I went to a well-known baby-supply shop the other day. They were fresh out of babies but had all the accessories. I was particularly struck by ‘Babies First Mobile’ and the skeptical side of me became boisterous and wouldn’t lie down for a nap…

Roll up! Roll up!
It’s the greatest show on earth,
Get baby a toy phone,
Who knows what she’ll be worth?

Get her used to pressing buttons,
A jolly tune will play,
And very soon a different tune,
Profits will come our way!

Pay as you go or contract,
They both will have a worth,
In the end the bill will make her ill
And we’ll be filled with mirth!

And then we’ll sell baby laptops,
Hear those till-rolls talk,
As they wail another sale,
A tablet before they walk!
© Baldock Bard 2013
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