Shortbread on the River!

A friend said on the phone: “Where are you? It sounds as if you’re speaking from the bottom of a bucket!” I replied that Mrs Bard and I were taking a short break on the river. Apparently this translated in poor-signal-phone-speak as ‘Shortbread on the river’. Thus the MV Shortbread was launched…

We took a short break on the river,
With excitement we could only just handle,
The weather for May, was only Ok,
More Wellington Boot than sandal.

We came to a lock with confusion,
Had to fill it before we went in,
The water arose as it does I suppose,
First dead bottle of wine for the bin!

We stopped for the night by a lake,
Secured the boat to a tree,
Come six-O’clock, we were back at the lock,
We’d not mastered the ropes, that was me!

Back at the mooring, secure,
I said “how lucky we are!”
Two more bottles of wine, we felt just fine,
As for food, it was back in the car!

We walked in search of a pub,
It was far further than it oughta!
On the way back, we came under attack,
From some cows and I fell in the water!

“You’re not coming in wet like that!”
Mrs Bard shouted at me!
I knew I was wet, how could I forget?
So had to disrobe by a tree!

I showered and warmed my poor body,
Had a steaming hot chocolate as well,
When we get back, how good was that?
Only edited highlights we’ll tell!

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