Yesterday I had to drive to Hertford. It was a pleasant journey and I found myself absent-mindedly singing behind the wheel. I was shocked when I realised I was singing a ditty written by a French teacher some 50 years ago that had lain undisturbed amongst the cobwebs of my mind ever since. Then another surfaced, it upset the natural equilibrium of my journey and made me wonder if I had continued driving what was going to appear next, (all the more shocking as my academic prowess was the equivalent to Z minus!)…

Masculine singular nothing at all,
Masculine plural add ‘S’ or you’ll fall,
Feminine singular kindly add ‘E’,
for the Feminine plural add ‘ES’ you see!

also…

Qui never contracts,
Qui never contracts,
You can contract Que,
as much as you like,
But Qui never contracts!

When I arrived home I sought out my school English-French Dictionary to see if I’d written down these ditty’s and found no trace. So if you’re struggling with French grammar this morning (as we all are in our daily lives!), have this one on me!

© Le Bard du Baldock 2016
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