This winter has been so mild that the most unwanted pests on the farm have been prolific breeders. Their increased numbers have led to me buying ever greater quantities of ‘food’ for them. In desperation I have tried blue grain and blue pellets. Now pellets of a different kind have been brought to bear…

“Come and get it!” I shout in the yard,
if anyone saw me they’d be sure to laugh hard.
I have my bucket and my little green scoop,
as I search for evidence of collective rat poop!
What they don’t expect is Russell with gun,
armed with night-vision to spoil all their fun,
they don’t realise as vermin they play,
a small grey pellet is about to ruin their day.

As part of my traceability certification that I need to have (in order to sell crops), I have to have ‘rodent eradication policies’ in place. Thanks to Russell these are now working well! However I am shortly going on a course to learn about using rat bait (something I’ve been doing for over 40 years quite successfully). Without yet another certificate, I shall not be able to buy or use rat poison after April as ‘grandfather rights’ are due to be abolished. I suppose at least it keeps faceless desk-jockeys in work dreaming up ever-more dastardly restrictions! 

© Baldock Bard 2016
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