We’ve just bought a new Sat Nav. It does everything apart from cook the breakfast. It always speaks with authority even when sending you to a completely different destination. My daughter, as a joke, put a toy rat on the dashboard of my trusty and rusty farm 4×4, we all call it Rat Nav…

My Rat-Nav suits me very well,
It doesn’t speak, it doesn’t tell,
No “Turn left at the next ‘T’ junction,”
You can’t switch off its 3D function.
When approaching speed cameras it doesn’t bleep,
I’m pretty sure it’s fast asleep!
It doesn’t recommend where to eat,
Local pub or children’s treat.
It doesn’t run the battery down,
It’s only movement is a frown.
No need for electronics when on Mrs Bard’s lap
There’s an analog Sat-Nav called a map!
© Baldock Bard 2012
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