This is a very fraught time on the farm. In order to satisfy EU and UK red tape we are in paperwork mode and deadlines loom. This means checking and rechecking that the areas of the farm are correct. So the measuring wheel comes to the fore and exercise is taken. Forget the gym membership, go measure a field…

I went for a walk with a Mr Wheel,
Not used to walking, you’ll know how I feel!
He trundled along at quite a pace,
I said “slow down, it’s not a race!”

But he kept on, his numbers counting,
I struggled to keep up, calories-used mounting!
After three field headlands, I was no longer brave,
Passing cars tooted, passengers waved!

With all this walking, I suddenly found,
My loosened trousers fell to the ground!
So please Mr Regulator, may I appeal?
If my figures are wrong, please blame the wheel!

So if you see a farmer ‘enjoying’ a brisk walk,
Please don’t interrupt him and try to talk,
Because he’ll be breathless, unable to speak,
I suggest you wave and try again next week!

© Baldock Bard 2015
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