According to a United Nations report, six billion of the world’s seven billion people have a mobile phone, whereas only 4.5 billion have access to a toilet. It is many years since the public toilets in Baldock closed and the phone signal in the town can be lamentable. Baldock is just 25 miles North of London, with third world facilities and phone signal….

I was shopping in the High Street,
I knew something was amiss,
I thought I’d finished shopping,
But had mislaid my list!
I decided to ring Mrs Bard,
To save another trip,
Alas no signal on my phone,
Not a single blip!
Then I spied the phone box,
Standing all alone,
I’d forgotten how to use one,
I went in and rang my home!
While waiting for an answer,
I thought what could this be?
I felt increasing pressure,
Was desperate for a pee!
The toilets are all closed,
So to avoid any yelps,
I drove to the superstore,
Where every little helps!

© Baldock Bard 2013
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The Baldock Bootsale returns from hibernation on the 13th April 2013!
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