to cancel, could you just let the lady know that she’s left it at the bootsale?” The pirate then said a word that made Mrs Wallet blush and she was forced into the dark glovebox of his pirate-mobile.

Some minutes later she heard a muffled phone ring and the pirate’s gruff voice: “Yes,” she heard him say, “a couple handed it in, we’ll see you soon.” Mrs Wallet hardly dared believe what she was hearing, was her human going to rescue her? Sometime later, sunlight streamed into her glovebox of captivity. The rough Pirate Captain’s hand reached in and grabbed her, and handed her over… to her human! She was so happy that her Velcro sung with joy again.

She would never listen to what a purse told her ever again and she’d always enjoy coming to the Baldock Car Boot Sale where most people were helpful, kind and honest, with very few pirates, brigands and cut-throats!

© Baldock Bard 2014
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