Fashion can be confusing. One minute necklines plunge and arms are bare then, without warning, skirts are up and shorts are down. Some trends receive popular acclaim and some die out without obituary. This season’s surprise hit – the Onesie – a baby garment for ‘grown-ups’. This would be fine if it was confined to the house or the bedroom but it has appeared on our streets worn by ‘man-baby’. According to press reports, the New Look clothes store sold 75,000 of these costumes in September alone. Watch out! They’ll be invading your street any day now…

I saw a man in a baby-grow
What he looked like I didn’t know
If it’s the latest fashion I don’t fancy that
I’d rather be boring than look such a prat!

If you want to look like a ‘Z’ list celebrity
And dress as an infant that’s got to be OK-with-me!
Over the years there have been fashion fails
Borat’s man-kini didn’t enjoy record sales

But if that’s what it takes to get publicity
There can be none better to promote your simplicity!
So if you’ve a boy-band’s promotion to do
Go on, wear a Onesie, it’s bound to suit you!

However there’s an exception to this simple rule
Where there are no ifs or buts
If you’re a girl and want some exposure
Wear a Onecie and your picture’s in ‘Nuts’!
With thanks to http://www.sugarscape.com for background info

© Baldock Bard 2012

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