The New Glasses!

Posted on August 15, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

For the last two days I’ve been blundering about in the dark as I broke my glasses. Like a utility, glasses are not noticed until they are not there, especially at a busy time of year when clear vision is most important for a farmer. Mrs Bard trooped me off down to our local Alders in Letchworth (friendly people who’ve got me out of trouble on more than one occasion). I judge frames on comfort (as they are beyond my line of vision), Mrs Bard decides whether they ‘suit my face’ (whatever that may mean!) At least this gives the staff in the shop some amusement…

I’d rolled over in bed the other night,
heard a snap and had a fright!
felt around without a laugh,
snapped my glasses clean in half.
The next day a ‘Harry Potter’ mend,
others thought me round the bend,
Off to Alders in a hurry,
“I can’t see it’s quite a worry!”
Faced with a large display of frames,
discussion starts (no calling names!)
A pair is chosen, relief is shed,
(It wasn’t the ones I tried on in red!)

Thanks to all the staff at Alders in Letchworth for your assistance, jollity and humour!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Baldock ‘Boutique’ Boot Sale
STILL HERE AFTER 25 YEARS!
It is the friendliest bargain bonanza anywhere!
Feed your hungry sat-nav with SG7 6RD

2017 Season
EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!
until mid-October
With more FREE parking and a field full of bargains!
www.u-boot.co.uk

The Last Day of the Pirates

Posted on August 14, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

In the mid-Sixties, as a small boy, my mother and father would take my brother and I on a bucket-and-spade holiday to Frinton in Essex. The town was famous for it’s ‘nothing-happens-here’ quality. One of the few things I remember from those holidays was the sight of two ships, three miles off the beach, with very tall masts.
It was on this day 50 years ago that the Labour government of the day saw their law banning these ships come it force against the will of millions of listeners. The so-called Pirate Radio stations were outlawed and replaced by a lacklustre state-owned copy in the form of BBC Radio 1.
I have often wondered what those who suffered the seasickness, supply shortages and foulest weather that the North Sea could throw at them think of their legacy – radio that is bland, identikit and soul-less, a far cry from their days on the high seas…

Its left to wonder,
what these pioneers,
think of their legacy,
after fifty years!

Who could ever forget the jingle: “Wonderful Radio London!”

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Last Oats!

Posted on August 12, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

After a delay in harvest of four rain-soaked days, we finally managed to get back to the field and combine the last of the oats. This mornings picture shows the moment the drone captured the topping-up of the last trailer-load from the combine yesterday afternoon. Now all we have left to harvest is the beans which aren’t ready yet…

The last of the oats are in the bin,
my ‘white-strawed’ harvest is now in.
All that is left 86 acres of beans,
(not the sort found in High-School canteens!).
Up to the last, luck was here,
clouds always present during harvest this year.
I wish other farmers sunshine not showers,
so their wives can see smiles, not endless glowers!

I hope you all have a warm sunny weekend!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Emptying The Barn!

Posted on August 11, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

It is at this point in the farming year that I start to get nervous. The wheat has all been harvested and lorries start to take the wheat from the farm. All of a sudden the heap diminishes and doubts creep in as to whether there is enough to fulfil the contracts that I signed back in January when the plant was no higher than the toe of my wellie. Yesterday we loaded 180 tonnes and suddenly there is an ominous echo around the barn…

Eight loads of wheat have gone,
there’s space now in the barn,
Two-hundred and forty tonnes,
I have a sense of alarm!
‘Will there? Won’t there? Be enough?’
a little voice says to me!
and all that I can say in return,
“We shall just have to wait and see!”

If you’re sending grain away today, I hope you have no rejections or moisture claims! It also looks as if combines might roll again today.

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Pondering the Precipitation!

Posted on August 10, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

When I opened the curtains this morning something was wrong. It was then that I realised it was August 10th and it wasn’t raining! As soon as I was dressed I went out to the rain gauge. The result was greater than I’ve ever seen before, an amount usually found in parts of Wales, the West Country and Scotland. The lawn has grown so much I could crop it for silage and a new lake has shown up my laziness in not clearing a blocked drain…

An inch-and-a-quarter of rain has fallen,
according to my rain gauge,
a new record precipitation,
for this climate-change age!
The ducks and geese are ecstatic,
they can’t believe their luck,
as for the combine in the field,
I think it may be stuck!
Maybe we’ll continue harvest soon!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Raining Stopped Play!

Posted on August 9, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

The Combine-driver’s dog wonders when she’ll be back in her dry cab!

It’s August 9^th and it has rained for two days on-and-off now. Farmers are kicking their heels and wandering around the house getting on the nerves of their nearest and dearest. Driving anywhere seems to take them past the field where the rain stopped play, however unlike a cricket test match, there are no covers over the playing surface…

It’s been raining cats and dogs,
pouring from the sky,
farmers looking up to the clouds,
shake their fists and wonder why
it’s raining so much in August,
when harvest is early today,
“August is a wet month”
Grandfather used to say!
you can blame it on Global Warming,
or on the round full moon,
whatever is to blame,
I hope summer returns and soon!

Meanwhile across Southern Europe the ovens of Hell are at full steam, There’s nowt so strange as weather!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Lucky Farmer!

Posted on August 8, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Yesterday it rained on my parade! We were on the home straight of our harvest and had just about 20 acres of oats to finish when the heavens opened (there are also 80 acres of beans which aren’t yet ready to harvest). I was, as the media would have said ‘visibly upset!’ However when I considered how much wheat is left on other farms, I put my self-pity back in the drawer and felt sorry for others…

On the floor in the shed,
a heap of wheat not yet bread!
Outside the fields are stubble now,
awaiting patiently the tractor and plough!
Twenty acres of oats still wait,
for a return of summer – another date!
The happiest in the rain is a mallard duck,
and this old farmer who can’t believe his luck!

Picture taken with a Mavic Pro drone inside the shed, perilously close to the roof, but I managed not to crash!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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God’s Perfect Harvest View!

Posted on August 7, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

This has been a strange harvest, I have ridden my luck almost every day in one way or another and unusually come out the other side smelling of roses! We have had the strangest of weather, one day it rained on one side of the farm and not the other and local farmers have been stopped while we continued. Yesterday I had fine minutes to spare and put up the drone…

From my drone the fields look like corduroy,
the massive combine a mere toy,
the tractor and trailer minuscule,
everything looks peaceful as a rule.
From up here on high the dust isn’t seen,
a perfect rural idyll scene,
so today I’d like to share with you,
God’s own perfect harvest view!

Have a great Monday wherever you are and whatever you’re doing!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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The Cancellation

Posted on August 5, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

When you organise an outdoor event of any kind, from a family barbecue in the garden to a large show or even a car boot sale, the most difficult decision is ‘When to Cancel’. This morning I took the unusual step of cancelling our weekly boot sale because at the time it was raining hard and the forecast was terrible. The decision has to be boldly taken, however I shall be judged in hindsight. If there is rain of biblical proportions I shall be judged as ‘brave’. If the torrents, thunder and lightening fail to materialise I shall simply be called a wimp…

The forecast was terrible,
in Baldock Noah started building an ark,
he looked around for animals,
even thought it was still dark!
He came across a sign,
at the local car boot sale,
‘This sale has been cancelled,
due to forecasted rain and hail!’
He tutted rather loudly,
with expletives he didn’t skimp,
“Won’t bother with the ark,
this farmer is such a wimp!”

As I write, the sky is clearing and I think the decision I made while it was still dark may have been of the wimpish kind!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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Spanner Before Hammer!

Posted on August 4, 2017 by The Baldock Bard.

Sometimes when things go wrong I find I have just enough knowledge to fix a problem. There are also times when I have not enough knowledge to be useful but enough to be dangerous! This week has been a case in point. When we started the grain elevator in the store (a series of cups on a long belt that lifts the grain vertically to a conveyor that feeds the bins) there was something wrong. The belts were pulling to one side. Unfortunately I decided I could fix it…

Up in the roof of the grain store,
a job I’d never attempted before,
the belts of the elevator weren’t running straight,
a scrunching noise as on the side they scrape,
Not much time to effect a repair,
harvest delayed by rain to be fair,
a bearing to replace – ‘a piece of cake!’
that is when basic errors you make.
So far it has taken quite a few hours,
a simple repair beyond my weak powers,
I should learn to leave things as they are,
not hammer, before spanner, before the crowbar!

There is no fool like an old fool, I will have to admit defeat and call in someone who knows!

© Baldock Bard 2017
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