When I was young I was keen on shooting. I started with an air-gun on the multitudes of sparrows and starlings that used to guzzle the expensive pig food, moved on to a shotgun against pigeons that were guzzling the oil-seed rape plants and onto pheasants for the pot. As I grew older my aim grew more haphazard until I was even missing barn doors! The last time I fired a gun in anger didn’t go well and so I now confine myself to ‘safe shooting’ with a camera…

There was a squirrel eating oats in the shed,
that I’d put out for birds instead,
I thought I’d go fetch my gun and see,
I remembered last time – ‘stupid me’:

I’d poked the gun out from the window,
lined up the animal (not a flamingo!),
pulled the trigger to shoot it dead,
and shot the gutter downpipe instead!
The next time it came to rain
downpipe like a colander – not the same!

So having learned an expensive lesson,
I took a picture of the delicatessen,
leaving the gun safely locked away,
and the gutter to live for another day!

© Baldock Bard 2018
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